DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently learned that a college friend is suffering from early-onset dementia. She is only 53 years old. It is so sad for her and her family. Some friends from college want to do something for her and her family, but we are at a loss for ideas. I can only imagine that it must be tough on her husband and children. We don't want to pry. How should we go about offering support? -- Well-Intentioned, Washington, D.C.

DEAR WELL-INTENTIONED: I'm sorry about your friend's condition. Early-onset dementia is so frightening because it takes people by surprise.

You are right that her family is suffering, and they likely are constantly trying to figure out how to take care of her and of one another. When people become ill, whether from dementia or other conditions, their friends often stay away because they feel awkward and don't know what to do or say. You are doing the right thing to figure out how to be present during this tough time.

Reach out to your friend's husband and ask him if there are any specific tasks that you and your group of friends can take on. Suggestions include cooking meals, taking the children to their recreational activities and cleaning the house. If your friend's dementia is advanced, perhaps you and your friends could volunteer to sit with her while her family takes a break. By giving her husband specific ideas, you make it easier for him to respond.

Let him know how many people have expressed their desire to help. Ask him if they are in need of financial support as well. Sometimes a few dollars from a lot of people can be tremendously beneficial. And for friends who live out of town, financial contributions are a convenient way to help.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My family spent the weekend with another family, and mostly we had a good time. We did run into some friction, though, because the other family has two daughters who fight all the time. They are constantly bickering with each other and even hitting and poking. My daughter ended up in the middle of their feuds a few times, and it got ugly in terms of arguing and shoving. Both moms stepped in and got the children to apologize. But it was exhausting.

I’m wondering how we should handle this moving forward. We all like one another and want to spend time together again, but I don’t want my daughter to suffer because of these ill-behaved children. -- Protective Mom, San Francisco

DEAR PROTECTIVE MOM: Often families with two children have to deal with bickering. Children constantly vie for power in such family dynamics.

You are right to protect your child from such feuding. Teach your daughter to speak up for herself and to move out of the way when the other girls are going at it.

Additionally, speak to the other mother and express your concern about the ongoing volatility between her girls. Tell her that your daughter is feeling uncomfortable and that you want to do all you can to help calm things down. Ask for her support.

In future weekends together, you can plan activities during which all the children are not together. For example, you and your daughter could take a walk or otherwise separate yourselves for a spell.

Finally, you may want to consider shorter visits. Day visits rather than weekend sleepovers may make the experience more manageable and pleasant.

DEAR HARRIETTE: There was a lot of good information in your answer to the parent who was concerned about what to tell her children about the Penn State scandal. One crucial point, however, was left out: Parents need to empower their children to tell an adult -- no matter what threats the abuser has made or what the abuser's connection (family member, friend, etc.) is to the child. Encourage children to make a list of trustworthy adults to whom they can report inappropriate events. Remind them to keep telling until somebody listens.

When I was a tween, I was sexually assaulted by a family friend in my own home, but I was not empowered to tell anyone. -- Speak Up, Round Lake Beach, Ill.

DEAR SPEAK UP: I'm sorry to hear about what happened to you and am grateful that you are sharing the wisdom that comes from experience. You are absolutely right that children need to have the courage to speak up and tell their parents and/or key trustworthy adults what happened to them.

I realize that this is much easier said than done. Just to say it out loud once can seem like the most humiliating action. But the only way a victim can be helped is if he or she says something. Too often, sexual predators convince their victims to remain silent, which allows for the horrors of situations like Penn State and too many others to go unnoticed for years.

We must protect our children. Teaching them to speak up when they have been hurt is an essential step in that process.

DEAR HARRIETTE: A friend just asked me to go into business with her on a small venture she is starting. I love the idea of it, but I don't have any extra money to do anything. So when she asked me to contribute $2,000, I told her I wouldn't be able to do it. She got mad at me and said I wasn't being serious. I tried to explain to her that I am willing to work as hard as I can, but if I don't have the money, I don't have it. She's hardly speaking to me now. What should I do? -- Broken Friend, Washington, D.C.

DEAR BROKEN FRIEND: Count your blessings. If your friend isn't open to having an honest discussion about how the two of you can work together based on both of your realities, you don't want to do business with her.

It is often challenging for friends to transition into a business relationship. Guidelines need to be set, and roles and responsibilities defined. That she was unwilling to consider options for how you can work together means that she is not the right business partner for you.

Just so you know, there are many variations on how to structure a business. It is not uncommon for one partner to put up the money and another to do the lion's share of the work or get less equity in the company. Trust that not everybody goes into entrepreneurial partnerships with deep pockets.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My aunt dropped off her cat for me to watch this week. The main problem is that I am severely allergic to cats that shed. This cat sheds fur everywhere, and I'm absolutely miserable, with constant sneezing and head colds. My aunt knows that I am allergic, but she dropped off the cat with no warning and then went out of the country. I feel that it's disrespectful, but I am too nice to mention anything to her about it. How can I politely explain to my aunt that what she did was inconsiderate? -- Can't Breathe, Cincinnati

DEAR CAN'T BREATHE: For your health alone, you must speak to your aunt. While you see her actions as disrespectful, I believe it's more likely that they were unconscious. Your aunt was so busy trying to get her act together to leave town that she didn't think about anybody but herself.

Of course, that is not good. Your health was compromised. Thank goodness you didn't have a worse problem. As you likely know, people with allergies like yours can suffer severe consequences, including literally not being able to breathe.

This is a serious situation. Definitely speak to your aunt and let her know that you cannot take care of her cat again.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am staying with my dad for the summer because my new job is close to his apartment. My mother and father have been separated since I was 4 years old, and I've been living with my mother essentially my whole life.

Although I see my dad on weekends and occasionally at family functions, he and I are not close. Most daughters have a great relationship with their fathers, but that is definitely not my story. I am lucky if we even get an opportunity to eat dinner together. I'm used to not spending much time with him, but there is a part of me that longs to have some sort of connection, even if it's just sitting down together for a meal. How can my dad and I become closer? -- Yearning for Dad, Queens, N.Y.

DEAR YEARNING FOR DAD: Now that you are staying temporarily with your father, you are in a perfect situation. While it may feel awkward since you don't have a history of spending time with him, do not let this moment pass.

Tell your father that you want to get to know him better. State the obvious, and make it clear to him that you want to give it a try.

Tell him that you are planning a special dinner for the two of you on a particular night. Ask him what his favorite foods are. Express your excitement about the possibility of spending this time with him.

In addition, do your best to get up when he gets up so that you can have a few minutes together in the morning. On the weekend, ask if you can go out and enjoy some quality time together.