DEAR HARRIETTE: One of my best friends is gay, but our other friend still uses the word "gay" to describe things she thinks are stupid. She says our gay friend doesn't mind, but I think he does -- he would just never admit it. Should I act on my instinct and tell her she needs to stop, or should I just let it go? -- Keeping It PC, Miami

DEAR KEEPING IT PC: By all means, speak up. Words are powerful, and how we use them is important. Being insensitive to the use of a word like "gay" is actually what is stupid. (Do you see how even saying the word "stupid" is fiery? I believe in searching for uncharged words to describe feelings and thoughts.)

Talk to your friend about her choice of words and make it clear that you find her speech offensive. This is true regardless of whether she is in the company of your gay friend, by the way. It's important to acknowledge that wherever you are and no matter the company, using language in a charged way like that is unwise because it continues a narrative of insensitivity that is unkind.

Your gay friend may or may not mind. But that isn't even the point. What's key here is for your friend to recognize that words have the ability to empower or hurt. Choosing empowerment is the way to go.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I made a silly and potentially costly mistake. I received an email from a friend suggesting that I look into a way to earn money from home. The link looked like a site from a television station, with articles and testimonials from a variety of people who said they earned money in this way. I found it intriguing. I did try to reach my friend to see if he had tried it, but I didn't hear back from him. (Later, he said his email was hacked.)

I got lured into the promise of earning extra money and signed up for it. Of course it required a small fee, which I paid. And then nothing. I didn't ever get to the place where I would earn all this money.

Now I'm worried that my credit card may be compromised. What can I do? -- Hoodwinked, Los Angeles

DEAR HOODWINKED: Usually, if something seems too good to be true, it is. I'm sorry this happened to you, but all may not be lost.

Contact your credit card company and tell them that you believe the charge was fraudulent. Explain what happened and ask if they can stop payment and/or place an alert that the company you paid practices fraud. Credit card companies have departments set up to help customers with such things, so there's a good chance you will be reimbursed and your account can be protected from that company charging you again.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I carpooled to a party with some friends recently. The driver had quite a few drinks, and I really didn't want to ride back with him, but when I offered to drive, he got irate. We got home safely, but I wonder what a better way to handle this would have been. I know I risked my life by getting in that car. -- In Jeopardy, Chicago

DEAR IN JEOPARDY: This is an example of why I think you should always carry extra money. Never put yourself in a position where you have to get into an unsafe car. Have enough cash or a credit card to get a taxi or car service to take you home.

You could have asked the others who were carpooling with you to help you wrestle the keys from the driver. Together, your group may have been able to get him to listen.

You may want to check in with the driver to let him know that you are grateful everyone made it home safely but that you are sincerely concerned about his actions. Tell him you think he was intoxicated and it was unsafe for him to drive. Suggest that in the future he not drink and drive and that, if it inadvertently happens again, he should turn over the keys. He may not want to hear this, but we are talking about the possibility of saving multiple lives. Now is the time to step up.

You already know how lucky you are. Don't make the same mistake twice. If you carpool again, identify a designated driver in advance. Agree up-front who will not drink and will ensure that everyone gets home safely. But don't use the designated driver as license to be a passenger who gets drunk. Remain responsible.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Changing one's diet can dramatically improve or even cure acne. Try going off wheat, sugar and dairy. The reader's daughter who is suffering with acne may have celiac disease or be gluten- or lactose-intolerant. Also, stop drinking soda pop. -- Acne-Free, Chicago

DEAR ACNE-FREE: You make a great point: What you eat can directly affect the health of your skin. Eliminating or reducing sugar can be helpful to teens' overall health and may help to reduce the frequency of acne outbreaks.

It is important to remember that acne usually occurs in teens because of hormonal changes during puberty. Visiting a dermatologist can be incredibly helpful for anyone suffering with acne. Also, taking your teen to an internist for a complete physical can help you identify exactly what's going on in your teen's body. If there is another underlying condition, a medical doctor can help to identify it and recommend treatment.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My son was invited to spend the weekend with one of his classmates at their country home. He is excited to go. He hasn't done anything like this before. As I get him ready, I'm wondering if I should give the family money for food or for whatever activities they may do together. I don't want to presume anything. My son is 12. What is the protocol here? -- Stepping Out, Schaumburg, Ill.

DEAR STEPPING OUT: Give your son money for the weekend. That way, if the family goes out and he needs money, he will have it.

Generally speaking, though, when a child is invited to spend the weekend with a family, the family takes care of the expenses such as food and other activities. If an expensive activity is part of the agenda and you are expected to foot the bill, the family should let you know in advance.

I think it's safe for you to relax and know that your child will be well cared for. Have him send a thank-you note upon his return. You should call to say "thank you" as well.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I've noticed that an older woman who goes to my church has gained a lot of weight, but she's still wearing her same clothes. The skirts are now hiking up in the back and drooping in the front. It's not a good look. I like her so much and want to help her, but I feel like she will think I am being rude. She is a pillar in our church.

We have a seniors group where we talk about ways we can support one another. I was thinking I might be able to bring up this topic at the group generically without speaking directly to her. What do you think about that approach? Or should I speak to her directly? I am a senior, too, so I know how challenging it can be to grow old gracefully. -- Fashion Faux Pas, Cincinnati

DEAR FASHION FAUX PAS: This is a tricky situation. I like your idea of the seniors group -- if you have more than one thing to mention that really does affect other members of your congregation. I say that because, if it's obvious this woman is the one with the fashion challenge, it will just call attention to her publicly, which could be hurtful.

If you think you can speak to this woman without judgment, go for it. Ask to speak with her privately. Tell her you have noticed something you want to bring to her attention, namely, that her skirts are fitting differently. Suggest that she go to the local tailor to have the hems evened out.

You can bring up this touchy subject by speaking about yourself. If you have had a fashion challenge in recent years, tell her how you handled it. Compliment her on her style and recommend that with a little altering, her outfits can be perfect once more.