DEAR MISS MANNERS: I frequent a pub daily. All ages and types of people gather at this venue. It is family-friendly.

The problem is the jukebox. It blasts songs that use curse words and clearly state acts of violence and degradation. These blare during all hours of business.

I asked the owner to please do something about it. She was wonderful. She put a filter on the jukebox, so we didn't have to keep listening to this loud, degrading music.

The problem is, now I have a whole group of haters that are angry at having their choice of music taken from them.

My response has always been that everyone has the right to enjoy their time at that venue without disturbing lyrics loudly blasting away. I still get haters and anger. Is it possible to provide another reply that is polite that might work?

GENTLE READER: One is told to be magnanimous in victory, but what you really need to be is absent -- if not literally, at least figuratively.

If you are asked directly about what happened (but not otherwise), Miss Manners recommends: "I completely understand. It's just that the lyrics to some of those songs drive away the families and children -- and they are such a big part of a family-friendly business."

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Due to age and handicap, I am no longer able to do many housekeeping chores. I have moved into a condo and will be hiring a woman to come in once or twice a month to do those things I am no longer able to do. What do I do while she is cleaning? In warm weather, I can sit outside, but what about bad weather?

GENTLE READER: If you cannot be away from home, stay out from underfoot.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Could you please help me with grocery store behavior, specifically when to stop, yield and go?

Most grocery stores and some others are set up in a grid, with the perimeter aisle being the largest and, in my opinion, the main thoroughfare that gets the right of way. When I come out of an inner aisle, I always yield and make sure the coast is clear before entering the outer aisle.

I find most people don't reciprocate, don't pay attention, sometimes ram into my cart, and simply look at me with an addlepated, moronic stare. This is a thing -- so much so that the Japanese have convex mirrors at the end of interior aisles, to see oncoming traffic. So, Miss Manners, I'd like you to weigh in on this subject.

GENTLE READER: It has been a few years since Miss Manners attended driver's education, but she agrees that the etiquette has much in common with right-of-way, starting with both being frequently misunderstood.

Right-of-way means that the driver on the main roadway (your larger aisle) is not expected to slow down in anticipation of someone emerging from a side street (aisle); it is the side-street driver's responsibility to look for an opening before entering the main thoroughfare.

But, as with driving, both parties have a responsibility to avoid a collision -- which is more difficult to do when either or both parties are speeding past the low-cal section.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I was riding in the passenger seat of my husband's car and after a few minutes noticed something wet in my seat. It turns out I had sat on a packet of bleach disinfectant wipes and they had been leaking. This ruined my favorite pair of jeans.

I am reminded of another time, when I was in my late teens or early 20s, and my mom jumped down my throat because I sat on her sunglasses when I rode in the car. In her frustration, she said, "Why can't you look before you sit down?" Maybe I should be more careful, but when someone rides in my car, I always make a point to clear the passenger seat before they take a seat. I don't think it should be on them to clear out any clutter because they're my car guest. Is there an etiquette rule for this?

GENTLE READER: Two, in fact. Don't trap your guests (by offering them damp seats). And don't complain when your guest falls into a trap of your own making (sitting on the takeout you left under your sweater on the front seat).

Actually, there are three rules, if you count the proper response, which is, "Would you like me to throw this out for you?"

DEAR MISS MANNERS: With increasing frequency, I have had some awkward encounters with persons whose gender is not readily obvious to me. These encounters range from children of acquaintances to new hires at work or prospective new hires, and local neighborhood people of varying ages.

At some point in casual conversation, I often hear someone offering up the information that they are trans. Herein lies the confusion. What is the proper response on my part?

It feels invasive and inappropriate to ask this someone, "What are your pronouns?" Furthermore, it is often difficult through conversation and observation to make an accurate assessment of exactly what gender they have now transitioned to. Is it ever appropriate to simply ask, "What gender do you identify as?"

GENTLE READER: Invasive suggests you would be intruding, but you were not the one who raised this subject. Miss Manners suggests you ask, "How do you wish to be addressed?" as it shows respect without inviting further confessions of an intimate nature.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Is it necessary to say please and thank you with everything you do?

My daughter says that I am rude. She said that at our recent family party, I was very rude. She said that I didn't say please and thank you when I was probably helping my sister with dinner and was asking for something.

I asked my sister about it, and she said she didn't notice any rudeness. I have asked my friends, whom I see quite often, if they thought I was rude. They said no.

My daughter also says that I'm rude when I say something that she doesn't like or agree with.

GENTLE READER: Your last sentence makes Miss Manners think that this is not about rudeness, but you may tell your daughter that while courtesies are important, even -- or especially -- to relatives, an occasional omission over the course of a long evening is not a casus belli.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: A young adult relative texts me a lovely greeting nearly every day, which I cherish so much. However, every single day, she makes the same two spelling mistakes.

I feel like I want to say something about it, but I don't know if it would be proper or even how I would say it. Her spelling mistakes are common ones that almost everyone knows about. She writes the phrase, "I love you more then you will know" -- "then" instead of "than."

The other phrase that she uses every single day is, "Your welcome" -- "your" instead of "you're."

She is married to my nephew, and I love her so very much. We have grown quite close. I don't ever want to hurt her or upset her.

But it irks me that she does this every day. She probably writes these phrases to all of her friends and other relatives, too.

I think I would appreciate it if someone would let me know if I misspelled a word over and over again. I keep wondering if it would be a kindness if I corrected her? Or should I just overlook it and try not to let it irk me?

GENTLE READER: A quick way to kill this correspondence would be to respond to expressions of affection with a report card.

Anyway, Miss Manners suspects that those admittedly annoying errors may not even be the fault of your nice niece-in-law. Texting apps are notorious for guessing the word being typed and finishing it with the wrong guess. And the repetition may be because of stored phrases.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband (I am male) and I have been a couple for 38 years. When we're out in public (shopping, etc.), we don't engage in even mild displays of affection (something we dislike seeing others engage in publicly, no matter the genders involved).

Still, after this long together, I'm sure we have an evident rapport and way of interacting that may seem familial to others.

On a regular basis (a couple of times per month), we're asked by clerks, random strangers, etc., "Are you brothers?" We find the question puzzling and invasive, as if to suggest that it's somehow abnormal for adult siblings to be in public together (if that were the case here).

What these people are picking up on, and why they feel inclined to either confirm or reject whatever connection they seem to be constructing in their minds, is a mystery.

I've been inclined to say, "Yes, we are," and dispense with the invasion. Yet, on my better days, I want to ask (but don't), "Why are you asking?" And on my less-good days, I want to say, "What (expletive) business is it of yours?"

Is there a more appropriate way of responding to the uninvited (and unwanted) invasion of our privacy?

GENTLE READER: The answer to the mystery of why people ask about all sorts of matters that are none of their business is 1. They are nosy and 2. They lack the filter of tact.

But Miss Manners would have thought that the answer you need supply is a simple "No," in a tone intended to shut down further inquiry.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)