DEAR MISS MANNERS: Two new co-workers, who sit on either side of my area, both have plug-in air fresheners. The scents are quite strong and are difficult to tolerate. I'm not sneezing or to the point I can't breathe, but they are uncomfortably unpleasant to me.

I'm allergic to a lot of odors, and I also have asthma. I have addressed this with my supervisor, but he told me that it's not his place to address it -- that it's a co-worker issue.

I am so uncomfortable with the idea of bringing it up with my co-workers directly. They would be offended, and there would be tension in the office because of it. What is the best way to address this issue?

GENTLE READER: Nose-first. Blame it for being sensitive and ask if there is a milder version of the air freshener that could be used instead. Or bring your own, claiming you do not wish the burden of fresh air (oh, the irony) to be solely placed on them.

And speaking of burden, Miss Manners wonders at your supervisor's cowardice in not getting involved. It seems worth it to make a "neutral odor" office policy rather than risk employees viciously turning on one another.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Our family has just welcomed a new baby, and we have received many thoughtful gifts from relatives and friends, including a check from my uncle and a book from my grandmother. I wrote both of them thank-you cards, but then my mother informed me that my UNCLE had sent the book and my grandmother had sent the check.

I'm positively mortified. What can I do to fix this?

GENTLE READER: Swap the letters.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My boyfriend broke up with me and I did not talk with or see him in months. He tried to call me sometimes, but I did not take the calls.

Well, then he called again and said he was going to come see me. I told him no, that I was busy, but he came over anyway. I was going out with friends, so he stayed at my house with my parents, as they were visiting as well.

My friends and I had gone out for dinner, and then my ex was mad that I didn't bring him any food back. Should I have gotten him some food when I didn't even want him there? He stayed overnight on my couch and then left the next morning.

I have not spoken to him again. This happened months ago but I am still irate.

GENTLE READER: As well you should be. You did not need to allow this man in your house, much less provide him food and lodging. This might encourage or confuse him -- as your parents' odd behavior clearly did.

But Miss Manners trusts that since you said this was months ago, the behavior has ceased. Should it happen again, she recommends you involve a firmer hand, if not higher authorities, and at least secure the assurance that your parents will aid you in swiftly escorting him out of the door.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband and I are expecting our second child. When I delivered our son, before the pandemic, there were no restrictions on visitors at our hospital, and any required, routine vaccinations were not an issue, despite known political differences among our family members.

Now things have changed. My husband's father, sister and her entire family refuse to be vaccinated against COVID-19, despite several cases in the family -- including our son, who was too young to receive the vaccine and ended up at the hospital via ambulance.

My husband and I are both very confrontation-averse, but we are not comfortable having anyone who is not fully vaccinated at the hospital. I thought to send a full-family message, so that no one will be singled out, stating that we would be happy to see them in person if they have received their Tdap and COVID-19 vaccines, in line with hospital regulations.

I want to pair the vaccines in the message because I know they all have their Tdap shots up to date, and it might soften the politics associated with the newer vaccine. Is there a polite way to set these boundaries?

GENTLE READER: Companies promulgate policies because they know it is harder to argue with an intangible policy than with a living person. It is even harder to argue with a policy that is set by a large corporation you do not control (in this case, the hospital).

The message to the family is: "The hospital will not admit unvaccinated visitors, and we do not want to cause trouble. We are happy to do virtual visits -- or you can meet Harper after we bring her home." Miss Manners omits "from college" on the assumption that you can find reasons to delay at-home visits as long as you feel is necessary.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I work a job where I often have to staple both portrait and landscape pages together. How do I orient the landscape pages in relation to the portrait ones?

GENTLE READER: Facing forward.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am a healthy, very thin woman and always have been. It is just the way I am. I would like to know what to say when someone makes a comment such as, "Wow, you are so skinny!" or "You must never eat to be so thin."

I find these comments hurtful and embarrassing. Why are these comments deemed OK, but if I said to someone, "My goodness, you are so fat! You must eat a lot," I would undoubtedly be seen as rude? (I have been tempted to say this.)

What can I say to these people so they know this is not OK?

GENTLE READER: Your assumption that people are not called fat every day would be charmingly naive were it not so terribly wrong. Something hurtful can be said about anyone, and too often is -- a fact that Miss Manners wishes everyone to remember before speaking.

On the receiving end, the proper response is a cold disdain that conveys offense taken without actually starting a fight. Or, if you have time to spare and a strong stomach, you could pretend not to understand so that they are forced to keep explaining themselves until they fall into the hole they have dug.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: In the grocery store today, I saw a woman pick up a closed plastic container of fresh blueberries, open it, reach in barehanded, pick up a blueberry between her fingers and squeeze it.

She then put the blueberry back and tested two more berries in the same container. She then placed the container back in the bin, picked up a different container and proceeded to test the blueberries in the same fashion. And then another container.

I was disgusted and could not believe my eyes. Certainly it's fine to feel for the ripeness of a fruit that has a skin, such as an apple, but this seemed out of line!

Should I have said something to her in the moment? I grabbed a container far away from where she was shopping and said nothing. I will be washing my berries a lot more thoroughly!

GENTLE READER: Policing the fruit is not your job, which Miss Manners assumes comes as welcome news. This does not absolve you of all responsibility, but it will be easier to report the offender to a store employee than to confront her yourself.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband, a doctor at a large medical practice, has started hanging out with some of the other doctors outside of work. Some of them like to golf, and he is coordinating the next outing.

However, he's not sure how to pick out a golf course. We live in a part of the country where everything is very overpriced, golf included. There are many courses in the area that my husband says are ridiculously expensive (his words; I know very little about golf).

Apparently, some of the more reasonably priced courses are booked for the day that they are planning to get together. So now he's wondering if he should reserve a tee time at a course that charges double what he would normally pay, or take his new friends to a course he considers subpar (no pun intended).

I've always spent outings with people who had similar budgets to me, or politely declined expensive outings, so I don't know how to help. How would you advise him?

GENTLE READER: The group rotates coordinators as a way of sharing the cost -- without the unpleasant necessity of having pockets emptied in the parking lot after every outing.

Miss Manners says this not to suggest that they should start doing so, but to remind you of the premise. The solution is for your husband to explain to the group that he had his heart set on taking them to course X or course Y -- but that neither is available on the date in question; would they mind moving the date?

This will be more easily accomplished if the selected courses are not wholly out of line with what others are paying when it comes their turn. If his preferred courses are known to be less expensive, your husband will either have to pay more, or rely on his newfound friends to understand that the companionship and the quality of the course are more important than the dollars spent.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)