DEAR MISS MANNERS: Three years into the pandemic, I have been lucky to have had just two close calls with COVID, both while traveling for work. Otherwise, I am quite good about wearing a mask whenever I am indoors.

In both cases, I was exposed while dining with the infected person, who may have been asymptomatic at the time of the meal. On the first occasion, the exposure required me to reroute my return trip, at some inconvenience. On the second occasion, I contracted COVID and had to isolate in a hotel room for nearly a week before flying home.

I was disappointed that in neither case did the person offer an apology.

Is a person who likely transmitted COVID to another person obliged to apologize for doing so? Or are we at a point where people have given up fighting the disease and feel no obligation toward others?

GENTLE READER: Or have they just given up apologizing, on the grounds that it implies guilt?

Of course, these individuals did not intend to give you COVID. Being asymptomatic, they may have felt they had taken reasonable precautions.

But equally of course, they should be sorry that they infected you. Very sorry, and very apologetic. Even if they did not know about having given it to you, they should have been in touch with anyone they might have exposed.

People seem to have the notion that saying "I'm sorry" is an admission of guilt that might be used against them (when actually, apologies have been known to head off lawsuits). The word "sorry" is now so connected with the idea of purposeful wrongdoing that people who express sympathy to the bereaved are sometimes asked, "Why are you sorry? It's not your fault."

It is too bad, because apologies help smooth the rough parts of life. Miss Manners hopes you feel better -- physically, if not about society.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: How can we offer ways to give wedding gifts without implying that they are expected?

My daughter's fiance comes from a different country. Most of his parents' friends and family will not be able to attend the wedding, but have requested instructions for gift-giving. Registries are not common where we live, and cash gifts are the norm. Mailing checks in a different currency is not practical.

We will be sending a streaming link to all those who cannot attend, and we have considered that this email would also be a useful place to point out how gifts can be sent, for those who wish to do so. We have received such links in the past, and frankly, it's a convenient way to send cash gifts: no fear of checks being stolen, lost, deposited late, etc. But it still feels wrong to suggest it.

Is there any phrasing that makes it clear that there is no expectation of a gift, but that those who are moved to give one can avail themselves of a convenient link -- one that will work in their country and ensure the gift is received by the happy couple abroad?

GENTLE READER: Yes. Give instructions only to those who have asked for them.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I try to be friendly and courteous when hailed or greeted by strangers, and I try to listen respectfully to their tales of days gone by. But I do begin to tire at the third or fourth iteration of the same story, and I begin to chafe at the forced camaraderie.

In one encounter, I was enjoying an adult beverage at a favorite establishment when I was hailed by a gentleman admiring both my jacket and my walking cane. Feeling flattered, I thanked him for the compliments and provided a very brief anecdote about each item. I thought he might enjoy that, be on his way and leave me to the correspondence in which I had been engaged.

Instead, I was treated to a Twice-Told Tale, and then a Thrice-and-Beyond telling of the same tale, regarding the incidents that led to his own mobility issues. I empathized and sympathized, briefly recounted my own disabling incident, thanked him once again for saying hello, and attempted to turn back to my correspondence.

This prompted yet another retelling, until I finally mumbled my thanks once again, explained that my correspondent was probably thinking I had ghosted him, and simply turned away.

Might Miss Manners be able to suggest a graceful but effective way of extricating myself from a conversation that bears a closer resemblance to "The Neverending Story"?

GENTLE READER: You met the Ancient Mariner! Miss Manners wondered what had become of him.

As you will recall from high school English -- what? "The Rime of the Ancient Mariner" is no longer required reading? Is it because Mr. Coleridge was likely on opium when he wrote it? (Medical opium, of course.) Or perhaps because readers too readily identified with the Wedding Guest who is trying desperately to break away from a bore with an endlessly repeated tale?

As Miss Manners does recall, the message was tolerance of all creatures, including bores -- as well as albatrosses.

She is therefore pleased that you listened politely, as long as could have been reasonably expected, to someone who was both lonely and forgetful, and then provided a decent excuse to stop.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am a rather tall lady, and when making new acquaintances, I am often asked if I play basketball.

While I realize that people are trying to make conversation, I find it annoying and tedious to explain every time that my height has absolutely nothing to do with my athletic ability. I have never played basketball, nor am I particularly into sports in general.

It's nearly to the point where I dread meeting new people because I know this question is inevitably going to be asked. If I'm feeling particularly annoyed, I have occasionally replied with, "No. Do you play mini golf?"

I realize that while it may be a bit funny, this probably isn't a good way to respond. How do I gracefully answer this question I can't seem to avoid?

GENTLE READER: Although she has heard that one before, Miss Manners takes into account how many more times you have heard the stupid remark that prompted it.

Having considered the first remark to be acceptable, the offender is obliged to accept the version that mirrors it.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I've heard a few people using the phrase "Don't you want to ..." as a way to disguise nosy, unsolicited opinions. For instance:

"Don't you want to stop renting that apartment and just buy a house?"

"Since you've adopted two children, don't you want to have a biological one?"

"Don't you want to take a break from working and just travel for a while?"

None of these are my own situation, but I find this tactic irritating. A person would already be doing (or attempting) these things if they wanted to and were able to.

If pointing out this rudeness in others is rude, what is the appropriate response?

GENTLE READER: "Of course we thought about that ..." and then let the sentence trail off, along with your ever-so-slightly condescending expression.

Miss Manners warns you not to be surprised when your busybody friends follow up with, "Don't you want to finish that sentence?"

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am a terrible gardener. Fifteen years ago, I planted an avocado tree. It lost all the fruit immediately, and it was more than 10 years before it grew more. Three avocados, to be exact.

In the years since, the tree has yielded a few more avocados each season, sometimes as many as nine or 10. I count them when they appear, and look forward to enjoying one avocado a week for nine or 10 weeks, picking them accordingly.

One friend asked for an avocado. I did not want to give up one of my few fruits, but I did anyway. Knowing the peculiarities of my avocados, I warned her that she should wait at least two weeks before cutting into it.

She didn't do this. Instead, she cut it open when she believed she had waited long enough, and found it unripe. She threw it away, thereby wasting one of my precious treats.

When another acquaintance asked me about the fruit, I said vaguely, "There aren't very many." She begged me for one anyway. I fear the same thing will happen, although I will not ask about it.

I'm sorry to be stingy, but is there a polite way to say no to people who ask me for this fruit?

GENTLE READER: "I am afraid that my gardening skills are lacking and the fruit from my tree is barely edible. When both my tree and I get better at this, I will be happy to share."

And then, Miss Manners suggests, you enjoy your one piece a week with the shades drawn.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: What is your opinion on replying to a compliment with "I know"? My children have tried to assure me it is the appropriate response for the new generation, but it rankles me every time. Has "thank you" really gone out of fashion?

GENTLE READER: Amusingly, this approach may be an overcorrection of the equally irksome response -- "No, I look terrible!" -- some older generations had adopted.

Miss Manners assures you that neither brazen confirmation nor self-deprecating denial is necessary when given a compliment. "Thank you" is the only proper response, fashionable or not. It is timeless.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)