DEAR READERS: Our country was hit a devastating blow by Hurricane Sandy that sent millions of Americans reeling. I live in Manhattan, N.Y., which was divided between those who had electricity and power and those who did not. Millions of gallons of water flooded New York City's tunnels. I don't know if the average New Yorker fully understood how essential the underground transportation system is to the daily commute. Same for the bridges and tunnels.

But, truth be told, we had it good. Yes, people in four of the five boroughs were inconvenienced, some dramatically. But Staten Island, our little sister borough, was decimated. And the state of New Jersey was dealt a catastrophic blow.

The good news is that the death toll is low, considering the swath of havoc this hurricane horrifically cut across our East Coast landscape. Still, people have died -- children and the elderly and parents. It's a reminder that life can never be properly valued. It is, as that famous commercial says, priceless.

As we are now days away from this tragedy, I wonder what we are learning from it. For sure, we see that nature is far more powerful than we are. I think some of us also recognize that we should heed the warning of emergency experts. Some lives could have been saved had people evacuated when it was required.

But more, something is happening to our world. We have had multiple weather disasters in the last few years that tell us our world is changing, and we better figure out how to change with it.

New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo has basically told people to take their heads out of the sand, no pun intended, and to take the change in climate seriously. Others, including former Vice President Al Gore, the focus of the Academy Award-winning documentary "An Inconvenient Truth" (www.climatecrisis.net), have been sounding this alarm for years.

I hate to admit it, but I think most of us don't have a clue what we can do to help make our world a safer place. We know the political arguments: One side says that global warming is real and is caused largely by the human desire for convenience, driven by excavation and use of fossil fuels and the like. The other side says the geologic and climatological times are simply changing.

I wonder if we now will consider putting politics aside so that we can figure out how to support our country in rebuilding itself -- in a safer way. There is a lot of talk, especially during high political seasons, about preserving our country for the future. I would like to learn how we can actually do that.

Without question, we can all give something to the aid organizations that are helping with the immediate crisis on the ground that has displaced so many people. We can give generously to the American Red Cross (redcross.org), the Salvation Army (salvationarmy.org) and other local organizations that have risen to the occasion. But more, we need to research and learn about our world and how we can be better citizens of it. One source for information is epa.gov/climatechange.

The time is now.

DEAR HARRIETTE: A college friend called to ask my advice about whether she should take a job at a company I used to work for. She left a message on my voicemail saying that she has been out of work for a few years, and when she learned about this job opportunity, she jumped right away. She was offered the job. Because I worked there for a long time, she had the presence of mind to check in with me before making a decision.

I need to call her back, but I'm not sure what to say. I hated the work environment. The staff was really negative, and I thought it was a toxic place. Do I tell her that? If she needs a job, why should I stand in her way? -- No Endorsement, Washington, D.C.

DEAR NO ENDORSEMENT: Your friend called you because she wanted honest input. That's what you should give.

Speak from your personal experience. Say what you liked and didn't like about working there. Be specific about what you say you hated. Do your best to present an objective view of your experience.

One thing I have done when giving guarded recommendations to people is to say that if the income is critical, they should take the job while keeping in mind that they don't have to be there forever. They should do their best to navigate the job with as little stress as possible, and regularly remember why they accepted the job in the first place. By being objective about the decision to take a job, it can be easier to withstand the difficulties that may come their way.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My boyfriend dumped me the day after he learned that I lost my job. I used to make a lot of money, and I always helped him financially. He has several children and works intermittently. I helped take care of the kids and helped him pay for everything, because we were a couple. I loved him and thought that's what people did for each other. Now it seems that he was just in it for the money.

I am so hurt. I haven't talked to him for three weeks. I used to see him almost every day. I miss him, and my heart aches. What should I do? -- Alone, San Francisco

DEAR ALONE: Lick your wounds and erase his phone number from your memory bank. He is a user. Chances are that he showed signs of bad behavior before, but you chose to ignore them. It's so easy to want to paint a picture that is rosier than it actually is.

As painful as his deception may be, you are better off without someone who is so callous. Surround yourself with loving friends and family, and exorcise him from your heart. You are more valuable than he ever knew.

DEAR HARRIETTE: On a recent pediatric visit, I told the doctor that our daughter now climbs out of her crib and comes in our room. She is 2 years old and a very wild sleeper. The pediatrician explained to us that the sleeping and eating patterns of kids can be a war for parents.

The doctor told my husband and me that we have to be united. He said that when she gets out of the bed, we should put her back in but not speak to her.

My husband converted her crib to a toddler bed, and we proceeded to count how many times our daughter got out of the bed. I counted 23 times that we put her back in bed. She cried and screamed nonstop, then finally pointed to her shiny boots, smiled and said "shoes"! My husband and I wanted to laugh, but it was wise to be silent. This child is relentless!

I told my husband to go to bed. My daughter and I stared at each other until 2 a.m. Then my daughter lay on her pillow and proceeded to pop up to see if I was still there!

I am pooped. I need my eight hours of uninterrupted sleep. What can I do? -- Momma Needs Rest, Cranford, N.J.

DEAR MOMMA NEEDS REST: Creating the discipline that makes your child follow your rules can be extremely challenging, particularly when it comes to bedtime. Your pediatrician was right in encouraging you to stick to the rules. If you let your daughter sleep with you, she will not want to sleep in her bed -- possibly for years.

You may want to go into your daughter's room with her an hour before bedtime. Do slowing-down activities together, including reading, giving her a massage and telling her a bedtime story. Tell her that one rule is that she must sleep in her room all night long. Dim the lights as you coax her to sleep. Stay in the room with her until she falls asleep.

When she gets up and comes into your room, silently walk her back, tuck her in and leave. Even if you have to do this over and over again, do it. Eventually, she will learn that she isn't going to win this war.

There's a great book that may help your family, called "It's Time to Sleep in Your Own Bed," by Lawrence E. Shapiro.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I started playing games on my phone with my children, and now I feel like I'm addicted. Whenever I have a spare moment, I find myself playing silly games instead of doing my work. I even got caught by my boss last week. I know this sounds crazy. I'm usually very responsible, but I can't help myself. What can I do to curb this habit? -- Addicted, Washington, D.C.

DEAR ADDICTED: What advice would you give your child? Turn off your phone and put it away so that it's not easy to boot up and play on a moment's notice. Set times when you will play with your children, and agree that you will play only at those times. Take the games off of your phone and have them only on a device at home.