DEAR MISS MANNERS: I love my new boss. He's supportive, accessible and smart. Since the whole team works remotely, our meetings take place online. But how do you approach the boss about his being completely inappropriately dressed for a business meeting -- even a virtual one?

This otherwise great guy shows up on screen in his home office, which is filled with action figures, dressed in a very loose-fitting, sleeveless basketball shirt. It does not look good and it definitely does not seem appropriate for a business call.

I'm all for casual, especially when working from home, but this is next-level. Any ideas on how to broach this subject with him?

GENTLE READER: You could ask his advice about how he expects employees to dress for videoconferences, pointing out that you do not want to appear unprofessional or offend clients.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am hosting a destination family reunion. My children, their families and I are all traveling to the area where my sisters and their families live for the event.

As plans came together, I sent out invitations saying, "No plus-ones, please." Yet my sister blithely let me know that her 16-year-old granddaughter is bringing her new boyfriend, as if it were the cutest thing.

Nothing against the innocent young man, as any added expense will be negligible, but I am fuming. There are four teenaged cousins in the family. The idea is to interact with each other, and maybe even with other generations.

The message to me is that she disdains the family's company as unbearably boring. Is this as clear a breach as it strikes me, or just a modern trend that is futile and petty to resist?

GENTLE READER: Bringing the uninvited boyfriend, when extras have been explicitly excluded, is rude, but Miss Manners is unable to make the logical leap to interpreting it as a criticism and rejection of the family.

Would it not be more entertaining to let slip that you are so pleased to hear that the boyfriend is to be considered a family member, even if the announcement has not yet been made?

DEAR MISS MANNERS: In recent months, the person who has been cleaning our house for more than four years, while charging a competitive price, has delivered disappointing service. We are two senior adults living in a modest 1,500-square-foot home. There is limited "people traffic" coming through the house, and we do maintain the house between cleaning appointments.

How and when should we approach her and communicate our current disappointment with her services?

GENTLE READER: Just as with cleaning itself, this is not a task made easier by delay. As to the "how," Miss Manners trusts you will approach the cleaner with the same professional respect that you would extend to any employee.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Our new neighbors are well-known for being troublemakers. We are maintaining a cold and distant relationship with them, due to their famously disrespectful ways, and we have already been warned they are gossiping about us because of this.

I had to request intervention from the police due to them constantly blocking the entrance to my garage. I need to know if there is something polite I can write in my social media feed, which they follow, to the effect of, "The original homeowners are always remembered for their excellent behavior, respect, good boundaries and friendly relations -- things that the new owners are completely lacking."

We are ignoring them, but they haven't forgotten my call to the police and are constantly gossiping that we are the bad ones.

GENTLE READER: Etiquette will sanction your ignoring the new neighbors you so dislike -- or, when forced to interact with them, keeping your relations merely civil -- if we can agree that attacking them on social media and calling the police on them cannot be fairly called either cold or distant.

Miss Manners recommends actually ignoring them because it requires so much less effort -- and because civilities fail once the attacks begin.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Because of the pandemic, health and illness are on many people's minds. I am lucky to be in good health, but many of my friends seem to be obsessed with being sick, and it's starting to wear on me.

I'm tired of them constantly obsessing over their health. I feel like I have to always sympathize and provide endless support to their worries. How do I handle this in a respectful way?

GENTLE READER: A certain amount of sympathy for the genuine problems of a friend is expected. But talking endlessly about one's health -- like talking endlessly about any other aspect of oneself -- is a bore.

The solution is to change the subject, change your position in the room, or, if all else fails, change the guest list next time. Miss Manners prefers this to expecting conversational reciprocity, as she finds talking about her own health equally boring.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I recently lost my mom and we just had the service. My brother has two stepsons, and in the obituary, they were mistakenly left off the list of grandkids.

Biologically, my mom had a total of six grandkids, who were all mentioned in the obituary. My sister-in-law was very offended that her two sons weren't mentioned. They knew my mom, of course, but were not involved with her on a regular basis at all.

Was this wrong that we didn't mention them?

GENTLE READER: Yes, but Miss Manners would have counseled your sister-in-law that the service was not the time to express offense at an innocent mistake. Nor would she have pointed out that treating the stepsons as if they are not part of the family is ungracious: She would have assumed that the omission was done by accident.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I received a lovely handwritten invitation to attend a formal ladies' luncheon at my friend's home. Of course I accepted, and was looking forward to getting dressed up, as I don't have many chances to do so.

I told another friend of mine about it and she said that it sounded very nice, that she didn't really know many people who had those kinds of parties and that it must be nice to be invited to it.

A few days before the party, I called the hostess and asked if I could bring my other friend (they do not know each other). She said no. I got angry. I told her that I would not be attending, since she thought my friend would not be welcome at her fancy little shindig.

She tried to talk to me about it, but I just hung up. I haven't spoken to her since, even though she has tried to contact me several times via email and phone.

Now everyone is telling me that I was very rude to even ask to bring another person in the first place.

Where I come from, we go by the motto, "The more, the merrier," and we don't snub someone just because we don't know them.

GENTLE READER: Funny, you don't sound merry.

You sound like the very reason that so few people attempt to entertain.

Such an event requires planning: compiling a guest list of people who will enjoy being with one another, selecting a menu that will be pleasing and suitable, and creating a style that the guests will like. Instead of appreciating all this work for their benefit, guests, all too often, attempt to mess with the arrangements.

You wanted to bring your own guest. Others may attempt to dictate the menu, or to disparage the formality (such as your referring to it as a "fancy little shindig"). All these types of interference are common now.

Why should one bother to entertain such demanding and ungrateful people? Miss Manners is glad to hear that this hostess was not intimidated enough to give in, as many are. The only puzzling part is why she is still trying to get in touch with you.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: What is it these days with restaurant workers saying "There ya go" instead of "thank you" when they hand you your order?

I expect to say "thank you" back to the person, but it just seems like a ridiculous one-way street of courtesy in response to "There ya go." Now I just say nothing and leave. Any better ideas?

GENTLE READER: Should the response to "There ya go" be a reassuring "I'm going, I'm going"? Meaning that they say "go," and you go?

No, probably not. Restaurant Speak, which spreads mysteriously to a variety of establishments everywhere, is a language of its own. Normal people did not use to refer to eating as "working on that," or call their favorite drinks their "beverage of choice."

Neither you nor Miss Manners can retrain restaurant staffs. All you need to say when you leave is "goodbye."

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)