DEAR MISS MANNERS: Can I send a simple Valentine's card to a man I admire, but from whom I do not expect a response? The card would just wish him a happy day, with no mention of love or romance.
He does not know me, but he has a high-profile public image, so I know of him. I would send it in care of a professional association he is involved with, not to his home address.
I have no intention of following up, although I did send another simple card 20 years ago to this same man in the same way. He thanked me in writing. We have never met.
I would like to sign my name, but I also don't want to creep him out. He is unattached, while I am in an unhappy marriage, which he would know nothing about. I am torn.
GENTLE READER: Why didn't you just send him a New Year's card? As you say, you wouldn't want to suggest that this is about love or romance.
If you can't fool naive Miss Manners, you may be sure that you will not fool the recipient. But as he is apparently a public figure of some sort, you may not be the first unhappy wife who has approached him. It was gracious of him to thank you the first time, but he does not seem to have suggested that you run away together.
So you are talking about fan mail. That seems harmless, although not flattering to your husband -- if you care, or he would.