DEAR MISS MANNERS: I would like to know if there are some alternative phrases to use when someone shares various degrees of bad news.

I know that “I’m sorry to hear ...” is a colloquial way to express one’s sympathies, but I would like to express myself in a way that feels less apologetic. I know for death-related news, I can use “My condolences,” but that seems excessive for less intense events.

What can I say when someone shares that they are sick (not deathly ill), had a breakup or just had a generally rough day?

GENTLE READER: You are not apologizing when you say you are sorry that your friend is in a sorry state, feeling sorry for the things he said during the breakup. You are expressing your distress that he is in a pitiful way -- which perhaps he would not be had he not behaved so regrettably that no apology will mend the damage.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am new to an organization and met one of the members for an event. She took my arm and took me from table to table, introducing me to about 25 people. That was unhelpful to me because I’d never remember all the names, but I think it was well-intentioned.

Later, she apparently didn’t like the topic being discussed by our part of the group; I believe she is hard of hearing and didn’t realize how loudly she was saying “This is SO boring” and things like that. I suggested that we leave, and we did.

Since then, I have had some unwelcome looks from those who were there and saw us. How should I have handled being taken from table to table? How should I handle chilly reactions from people I meet in the future?

GENTLE READER: It will depend on how convincingly, and charmingly, you can dissociate yourself from this person.

Reintroducing yourself by saying, “I just met Miss Jenna last time and she evidently wanted to present me around,” will be more believable if Jenna is not your sister, your sponsor or your ride home.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I was quite perturbed to receive a birthday card that had clearly been sent to my friend and then reused and sent to me.

The card had a large plain white label taped over the first sender's signature, which evidently could not be completely erased, and was then signed anew. I understand the need for recycling and being environmentally conscious, but still, this seemed to be a breach of basic etiquette.

While I am grateful that the friend sent me birthday wishes, am I wrong to be insulted that I did not merit a card that was thoughtfully selected for me -- and unused?

GENTLE READER: But did she spell your name right? It seems to Miss Manners that your friend already lost the claim to be demonstrating enormous interest when she jettisoned an actual letter in favor of a preprinted card. The rest is merely a matter of degree.

She does not therefore agree that you should go so far as to be insulted -- only measured in your gratitude.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Near the end of an international overnight flight, I joined the line for the lavatory. Listening to the many comments going around, I learned that someone had been occupying the lavatory for a very long time.

After a while, a lady did exit, and it was clear that most of the time spent inside had been spent on a very complicated hairdo and similar makeup.

Would it have been rude to mention to her that an aircraft lavatory is not a beauty salon?

GENTLE READER: Understanding that it was a long flight, Miss Manners still asks: Are you in doubt about the matter?

If the wait was exceptionally long, you could, while the bathroom was still occupied, have sought the assistance of a flight attendant on the theory that the passenger might be in distress. But before you made too much of a nuisance of yourself, Miss Manners would have reminded you that you were still locked in an airplane -- with both the lady in the bathroom and the flight attendant.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: One of my closest childhood friends is getting married this fall. We still keep in touch regularly.

She has told me about all of the details, sent pictures of the dress, even apologized for her wedding date being on my birthday. I’ve told her that I don’t mind (this is not the first time it’s happened) and that I am still incredibly excited to celebrate with her and her soon-to-be husband.

The issue is that I have yet to receive an invitation or even a save-the-date. If this was a local wedding, I wouldn’t be concerned, but we now live on opposite sides of the country. I need to book a flight and a hotel before travel costs are sky-high.

Is there any way to politely ask about my invitation status?

GENTLE READER: How many times has your friend gotten married on your birthday?

No, Miss Manners supposes you mean that this is not the first year you have spent your birthday celebrating an unrelated event. In any case, the next time your friend talks to you about the wedding, ask a related question, such as, "When are you sending out the invitations?"

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I attended a surprise retirement party for a dear colleague, with approximately 20-25 people in attendance. About halfway through the event, before the toast for the guest of honor, I excused myself, as I had to pick up my daughter from a school function.

I said my goodbyes to several people, including my colleague and her husband. As I was walking to my car, I received a call from my daughter stating that she had made other arrangements, and I did not need to pick her up.

I had been gone from the party for no more than two minutes. Not knowing whether it was proper to return, I went home. What would have been the correct way to handle this?

GENTLE READER: It is not often that Miss Manners can say, as she does now, that both choices -- returning or continuing home -- were equally polite.

You were therefore free to make your choice based on how entertaining you felt the rest of the party was likely to be -- and how interesting the book on your bedside table.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: How does one handle people who constantly talk over and interrupt you, telling the same old stories over and over again? They might even preface the stories with, “I know I've told you this story before.”

If and when the interrupter eventually says, “Oh, what were you saying?” I’ve started replying, “I forget.” They only launch into another talking marathon.

Has the art of conversation completely disappeared? What can one do to deal with these situations without being rude?

GENTLE READER: It is one of the costs of intimacy to listen to repeated stories. Extra credit if you remind someone to tell a favorite story to a new audience, and then act as if you have never heard it before. And in the case of those with serious memory problems, it is a kindness to keep appearing to listen.

But Miss Manners does not lack sympathy for the beleaguered listener. What you can say, whether asked or not, is, “Oh, yes! That’s a wonderful story.” Sad to say, the speaker does not always smile and desist.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am 82 years old. A new acquaintance, a woman about 70, recently saw some photos in my home of the younger me. She asked, “As an old woman, is it difficult for you, having been beautiful?”

I ignored the question and she didn’t pursue it. For the record: I was never beautiful, but I was photogenic, and as a professional in the fashion and beauty industry, I made the most of my looks.

What should I have replied?

GENTLE READER: “Why? Are you finding it difficult to be beautiful?”

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Is it appropriate to send a handwritten note of condolence to my old college beau who lost his wife to cancer?

I thought that someone who once meant a great deal to me would appreciate a kind note of acknowledgement for his loss, though we’ve of course not corresponded for many years. However, the mutual friend who told me the news jeeringly said, when I mentioned sending a condolence note, “No one wants to hear from an old girlfriend!” (Emphasis on "old.")

I admit to being taken aback. My college sweetheart and I were very close for a number of years, so long ago.

GENTLE READER: What your friend is suggesting, not nicely, is that your former beau will interpret this as, “I see you are single now. Remember me?”

But people do want to hear from their old contacts of all kinds. That is one of the prime uses of social media. (Well, that and showing off in the hopes of impressing acquaintances, both old and new.)

You could mention a husband or partner if you think your condolences might be taken amiss. But Miss Manners urges you not to stifle a kindness out of such a fear.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I get a little bothered when unmarried people call their partner’s mother their mother-in-law. I assume the phrase "in law" means "by legal marriage." Am I wrong in my assumption?

GENTLE READER: Would you prefer mother-outlaw?

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)