DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have an unusual, “made-up” first name. Nowadays it’s common for kids to have a uniquely spelled name, but I’m in my 60s, so it wasn't common growing up.

The way I’ve managed it is: I only correct the pronunciation if I expect to see that person again. This way, I’m not constantly feeling rude by correcting everyone. And the next time I see that particular person, they may not remember exactly how to say my name, but they do know there’s something odd there -- so they ask.

GENTLE READER: This is a good guideline for handling a problem that is increasingly common because, as you point out, it has become common now to give babies uncommon names.

There are some good reasons to do this: family names, cultural references, and the unfortunately futile attempt to avoid what turns out to be the fad name of the year. Some years ago, at Miss Manners’ own college, a student working in the housing bureau amused herself by filling a small dormitory with incoming freshmen named Sara or Sarah.

But Miss Manners has also noticed the prevalence of names which are, uh, much too original: weird spellings of otherwise conventional names. Brand names. Aristocratic titles as names. Names of objects. In these cases, originality seems to be the point, rather than an association with the name or an aesthetic.

Prospective parents may have fun devising these names, but they should consider that they are burdening their children with a lifetime of having to explain and correct the usage of their names. It is hurtful to be constantly misaddressed, and not everyone handles it as gracefully as you.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My family is planning a big holiday party, to take place at my club. My son, my daughter and I are each going to invite our friends.

I belong to a women’s club, and I have a lot of friends there, but I do not know many of their husbands. I intend to invite all of the husbands whom I know, just not the ones I have never met. The per person cost for this party will be high, and if I invite all spouses, I could end up spending a lot of money on these strangers (to me).

On the other hand, I know that it is traditional to invite both members of a couple, and many would think it odd or even rude if I excluded their husbands. But I resent having to extend a party invitation to people I do not know.

If I follow through on this plan, will people get mad at me? Will I hurt people’s feelings? Is it so far from decent social norms that I will suffer backlash?

GENTLE READER: Yes, yes and yes.

Miss Manners is amazed that you have any doubt of this. If you were asked to leave your husband to spend a holiday with friends who have no interest in meeting him, even though other husbands are welcome, would you be delighted?

Well, maybe. But it would be sad if you had a whole club full of wives who felt that way.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, gentlereader@missmanners.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: A cousin and his wife, who are close to me, have an annoying habit of click-clicking on their phones while we are talking.

I am about 20 years older than them. I have a background in the arts and culture, and was once known as a trivia whiz, which I don’t publicize. But this couple constantly fact-checks everything I say. And when they "correct" me, they are not always using accurate websites.

I think this is rude, and, as a former editor, I learned a long time ago to keep my mouth shut.

What is the best way to handle this? I am sure others have the same problem.

GENTLE READER: There is no fighting with the internet. Miss Manners suggests you not even try.

What you can do is stop talking while your cousin and his wife are click-clicking, telling them that you will pause while they attend to what must be important.

When they inevitably tell you what it is -- fact-checking -- you may sheepishly say, “I thought we were just having a conversation.” It may not successfully shame them, but it will make you feel a bit better.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I live in a great neighborhood with wonderful neighbors. A few of the ladies in my cul-de-sac have become close: looking out for each other, picking up delivered packages if they’re out of town, bringing back souvenirs from vacations, etc. We also occasionally go out to dinner to celebrate birthdays, special occasions or just because.

While I consider these outings for just our group, one of my neighbors (who is single, as am I) always invites a friend or two of hers to join us. No one else in the group does this.

The other women she invites are always pleasant and engaging, so I'm not sure why her doing this bothers me. I haven’t brought this up to her or my other neighbors.

Is her behavior bad manners, and should I be miffed?

GENTLE READER: It bothers you, Miss Manners is guessing, because these outings are a chance for the neighborhood ladies to bond and connect. If members of the group are going to invite just anyone, who will be next? Husbands? Dates?!

Of course, as these intruders happen to be pleasant and engaging, you could look at this as an opportunity to make new friends. Or you could be miffed because what you really want to do is gossip about the new mail person and exchange neighborhood secrets.

If it miffs you enough, Miss Manners suggests you say to your friend, “Lacey and Hannah were adorable. I would love to get to know them better. I just feel bad that they will be left out if we start talking about neighborhood stuff. Maybe we could get together with them in a different context?”

But please have this conversation with her before approaching the other neighbors, lest your friend becomes the new subject of neighborhood gossip -- or before you do, if your opinion is in the minority.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, gentlereader@missmanners.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: When my mother passed away some years ago, my brother and his wife placed a stuffed black cat toy in her casket. My mother had owned several black cats.

Months later, I was opening a Christmas gift from my brother. It turned out to be a stuffed black cat. He said, "Do you know where that came from?" Of course I knew! My mouth dropped open.

Miss Manners, was this absolutely the worst Christmas gift ever, or am I missing something? I don’t understand how anyone could gift something that had been in a casket. Am I overly sensitive?

GENTLE READER: Back up. Miss Manners needs some clarification on the mechanics of this.

She is presuming that the casket was not closed at the visitation, and that your brother and his wife grabbed the cat before it became so? Please do not tell her that they dug up a grave.

Of course, neither scenario is appealing, and it is not surprising that anyone would be sensitive about it, to say the least. No one would blame you if you hid the toy cat in the back of a closet, never to be seen again.

Miss Manners only asks that you resist the temptation to pass it back to them at the next holiday, playing a twisted game of “not it” by way of revenge.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have several nieces and nephews I adore. While they were growing up, I always sent a birthday card, even if there was no family birthday celebration.

I would add a check for a modest financial gift up until their 21st birthday, after which I would simply send a card and a text. Some nieces and nephews now have children of their own, so I send cards and money to them.

None of my siblings or siblings-in-law send birthday cards, to my knowledge, unless there’s a party. I guess I do this because I want to let my nieces and nephews know I love them and they are important to me. I want to make them feel a little special on their birthday, and express a closeness to my extended family. It makes me feel good to do so.

Now, though, it occurs to me that it’s possible these cards may make people feel uncomfortable. Especially when there’s money in them, and especially when the gift goes to their little children. I wouldn’t want them to be uncomfortable or embarrassed. What is your take on this, please?

GENTLE READER: That having already renewed the tradition, it is going to be tricky to stop now. Your grandnieces and -nephews may wonder why suddenly you do not want them to feel special.

To be clear, Miss Manners has never liked sending money as a present. But the thought of a young child who has been used to receiving a check in her card, shaking it up and down and wondering if she did something wrong, is too much for even her glacial heart to bear.

She therefore suggests you continue the tradition until they turn 18 or 21. If it helps, virtually no one except Miss Manners gets uncomfortable or embarrassed by receiving money -- and your relatives will no doubt appreciate you continuing the gesture for their children, putting the money away for their future expenses.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, gentlereader@missmanners.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)