DEAR HARRIETTE: I was recently accepted into the college that was my top choice. My cousin, who is a year older than me, applied there last year and did not get in. She really wanted to go, and I know she probably is upset that I got in and she didn't.

I am definitely going to this school, but I don't want my cousin to feel bad or feel like she is not as smart as me. What should I say to her? -- Family Matters, Salt Lake City

DEAR FAMILY MATTERS: Your cousin may have hurt feelings that actually don't have anything to do with you. She may still be upset that she didn't get into the school of her dreams. Because you are her family and close to her, it may feel to her as if her nose is being rubbed in it. It's important to remember that this is not what you are doing.

I suggest that you speak to her. Tell her your good news and acknowledge that you are excited about going to this college. Let her know that you remain so sorry that she was not invited to attend.

Don't go into the reasons why she may not have been accepted. Colleges take many factors into consideration when they admit students, and being smart is only part of it.

Encourage your cousin to do her best at whatever college she is attending. And stay in touch when you go to school. If she ever wants to visit, invite her to come to the campus.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a high school teacher, but I look young enough to be a student. I think that because of this, lots of students treat me like I am their friend, not their teacher.

I like to think that I am a progressive teacher, and I love my students and want them to feel comfortable with me. But I also want them to respect me and remember that there are boundaries between us as students and teachers that are not the same as between friends. How do I tell my students this? -- Looking Young, Seattle

DEAR LOOKING YOUNG: It is possible for you to have a congenial relationship with your students that remains professional.

Regarding your appearance, you may want to change your style of dress. Instead of wearing casual clothing (if you do), wear professional attire. That will make you look more mature and will say to the students that you mean business. I advocate for all teachers to dress professionally no matter what their age, because it shows students a style of dressing that they can emulate as they grow up.

Regarding your behavior, you must teach your students to respect you and the boundaries you have created. That means acknowledging them when they behave appropriately and making them suffer consequences when they don't. Constantly let them know what the boundaries are and how they should talk to you and one another. Over time, if you enforce your rules, they will follow.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My friend and I recently got into a fight. She told me I talk about myself too much, but no one else has ever told me that. I thought I had always been a good friend.

How should I handle this situation? Should I try and talk to her or just let it go? -- Talked Out, Jackson, Miss.

DEAR TALKED OUT: You should address this with her, but before you do, take a step back and review your relationship. What is your friend's personality like? Is she a talker? Does she have a lot of issues she likes to talk about? Or is she somewhat shy? Is it hard for her to bring up topics that are on her mind?

The answers to those questions may help you. People who like to talk a lot often feel uncomfortable if the other person in a conversation is also talkative. It can feel like a competition for airtime, even if that's not intentional. If she is not one to speak up, she may find it difficult to get her points out in a conversation because it is hard for her to fill the silent spaces as she thinks about the topic or drums up the courage to make a point. It may be hard for you to notice her timing needs.

It also could be that in a particular conversation you may have talked a lot more than usual without realizing it.

Evaluate your interactions with your friend. Apologize for possibly talking too much and tell her what you think about the matter. Ask her to share why she feels this way. Do your best to listen. Ultimately, tell her your perspective and ask her to talk it out with you.

DEAR HARRIETTE: An acquaintance and I really hit it off recently. He seemed very flirtatious toward me. But I found out he is in a relationship. Even my friends think there's something fishy about this. How can I address the situation without being awkward or rude? -- Confused, Staten Island, N.Y.

DEAR CONFUSED: Next time you see your acquaintance, call him out on his behavior. Tell him that you have enjoyed flirting with him and that you think he's fun. Listen for his response.

Tell him you were surprised to learn he has a girlfriend. Ask him if it's true and what he's looking for from you. Tell him that although you like him very much, you aren't interested in breaking up a couple or flirting with someone who is in a committed relationship. Make it clear that if he is in a relationship, you would prefer that he not flirt with you. That's not your style.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I hate learning about politics. I find everything so repetitive and boring, so I just end up not keeping up at all on current events. This leaves me completely unequipped to participate in a simple conversation about today's state of affairs. I feel stupid not knowing basic things about modern politics, but I just can't bring myself to read the paper or watch the talking heads with any regularity. What should I do? -- Fox Snooze, Staten Island, N.Y.

DEAR FOX SNOOZE: We live in a democracy that exists so that the people can have some dominion over the policies and laws that govern our country. The system needs the people's participation.

I believe it is our responsibility to pay attention to what's going on in our national and local governments so we can insert our voice when needed. Is it always interesting? No. But it's not possible to hold onto the freedoms that we cherish without being willing to pay attention to what's going on in politics. To turn a blind eye to politics completely seems unwise to me.

That said, you don't need to watch all the talking heads or read every newspaper. I recommend that you pay attention to a broad range of media outlets, including foreign sources, so that you can keep abreast of what's happening in our world.

By the way, I believe the reason so many people choose not to pay attention is that they have the luxury of doing so. We live in a relatively safe country with many perks, including the general belief that we will not be in harm's way. Let's not take that for granted.

DEAR HARRIETTE: The gym and I have always had a strained relationship. Recently, however, I gained some momentum and was going nearly every day and working out for an hour. But I got a bad cold and had to stop exercising for about two weeks. Now I can't bring myself to go to the gym. How do I get my momentum back? -- Inert, Shreveport, La.

DEAR INERT: It is tough to restart an exercise regimen, especially if it isn't a natural part of your daily schedule. The good news is that you can drum up the energy to move your body.

If the gym seems too far to reach, wake up and turn on your TV to one of the many exercise programs that come on each morning. Or pop in an exercise DVD and get moving. If you feel like leaving your home, get up a half hour early and take a rigorous walk before starting your day.

Over time, you may find your way back to the gym, but the baby steps you take now will serve you in the future. You can do it. Get up, stretch, move your body. You are worth it!