DEAR HARRIETTE: A college friend called to ask my advice about whether she should take a job at a company I used to work for. She left a message on my voicemail saying that she has been out of work for a few years, and when she learned about this job opportunity, she jumped right away. She was offered the job. Because I worked there for a long time, she had the presence of mind to check in with me before making a decision.

I need to call her back, but I'm not sure what to say. I hated the work environment. The staff was really negative, and I thought it was a toxic place. Do I tell her that? If she needs a job, why should I stand in her way? -- No Endorsement, Washington, D.C.

DEAR NO ENDORSEMENT: Your friend called you because she wanted honest input. That's what you should give.

Speak from your personal experience. Say what you liked and didn't like about working there. Be specific about what you say you hated. Do your best to present an objective view of your experience.

One thing I have done when giving guarded recommendations to people is to say that if the income is critical, they should take the job while keeping in mind that they don't have to be there forever. They should do their best to navigate the job with as little stress as possible, and regularly remember why they accepted the job in the first place. By being objective about the decision to take a job, it can be easier to withstand the difficulties that may come their way.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My boyfriend dumped me the day after he learned that I lost my job. I used to make a lot of money, and I always helped him financially. He has several children and works intermittently. I helped take care of the kids and helped him pay for everything, because we were a couple. I loved him and thought that's what people did for each other. Now it seems that he was just in it for the money.

I am so hurt. I haven't talked to him for three weeks. I used to see him almost every day. I miss him, and my heart aches. What should I do? -- Alone, San Francisco

DEAR ALONE: Lick your wounds and erase his phone number from your memory bank. He is a user. Chances are that he showed signs of bad behavior before, but you chose to ignore them. It's so easy to want to paint a picture that is rosier than it actually is.

As painful as his deception may be, you are better off without someone who is so callous. Surround yourself with loving friends and family, and exorcise him from your heart. You are more valuable than he ever knew.

DEAR HARRIETTE: On a recent pediatric visit, I told the doctor that our daughter now climbs out of her crib and comes in our room. She is 2 years old and a very wild sleeper. The pediatrician explained to us that the sleeping and eating patterns of kids can be a war for parents.

The doctor told my husband and me that we have to be united. He said that when she gets out of the bed, we should put her back in but not speak to her.

My husband converted her crib to a toddler bed, and we proceeded to count how many times our daughter got out of the bed. I counted 23 times that we put her back in bed. She cried and screamed nonstop, then finally pointed to her shiny boots, smiled and said "shoes"! My husband and I wanted to laugh, but it was wise to be silent. This child is relentless!

I told my husband to go to bed. My daughter and I stared at each other until 2 a.m. Then my daughter lay on her pillow and proceeded to pop up to see if I was still there!

I am pooped. I need my eight hours of uninterrupted sleep. What can I do? -- Momma Needs Rest, Cranford, N.J.

DEAR MOMMA NEEDS REST: Creating the discipline that makes your child follow your rules can be extremely challenging, particularly when it comes to bedtime. Your pediatrician was right in encouraging you to stick to the rules. If you let your daughter sleep with you, she will not want to sleep in her bed -- possibly for years.

You may want to go into your daughter's room with her an hour before bedtime. Do slowing-down activities together, including reading, giving her a massage and telling her a bedtime story. Tell her that one rule is that she must sleep in her room all night long. Dim the lights as you coax her to sleep. Stay in the room with her until she falls asleep.

When she gets up and comes into your room, silently walk her back, tuck her in and leave. Even if you have to do this over and over again, do it. Eventually, she will learn that she isn't going to win this war.

There's a great book that may help your family, called "It's Time to Sleep in Your Own Bed," by Lawrence E. Shapiro.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I started playing games on my phone with my children, and now I feel like I'm addicted. Whenever I have a spare moment, I find myself playing silly games instead of doing my work. I even got caught by my boss last week. I know this sounds crazy. I'm usually very responsible, but I can't help myself. What can I do to curb this habit? -- Addicted, Washington, D.C.

DEAR ADDICTED: What advice would you give your child? Turn off your phone and put it away so that it's not easy to boot up and play on a moment's notice. Set times when you will play with your children, and agree that you will play only at those times. Take the games off of your phone and have them only on a device at home.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I completely disagree with your advice to the mom who had difficulty getting her 15-year-old daughter out of bed for school every morning. Your suggestions for staying in the room, sanctions, etc., are making the mom do all the work, when it's the daughter's responsibility to get to school on time -- not the mom's!

My suggestion to Mom is to back off! Tell your daughter that you will no longer be responsible for waking her up every morning. Don't ask her every night what time she needs to get up. Buy her the alarm clock of her choice, and offer to collaborate on strategies that she might use to get up (alarm clock across the room, snooze button, etc.). It becomes your daughter's responsibility to get herself to school on time. And when she does sleep in and is late to school, do not say a word. She will have the natural consequences of whatever the high school's policies are for lateness. Soon she will get the message, I promise.

Before you know it, your daughter will be away from home in college and will have to do this herself. The time to learn is NOW. -- Tough Love, Chicago

DEAR TOUGH LOVE: Your point is a good one that several other readers have echoed -- namely, that this teenager needs to become responsible for herself. A couple of other readers thought the teen might have a health condition that needs to be addressed. One reader shared that his long-sleeping son actually had mononucleosis, which contributed to his lethargy.

I did some additional research and learned that, according to a Stanford University study, teenagers need at least eight hours of sleep per night to be highly functioning. When they do not get enough sleep, they often do poorly in school and suffer behavioral challenges and ultimately health challenges. See this article for more details: www2.providence.org/wallawalla/providence-st-mary-medical-center/sleep-disorders/Pages/Teens-and-Sleep.aspx.

So, for any parent who has an overly sleepy teen, you may want to monitor how much sleep she or he is actually getting and take your teen for a physical to make sure all is well.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I was cleaning my son's room (he's 10) when I came upon a note from his teacher that he should have given to me. It was a request for a meeting with the teacher that I missed because I didn't know about it.

I was outraged. I didn't say anything right away to him because I wanted to cool off. What is a constructive way to address this? -- Mad Mom, Denver

DEAR MAD MOM: Show the note to your son and ask him why he didn't give it to you. Explain that it is his responsibility to immediately give you anything the teacher sends home to you. Begin the practice of reviewing your son's homework and checking his bag with him to make sure everything is in order.

Contact the teacher and reschedule the meeting, and let the teacher know you just got the note. Suggest that the teacher also email you or call to ensure that you get any future messages.