DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am a small-animal veterinarian. Often, when people hear of my career, they coo, "Oh, I wanted to be a vet too, but I'm just too tenderhearted." Sometimes they'll follow up with a horrified whisper: "All that euthanasia! How can you do it? Don't you feel horrible?"

Miss M, this makes me feel like a monster. I am proud to be able to offer animals a good death and end their suffering. When people call me to euthanize their pets, they are desperate. They've seen their best friend go downhill in a hurry. They are often emotional wrecks, and their gratitude for my service is clear and genuine.

Yes, I am morally comfortable assisting people to say goodbye, and helping their beloved pets over the edge into the great unknown, or rainbow bridge, or chance at reincarnation, or whatever awaits them. But I am wounded by comments like these.

Please don't say I'm too sensitive ... the hypothetical person I'm talking with has just said I succeeded in becoming a vet because I am insensitive.

Can you offer an appropriate response that I can whip out in a hurry? I don't want to be insulting, but I do want folks to see how their insensitive remarks sting.

GENTLE READER: After thanking them for the insult, Miss Manners presumes.

"I can assure you it is never easy to euthanize. But the alternative is far crueler."

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Is slurping your hot coffee rude?

GENTLE READER: Yes. And very likely painful.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I'm unsure about the most respectful and polite way to refer to my late grandmother's partner.

She and my grandmother had been together for around 20 years when my grandmother passed away. While they never married, even after the marriage equality act passed, they wore rings. I still considered their relationship as serious and committed as any marriage.

I have only ever called her by her first name, which is consistent with how I refer to my grandfather's wife, so calling her "my grandmother" sounds strange to me, and referring to her as "my step-grandmother" feels cold and detached.

I've been simply calling her "my grandmother's partner," but then for some reason I feel the need to clarify that my grandmother has since passed, possibly to give a little more context to our relationship.

She's been a part of my family for most of my life, so she pops up in a lot of stories from my childhood and current vacations, and I want to be able to explain her role in my life without tripping over long explanations or dredging up the feelings of loss from my grandmother's passing.

Because my grandfather is still alive, I don't feel the same conundrum when referring to his wife -- she's simply called "my grandfather's wife."

Am I overcomplicating this?

GENTLE READER: Yes.

The word you are looking for is "late." As in my "late grandmother's partner." Miss Manners is aware that some listeners may confuse this for a business relationship, but then you can always follow up by saying, "romantic partner."

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: With work-related social events happening again in person, I will likely face unwanted attention over my beverage selection. I very rarely consume alcohol because of its unpleasant aftereffects on me (even from small quantities).

Almost inevitably in group settings, I'll be asked what I'm drinking -- and I don't want to draw attention to my own boring story of drinking habits nor be a killjoy to the merriment of others.

I've tried brightly responding "sparkling water" or "the Nogroni" (non-alcoholic Negroni). In most cases, this response allows the conversation to move on. But every so often there is a further inquiry that feels hard to shut down gracefully.

I know I can count on Miss Manners to offer a gracious yet snappy response to inquiries about nearly anything; does she have any suggestions for questions about alcohol (non-) consumption?

GENTLE READER: Gracious? Yes. Snappy? No.

Most clever responses come off as either insulting or admonishing. Better to stick with something simple -- and repeat it as often as necessary.

Miss Manners would have thought that for all the reasons not to drink -- including the most recent and amusing trend of being "sober-curious" -- people would have learned to mind their business. But she supposes that if they did, she would be put out of hers.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am a 40-year-old single mother of twin girls who are 15 months old. After years of saving, I am proud to be in the process of purchasing a home in a great public school district.

I want to host a 2-year-old birthday party for my twins in my new home, but I would also like to make it a (slash) housewarming party.

Is there any credible way to send invitations announcing a 2-year-old birthday party and also a housewarming? And would it be odd to ask for gift cards for the housewarming on the invitation?

GENTLE READER: What would the invitation say? "The twins are expecting presents and so am I"?

Miss Manners is afraid that there is no way to express this sentiment politely. But if you can create a sizable gap between the girls' birthday and possession of your home, Miss Manners will allow two separate parties with their purposes clearly stated. As long as no solicitation for presents -- including gift cards -- accompanies either one of them.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am sometimes called upon by various companies to provide consultations during meetings with several people. Because I am not familiar with the buildings, I generally arrive early enough to be the first person in the conference room.

Do I stand up when greeting the other participants, or do I stay seated? (I'm currently pregnant, not sure if that makes any difference.)

GENTLE READER: In general, standing up in this circumstance is polite. But whether it makes a difference if you are pregnant will depend on your relative speediness. If it is lacking, Miss Manners suggests you perfect the "I would, but this" look. It will come in handy over the next few months.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I frequent a pub daily. All ages and types of people gather at this venue. It is family-friendly.

The problem is the jukebox. It blasts songs that use curse words and clearly state acts of violence and degradation. These blare during all hours of business.

I asked the owner to please do something about it. She was wonderful. She put a filter on the jukebox, so we didn't have to keep listening to this loud, degrading music.

The problem is, now I have a whole group of haters that are angry at having their choice of music taken from them.

My response has always been that everyone has the right to enjoy their time at that venue without disturbing lyrics loudly blasting away. I still get haters and anger. Is it possible to provide another reply that is polite that might work?

GENTLE READER: One is told to be magnanimous in victory, but what you really need to be is absent -- if not literally, at least figuratively.

If you are asked directly about what happened (but not otherwise), Miss Manners recommends: "I completely understand. It's just that the lyrics to some of those songs drive away the families and children -- and they are such a big part of a family-friendly business."

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Due to age and handicap, I am no longer able to do many housekeeping chores. I have moved into a condo and will be hiring a woman to come in once or twice a month to do those things I am no longer able to do. What do I do while she is cleaning? In warm weather, I can sit outside, but what about bad weather?

GENTLE READER: If you cannot be away from home, stay out from underfoot.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Could you please help me with grocery store behavior, specifically when to stop, yield and go?

Most grocery stores and some others are set up in a grid, with the perimeter aisle being the largest and, in my opinion, the main thoroughfare that gets the right of way. When I come out of an inner aisle, I always yield and make sure the coast is clear before entering the outer aisle.

I find most people don't reciprocate, don't pay attention, sometimes ram into my cart, and simply look at me with an addlepated, moronic stare. This is a thing -- so much so that the Japanese have convex mirrors at the end of interior aisles, to see oncoming traffic. So, Miss Manners, I'd like you to weigh in on this subject.

GENTLE READER: It has been a few years since Miss Manners attended driver's education, but she agrees that the etiquette has much in common with right-of-way, starting with both being frequently misunderstood.

Right-of-way means that the driver on the main roadway (your larger aisle) is not expected to slow down in anticipation of someone emerging from a side street (aisle); it is the side-street driver's responsibility to look for an opening before entering the main thoroughfare.

But, as with driving, both parties have a responsibility to avoid a collision -- which is more difficult to do when either or both parties are speeding past the low-cal section.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)