DEAR MISS MANNERS: What is a polite way to refuse a hug with friends or strangers? What to do when my proffered handshake is batted away and a hug pursued instead?

Some men, especially, seem to want to hug me because of my large chest, and it seems more like sexual assault than a friendly gesture. And there are certain women (whom I do not consider friends) who have behaved badly to me in the past, and I do not want them to touch me.

Is the advice the same in either case? And what about when they chase me?

GENTLE READER: Run.

No friendly gesture should come at the cost of personal safety. If your proffered hand is batted away, step back quickly and do a little bow (to get some distance between you), and then mutter by way of explanation, “Something is going around and I don’t want you to catch it.”

Miss Manners will leave it to your discretion to tell these people that that “something” is their salacious behavior.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: As a preteen, I was told by someone that it was rude to eat one food on my plate at a time -- that I was supposed to move around my plate, eating bites of each item in succession.

I like enjoying all of one food before moving on. The only thing I can liken it to is watching a TV show, and someone changes the channel in the middle of it. I want to finish the show I’m watching before moving on to the next.

The day I was told this, I made a silent vow to myself that I would always eat one food at a time, the way I prefer. But I’m wondering if you have ever heard of the rule this person was trying to impose on me.

I would think it’s rude to surveil other people's eating, but then, this person was still trying to do this when I was in my 60s. I am no longer in this person’s life, but the question has nagged at me for decades. Who was right?

GENTLE READER: You.

Even Miss Manners does not have opinions on the order in which you eat your dinner -- and certainly would never monitor it.

As long as you are not trying to consume the bread bowl before the soup or making similarly chaotic choices, she supports your decisions -- both on how you choose to eat and for distancing yourself from this nagging person.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: We were out to dinner with another couple, and my wife became horrified when I took the final sip of my cocktail, along with an ice cube, and then proceeded to return the ice cube to the glass.

The final sip is the best sip! Is this so horrible?

GENTLE READER: Yes.

By all means, take that final sip. But Miss Manners will have to insist that you find a way to do so without the ice coming back up naked.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, gentlereader@missmanners.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I was taught by my mother and grandmother, who practiced what they preached, that condolence letters are to be acknowledged.

Their practice was to answer every condolence letter with a return letter. It could be long or short, but at the very least it should express gratitude for the sender’s thoughtfulness.

I have followed their practice throughout the decades, and I have found that writing acknowledgment letters has been very helpful to me as I have coped with the grief of losing important friends or family members.

In recent years, however, I have not received any acknowledgment for condolence letters that I have sent. I make it a point to write something thoughtful, including a memory of the deceased and a statement of my appreciation of him or her. I would never send a preprinted, store-bought condolence card.

Should I just face the fact that most people simply don’t write acknowledgments anymore? I’d like to tell them that doing so might help them in their grieving process.

It is also a thoughtful gesture to acknowledge thoughtful gestures, right?

GENTLE READER: Yes, but Miss Manners does not recommend you tell them that. Besides it being an admonishment, it will not help your cause if they disagree.

But if it makes you feel better, you are correct. Condolence letters should be acknowledged, assuring those who care that their appreciation of the deceased and sympathy for the bereaved was meaningful.

Doing so can also offer comfort in recognizing the importance of the life that was lost.

Or not. But it is still the correct thing to do.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Sometimes I am served something I don’t want to eat, like meat with fat or gristle. I trim my portion and move the trash to the side of my plate -- inconspicuously, I hope.

Once, though, I was served peas that had coarse strings that hadn’t been removed. So I removed them before eating each one.

Is leaving a pile of debris offensive to the hosts or other diners? Does it imply that the cook was sloppy?

GENTLE READER: Perhaps, but it is preferable to choking slowly on pea strings.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My neighbors have several gatherings a year, and they are always potlucks. If the invitation says, "Bring a dish to share and a bottle of wine," then I am happy to do so.

However, I’m single, and I have noticed that the couples and families also bring only one dish and one bottle of wine. Am I being petty to think this is unfair?

GENTLE READER: Etiquette is not in the business of making everything exactly fair. Unless things are overtly unfair, it is more polite not to notice.

Since the point of the potluck is to share, it feels unseemly to count exact portions. (Perhaps the families do not eat or drink much.) Miss Manners therefore suggests you overlook this injustice and save your annoyance for all of the other ways single people are disadvantaged, inconvenienced and charged more in our society.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, gentlereader@missmanners.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My fiance and I have chosen not to register for gifts. Not only do we wish to do what is proper, but we already live together in a tiny apartment and have neither the need nor the space for additional housekeeping items.

Nor do we wish to crassly solicit money from our guests. And since the wedding is in my fiance's small, remote hometown, which is not easy to travel to, we would genuinely be pleased with and grateful for our guests’ presence, let alone any presents (overused as that phrase may be).

What do we say to guests who inquire about a registry? “We are not registered” feels too blunt, but is adding “Thank you for asking” presumptuous?

I also worry that guests will expect to find registry information on our wedding website, which we have found to be a useful tool for sharing details about hotel blocks and travel. Would it be appropriate to add a note on the site that we are not registered? I could imagine guests waiting for a registry tab to pop up, only for them to feel wrong-footed when one never does.

GENTLE READER: Stop fidgeting, dear.

The website is fine, and saying you are not registered in answer to a question is not blunt if delivered with a smile -- or without, if the same relative is asking for the fifth time.

Now, Miss Manners has a word for the relatives and other guests:

Could you please stop harassing the couple about a registry? They say they have enough stuff and only want the pleasure of your company, which ought to be easy enough to understand.

If you feel compelled to send something anyway, then yes, you will have to spend a few minutes thinking about what they might like. If that is too much trouble, could you at least keep those feelings to yourselves?

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I was dealing with someone who was complaining about a political situation, which he said made him feel very sad and scared. I replied, sincerely, that I was sorry he felt so bad about the situation and I hoped he felt better soon.

Then he complained about “people who say they’re sorry but are really insincere.”

Was there any way to express my sympathy for how bad he felt without agreeing with his view of the political situation?

GENTLE READER: There is, and you already did it. The best way to avoid a fight with someone who appears to be seeking one is not to worry yourself about subtext.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: When attending family events, what is the polite way to decline posing for photos that end up being posted on social media sites without my permission?

People used to put photos in their albums at home, but now they are posted indiscriminately, and it really bothers me. If I want my photo on social media, I’ll post it. Not someone else.

GENTLE READER: Offer to be the photographer.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, gentlereader@missmanners.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)