DEAR MISS MANNERS: My mother-in-law works for a company by ordering products and shipping things out. For several years, I've noticed she will spend the company's money on herself. She pays for shipping her Christmas gifts with the company account, and her house is furnished with their "damaged goods."

I've mentioned to her that I thought she could get in trouble if they caught her, but she is a fierce know-it-all type. The more it happens, the less I like her. What she does is simply wrong, and I don't know how to look the other way.

Do I need to just turn my head, or is it OK to reach out to her company?

GENTLE READER: As your mother-in-law is on a crime spree, the legal and moral arguments for turning her in are readily apparent. You are therefore, presumably, asking Miss Manners for the etiquette.

The etiquette is that, if you do choose to report your mother-in-law, you should express a moral conflict about coming forward that you may not actually feel. Of course, the person you should really be speaking with is your spouse, who may have their own opinion on the best course of action -- presuming this behavior does not run in the family.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Over 10 years ago, I held a leadership position on a not-for-profit arts organization's board. One of my fellow board leaders was an older man who publicly presented himself as a nice person, but was very critical and downright mean to me in private. He once ripped me up and down in a phone call about board business.

Since leaving the board after my term expired, I have avoided being in his presence, as our paths don't normally cross. I'm now advising a group of graduate students in a consulting project, and he is an adviser to their client.

He will certainly attend the students' final presentation, and I will have to acknowledge his presence. But I cannot bring myself to say, "Nice to see you," as nothing could be further from the truth.

The presentation may be held online, in which case I may be able to avoid an awkward encounter, aside from the obligatory around-the-table intros. But I would love to hear your suggestions (other than a simple, "Hello, Fred") if the meeting is in person.

GENTLE READER: All of Miss Manners' suggestions will be variations on "Hello, Fred," which seems entirely serviceable to her.

As the problems with this man only arose in private, she will just add "Goodbye, Fred" -- in the instance that a one-on-one encounter seems likely.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My grandkids appear not to have been taught never to talk with their mouths full. How should I approach the parents on this subject in order to save their otherwise marvelous kids embarrassment in the future?

GENTLE READER: As you have not ruled out embarrassing these children in the present, Miss Manners recommends dispensing with the middlemen. Complain gently that you cannot understand them when they speak while chewing.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Three years into the pandemic, I have been lucky to have had just two close calls with COVID, both while traveling for work. Otherwise, I am quite good about wearing a mask whenever I am indoors.

In both cases, I was exposed while dining with the infected person, who may have been asymptomatic at the time of the meal. On the first occasion, the exposure required me to reroute my return trip, at some inconvenience. On the second occasion, I contracted COVID and had to isolate in a hotel room for nearly a week before flying home.

I was disappointed that in neither case did the person offer an apology.

Is a person who likely transmitted COVID to another person obliged to apologize for doing so? Or are we at a point where people have given up fighting the disease and feel no obligation toward others?

GENTLE READER: Or have they just given up apologizing, on the grounds that it implies guilt?

Of course, these individuals did not intend to give you COVID. Being asymptomatic, they may have felt they had taken reasonable precautions.

But equally of course, they should be sorry that they infected you. Very sorry, and very apologetic. Even if they did not know about having given it to you, they should have been in touch with anyone they might have exposed.

People seem to have the notion that saying "I'm sorry" is an admission of guilt that might be used against them (when actually, apologies have been known to head off lawsuits). The word "sorry" is now so connected with the idea of purposeful wrongdoing that people who express sympathy to the bereaved are sometimes asked, "Why are you sorry? It's not your fault."

It is too bad, because apologies help smooth the rough parts of life. Miss Manners hopes you feel better -- physically, if not about society.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: How can we offer ways to give wedding gifts without implying that they are expected?

My daughter's fiance comes from a different country. Most of his parents' friends and family will not be able to attend the wedding, but have requested instructions for gift-giving. Registries are not common where we live, and cash gifts are the norm. Mailing checks in a different currency is not practical.

We will be sending a streaming link to all those who cannot attend, and we have considered that this email would also be a useful place to point out how gifts can be sent, for those who wish to do so. We have received such links in the past, and frankly, it's a convenient way to send cash gifts: no fear of checks being stolen, lost, deposited late, etc. But it still feels wrong to suggest it.

Is there any phrasing that makes it clear that there is no expectation of a gift, but that those who are moved to give one can avail themselves of a convenient link -- one that will work in their country and ensure the gift is received by the happy couple abroad?

GENTLE READER: Yes. Give instructions only to those who have asked for them.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I try to be friendly and courteous when hailed or greeted by strangers, and I try to listen respectfully to their tales of days gone by. But I do begin to tire at the third or fourth iteration of the same story, and I begin to chafe at the forced camaraderie.

In one encounter, I was enjoying an adult beverage at a favorite establishment when I was hailed by a gentleman admiring both my jacket and my walking cane. Feeling flattered, I thanked him for the compliments and provided a very brief anecdote about each item. I thought he might enjoy that, be on his way and leave me to the correspondence in which I had been engaged.

Instead, I was treated to a Twice-Told Tale, and then a Thrice-and-Beyond telling of the same tale, regarding the incidents that led to his own mobility issues. I empathized and sympathized, briefly recounted my own disabling incident, thanked him once again for saying hello, and attempted to turn back to my correspondence.

This prompted yet another retelling, until I finally mumbled my thanks once again, explained that my correspondent was probably thinking I had ghosted him, and simply turned away.

Might Miss Manners be able to suggest a graceful but effective way of extricating myself from a conversation that bears a closer resemblance to "The Neverending Story"?

GENTLE READER: You met the Ancient Mariner! Miss Manners wondered what had become of him.

As you will recall from high school English -- what? "The Rime of the Ancient Mariner" is no longer required reading? Is it because Mr. Coleridge was likely on opium when he wrote it? (Medical opium, of course.) Or perhaps because readers too readily identified with the Wedding Guest who is trying desperately to break away from a bore with an endlessly repeated tale?

As Miss Manners does recall, the message was tolerance of all creatures, including bores -- as well as albatrosses.

She is therefore pleased that you listened politely, as long as could have been reasonably expected, to someone who was both lonely and forgetful, and then provided a decent excuse to stop.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am a rather tall lady, and when making new acquaintances, I am often asked if I play basketball.

While I realize that people are trying to make conversation, I find it annoying and tedious to explain every time that my height has absolutely nothing to do with my athletic ability. I have never played basketball, nor am I particularly into sports in general.

It's nearly to the point where I dread meeting new people because I know this question is inevitably going to be asked. If I'm feeling particularly annoyed, I have occasionally replied with, "No. Do you play mini golf?"

I realize that while it may be a bit funny, this probably isn't a good way to respond. How do I gracefully answer this question I can't seem to avoid?

GENTLE READER: Although she has heard that one before, Miss Manners takes into account how many more times you have heard the stupid remark that prompted it.

Having considered the first remark to be acceptable, the offender is obliged to accept the version that mirrors it.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)