DEAR MISS MANNERS: My brother and I live in different states. We talk regularly by phone, with increased frequency over the past couple of years due to many illnesses and deaths in the extended family.

Virtually every time we speak, my sister-in-law jumps into the conversation midway through (sometimes after 10 or 15 minutes) to add a comment.

I am always taken by surprise that she has been listening to our call without my knowledge. There is nothing we are saying that she cannot hear, but I am taken aback nonetheless. I am not using speakerphone on my end, and tend to assume that our conversation is a private one.

How should this be handled? Should my brother notify me that she is listening in? Should I express surprise each time she enters a conversation (super awkward, especially due to the serious nature of many calls)? At this point, I guess that I should just assume she will be eavesdropping.

GENTLE READER: The etiquette here is identical to what is required if, while you are talking to your brother in person, your sister-in-law approaches you from behind: Your brother should either bring her presence to your attention, or, this being family, she could do so herself.

As in the live version, if you were to suddenly hear her comment over your shoulder, you can express surprise: "Oh! I didn't know you were on the line!"

If they do not learn after a few calls -- or if acting surprised is not as much fun as it sounds -- you can also start the call with, "Hi! Is Gillian on the phone too? Yes? Hi, how are you, Gillian?"

DEAR MISS MANNERS: While our children were growing up, I always permitted their friends to address me by my given name, while my husband always requested to be addressed by Mr. and our difficult-to-pronounce surname, or as Mr. L.

Our children are now in their late 20s. My husband still expects the man living with our daughter to address him in this fashion. In contrast, my husband has called my parents by their given names from the day they met.

Our daughter's partner is an adult -- well-employed, a homeowner -- and may one day be our son-in-law. I feel that my husband's request is disrespectful to both our daughter and her partner. What do you feel is the appropriate form of address, both in person and on tags when exchanging gifts?

GENTLE READER: It has always been Miss Manners' belief that respect demands addressing people as they wish to be addressed. Even if the current generation believes they were the first to enunciate this principle.

Respect, however, must be reciprocated. If your husband wants another adult to call him Mr. L., then he needs to address your daughter's partner as Mr. M. -- and to reconcile himself to a first-name basis when Mr. M. extends that courtesy to him.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I recently attended a dinner party where one of the other guests was someone whom I had met once, several years ago, and hadn't seen since. At that time, we were part of a large group visiting a park. Apparently she and I spent an hour or two walking around together and talking.

To be honest, I had no recollection of this event. She asked if I remembered, and seemed somewhat surprised and offended when I said I didn't.

After the dinner, a family member told me that I should've just nodded and said, "Oh yes, I remember, what a pleasant afternoon," or something like that. I was worried that I would be caught out in a lie -- I'm not a good liar -- and just confessed that I didn't remember. What do you think I should have done?

GENTLE READER: Certainly not asserted something that would quickly be revealed as untrue.

Taking serious offense when someone fails to remember you requires there to have been enough contact that a reasonable person would remember -- multiple introductions, for example, or having been married.

A single, long-ago conversation, even one of several hours, does not seem to qualify. However, Miss Manners cautions you to remember that neither is it a compliment to be forgotten. What your response lacked was an apology for forgetting, followed by a friendly change of subject.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: We rent out rooms in our home, and all tenants pitch in with chores. We are a bit like a blended family.

My husband came into a community room (the kitchen) where a tenant and I were already present. He proceeded to lecture me, saying I needed to let the tenants know about doing the dishes and not allowing them to pile up.

The tenant spoke up and said he had been doing dishes, and did not care who had dirtied them.

At this, my husband got irate and said, "This is a conversation between me and my wife. If I want your input, I will ask for it."

I believe my husband was in the wrong, and that if he wanted a private conversation, we should not have had it in a community area with a tenant present. Please advise us on the proper etiquette for private conversations.

GENTLE READER: Have them in private, which means out of earshot of the tenants. Miss Manners also does not look kindly on barking at tenants, business partners or relatives, real or assumed.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: As a physical therapist, I meet many people. Sometimes I do not know how to pronounce a new patient's surname.

We clinicians introduce ourselves by our first names, but I feel it would be disrespectful to greet a client with their first name until asked to do so, especially at a first meeting. What would be a polite way to address someone and ask for the correct pronunciation of their name?

GENTLE READER: "How do you do? I want to say your name correctly, so could you help me by telling me how you pronounce it?"

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband is a very sweet, good-natured guy. But lately, he keeps upsetting me with a particular annoying (and in my view, very inconsiderate) habit. He loves taking photos of me, including candid photos when I don't realize he is taking them.

I accept it is part of who he is, and I try to be patient about it. The really upsetting part is that he sometimes sends these photos out without my consent, even if I find them embarrassing. For example, he sends them to his family on a group chat that includes nine relatives. Today, he even sent an embarrassing photo to one of my friends/co-workers. I never find out until after these pictures are sent.

I have repeatedly tried to explain that this upsets me and is an invasion of my privacy. I also explained that some moments are intimate and should be left between us. But he doesn't get it and laughs it off. He claims all the photos are "cute" or "beautiful" and that I shouldn't mind.

The last two times that I found out he sent photos, I felt rage. What do I do?

GENTLE READER: He is not all that sweet and good-natured if his idea of fun is to hound, upset and embarrass his wife. This is not "part of who he is," as you assert; it is something he chooses to do.

And whoever put cameras within easy reach of all by putting them into telephones has a lot to answer for. Only an exhibitionist would want to live in constant public view, although there do seem to be a lot of those around.

But your problem is bigger than that. Miss Manners suggests that you stop arguing about the photographs and instead find out why your husband thinks it is all right to annoy and upset you.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My son-in-law, Liam, has been asked to be the best man at the fall wedding of his friend Cody. Cody and Liam have communicated, at most, three or four times via text in the last three years.

Cody has asked Liam to throw a five-day destination bachelor party. Not only that, he and his fiancee are asking the members of the wedding party to fly to Austria for their "first" wedding, stay there for six days, then travel to Italy for their "second" wedding and stay there for another six days. (No one in the wedding party has any connection to these places.) And of course they are also expected to bestow a gift on the greedy couple.

My daughter figures attending the wedding would cost them about $20,000, and that's without the bachelor party. They would also have to take their young son with them.

Liam is afraid that if he says no, he will lose Cody as a friend, while my daughter is telling him that Cody already isn't his friend. (I'm trying to stay out of it.) If she is successful in convincing Liam not to participate in this fiasco, how can he back out gracefully?

My suggestion would be to call Cody and say, "You've got to be kidding. There's no way this is going to happen," but I'm sure you have a more gracious response that would still get the message across.

GENTLE READER: Unless you are also kidding. It is hard for Miss Manners to imagine that anyone would accept these terms -- let alone still want to be friends with the person who set them.

All Liam has to say is, "I'm sorry, but I had no idea what this would involve. I simply can't do it. We wish you all the best."

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)