DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have been friends with a woman for almost 15 years. We are part of a group that often gets together for game nights, and we also celebrate important days in our lives.
On her last birthday, I offered to take her out to dinner, something we have done for both of our birthdays every year. She responded by saying she wants to take a break from seeing all the people in the gaming group until further notice.
Our other friends say they still see her, but she refuses to see me or respond to my texts or emails. I am confused and bewildered about why she has ended our friendship. Our other friends aren't sure why she made this decision.
I would apologize, but don't know what I did to create this chasm between us. After no response to two emails and a letter where I expressed a desire to talk through what is going on, I don't know what else to do.
Should I just accept the end of our friendship and move on? Even if she eventually reaches out, I am hurt and confused and not sure how to respond.
GENTLE READER: It is too soon to give up, if only because you admit the possibility that you may have done something that requires an apology. The question is, what?
Contrary to what you have been told, your other friends -- at least some of them -- do know what happened. They just (understandably) do not want to be put in the middle. Ask them again, one by one, until one confesses, reports your question back to your longtime friend or persuades you they truly don't know. The most likely outcome is that you will learn something that will inform you of what do next.