DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a high school student, and I have been playing the piano for 10 years. It is something that I enjoy. I got a new piano teacher this year. She is a smoker, and her breath is the worst smoker's breath I have ever smelled before. It never used to be this bad!

She sits next to me while I play, and when she talks the smell is nauseating. I try to hold my breath but this makes me mess up. When I mess up, she yells.

How do I tell her that her breath smells so much that it is impacting my piano playing without hurting her feelings? -- Nauseous Pianist, Seattle

DEAR NAUSEOUS PIANIST: This is a tough one. I can imagine how awkward you feel about having to deal with this situation. But I do think that there is a diplomatic way to handle it.

Drum up the courage to speak to your teacher before you sit down at the piano. Apologize for having difficulty playing properly sometimes. Tell her that you want to share something with her that makes you uncomfortable. With her blessing, tell her that you have noticed that she is a smoker, and that, unfortunately, the strong smell of smoke on her breath distracts you when you are playing.

She will likely be embarrassed. Hopefully, she will either brush her teeth before you come for class or not smoke close to your arrival. That may not help enough. You should also tell your mother about your challenge. As good as this teacher may be, you may need to look for someone else to teach you who is a nonsmoker.

DEAR HARRIETTE: A book that might help your readers with the one part of writing that always stumps me -- grammar -- is "Eats, Shoots & Leaves" by Lynne Truss. I am the queen of run-on (and on) sentences, and this book is a great help! Punctuation is a part of grammar many of us are less acquainted with, and reading this book will help you write sentences that are more readable. -- Compassionate, Chicago

DEAR COMPASSIONATE: Thank you for this recommendation. So many people identify with the challenge that some face when it comes to putting pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard).

Not everyone is a naturally gifted writer, but all of us have something to say. The general sentiment from everyone who has written in to support the reader who lacks grammar skills is that he should not give up on his desire to write. Go for it, even if there may be errors. For novice writers, it's often true that sentences may come out clumsily or flat. It doesn't matter. Just write. As many Mamas have said, "Practice makes perfect." And with a bit of help from grammar books, writing workshops and honest support from others, virtually any novice writer can become proficient at expressing him or herself.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I enjoy reading your column; you seem to have the good sense necessary to make a success of it.

One thing came up that I would like to comment on. "Child of God" wrote to you complaining about people using the name of God carelessly. I agree with her complaint and with your answer, but there is another dimension that needs to be addressed. She said Christians should be offended, and your response spoke of Christian tradition, but the prohibition against using God's name in vain comes originally from the Jewish Torah at Exodus 20:7 (the Second Commandment). It exists in Christian tradition because Christians adopted a good deal of Jewish tradition. Too many Christians today talk as if there are two groups: Christians and heathens.

I worked in Germany for several years. One of my colleagues there was an intelligent and friendly man who complained about some facets of society and spoke of "Christian values." I stopped him and asked him to give some examples of these values. Everything he listed came from Jewish tradition, and many are common to almost all religions.

It helps to remind folks that there are other traditions and religions that worship God, too, especially where the Christian tradition is not original. -- Faithful, Washington, D.C.

DEAR FAITHFUL: Thank you for your clarification and for broadening the discussion. We live in a world of many religions. It is wise to learn about the ways in which others practice their faith.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I had a friend who was publicly humiliated. She drove drunk, hit a car and left the scene, but, ultimately, she was tracked down and arrested. It was in the papers. What she did was terrible, but she is a good person: She is always nice to me, and she did a lot for the community, which made it all that much worse.

I sent her a note, telling her I heard of the accident she caused, but I let her know that my opinion of her did not change. I did this for two reasons. First, she was -- and still is -- a great person. Second, I did not want her to be embarrassed when she saw me. There was enough of that to go around in our town. She was grateful, and I know I did a good thing for her when she was feeling terrible. We know when we fail, but we want to know our friends and acquaintances can still see the good in us. -- Standing Up for a Friend, St. Charles, Ill.

DEAR STANDING UP: Thank you for sharing your story. It's important in the healing process for people who have been humiliated to have someone who loves them and supports them through it. This doesn't mean that the supportive person should overlook the situation; it means to do just what you did, for the person to reach out to express compassion and connection.

It can be excruciatingly difficult to face up to one's bad behavior. When you know that someone has your back in spite of your misdeeds, it can be much easier to face yourself and do your best to fix the situation at hand.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I hired a new teacher at my school recently. He left brand-new computer equipment unattended in his classroom for several hours. The teacher did not notify anyone that he left the equipment unattended until the next school day. Naturally, it was stolen. I'm upset that we have to replace the computer equipment because of his negligence. I really want to fire him, but I think that's an extreme action. Can you offer a way for me to reprimand him without losing my temper? -- Being the Boss, Park City, Utah

DEAR BEING THE BOSS: Unless you have a written policy in place stating that such an act of negligence will lead to dismissal or even reimbursement, you cannot go to that extreme. Sit the teacher down, and talk about safety and the value of equipment. Perhaps he didn't imagine that anyone would steal from the school because he had never had such a thing happen where he previously worked.

He needs mentoring and a reprimand. Calm down and guide him. That will be your most effective next action.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Yesterday, one of my managers walked out of an important meeting for about 30 minutes, and he was nowhere to be found. He returned eventually. After the meeting was over, I pulled him aside and asked him about his disappearance. He responded that he went to another department to talk to a co-worker. What should I do? I needed him to be in meetings, and not wasting time visiting a co-worker in another department. -- About to Blow My Top, Chicago

DEAR ABOUT TO BLOW MY TOP: Don't assume that he was wasting time visiting the co-worker in another department. Call him into your office and dig deeper. Ask him what the nature of his meeting was.

Ask him why he thought it was acceptable for him to leave what you deemed an important meeting. Find out if he understand the nature and value of the meeting in your eyes. I don't know how many meetings you have, but many companies are overrun by meetings, and sometimes it's hard for work to be completed because meetings seem to get in the way. Could this be true at your office?

Rather than assuming that your employee intended to disregard your meeting, talk to him until you are clear about his thinking. Then, make your expectations crystal clear. If you expect your staff to stay in meetings until they end, tell him as much. If you prefer to know if there are conflicts in advance, make that clear. Finally, in cases of emergency, let this man and your other staff know how to inform you of their need to leave.