DEAR MISS MANNERS: One of the organizing principles of my family's life has been that, since our kids were babies, we've eaten dinner together as a family nearly every night -- seated at our kitchen table, with no screens.

As a result, my children, now 16 and 11, have pretty good table manners, are capable of adult conversation and eat a healthy variety of cuisine. It's a linchpin of our good family relationships.

But how do we manage varying natural eating speeds? My husband, son and I probably eat a bit too fast, but my daughter is a remarkably slow eater. The three of us end up sitting in front of our empty plates for 15+ minutes while my daughter finishes her food.

At some point, my husband starts clearing the plates and cleaning up because he has to get up very early -- and, I suspect, because he is restless. My son gets up and starts scrounging around the kitchen for more food, because he is 16 and an athlete (and because he is also restless). I am unsettled by all the activity.

On occasion, my daughter will more or less excuse the rest of us and finish dinner alone, which feels lonely for her and rude for us. On other occasions, she will just stop eating when the rest of us are done. The overall result is that our family meals, which are quite pleasant overall, end on a slightly hectic note.

The three of us could slow down a bit, but not all the way down to my daughter's pace, and I hesitate to ask her to hurry up. It also seems unreasonable to ask everyone else to hang out in front of empty plates for an extra 15 minutes instead of getting to bed, starting homework, etc.

I'm officially at a loss, and hope you have some suggestions on how we can harmonize the wrap-up to our family dinners.

GENTLE READER: One can require children to attend family meals without its feeling like a hostage situation. Everyone should be expected to stay a reasonable length of time -- even if they are fast eaters and finish early.

After that, one person should volunteer to remain as company with your daughter while the others are excused. Ideally, that duty will be rotated.

What, you ask Miss Manners, is a reasonable amount of time? She would not have thought that an extra 10 minutes would be much to ask of your restless son or your sleepy husband. An additional 30 minutes is a different matter.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Although I have a difficult relationship with my sister-in-law, I emailed her a few weeks ago to say that I could forward her resume to the recruiter at my work. She was looking for a job, and getting nervous because her husband never works during the winter and they have massive debt on their credit card.

She never responded to my email. Should I say something? It really bothered me, and it always feels like she gives me the cold shoulder.

GENTLE READER: Surely things are best left as they are. Miss Manners believes that it would be bothersome to attach your professional reputation to someone you cannot, in good conscience, recommend.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I work in a large medical center where colleagues frequently stop in the halls to converse. My quandary arises when these conversations occur with one participant on one side of the hallway and the other across the hall, leaving those passing no choice but to walk between them as they talk.

Must I excuse myself? I suppose I could pause and wait for them to finish their discussion so as not to interrupt them, but this seems extreme in terms of passive-aggressiveness.

I confess that this often happens on my way into work, when I have not yet had any coffee and am inclined to grumpiness. But I also feel that the chatting pair is forcing this quandary upon me by choosing to chat across the hallway. I suppose that is the crux of my disgruntlement: Their choice forces me to choose between rudeness and ridiculousness.

Are the conversation-holders entitled to an apology when I walk between them as they converse? Am I absolved of feeling guilty if I decline to extend that courtesy?

GENTLE READER: Could you have some coffee at home, and be not quite so easily thrown by your chatty colleagues?

Miss Manners is not defending them, but neither does she consider that they are committing a high crime. If you don't want to excuse yourself, she supposes you could plow ahead, calling "Coming through!"

But you are mistaken in thinking that "excuse me" is, in this case, an admission of fault on your part. If you say it in an authoritative voice, "Excuse me!" sounds like a command, and should prompt your colleagues to murmur the apologetic version of the phrase.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: We have been invited to a small dinner party. When replying to the invitation, we volunteered to bring dessert. Our host then asked that we bring wine in addition to dessert.

My husband can't drink any alcohol, and since I'm driving, I wasn't going to drink any, either. Is it impolite to bring nonalcoholic wine?

GENTLE READER: When you volunteered to bring dessert, you were presumably trying to help your hosts. And now you want to sabotage them, knowing perfectly well what they meant by "wine."

Perhaps you didn't really want to help, but are among those who mistakenly believe that etiquette requires guests to contribute to any meals to which they are invited. (It doesn't, and many hosts, who have carefully planned the meals they give, are annoyed by guests who insist upon adding to them.)

But neither do guests have to take orders about what to bring. You should have said, "Sorry, but we'll just bring dessert." Miss Manners only wishes that you had a better reason, such as a moral objection, for not wanting to bring wine. The fact that you will not be drinking it, and are therefore willing to deprive others, does not suffice.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Is it considered impolite to tie the string of one's tea bag around the teacup? I usually do this to prevent the string and tag from falling into the tea. Whenever I drink tea at my friend's home, however, she gets terribly annoyed by this.

GENTLE READER: Then why doesn't she serve loose tea, in a proper teapot?

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My family grew up in a lovely area. I still live here, while my brother and sister-in-law have moved out of state. My brother occasionally reaches out to ask if they can stay with me for a weekend to attend events and visit family and friends.

I love having company, and welcome visitors whenever I can. But since moving away, my brother and his wife have taken to making negative comments to me about the state in which we all grew up -- about our governor, the traffic, the high cost of living, the weather, you name it -- all while staying in my house!

I am not sure how to respond to these comments. Do I tell my brother ahead of the next visit that he is welcome, but ask him to leave the negative comments at home? Do I decline his request and suggest they choose another sibling with whom to stay?

Do I just smile and tell them I'm so happy they have found a much better place for themselves? I get stressed just thinking about the next visit.

GENTLE READER: Because your brother grew up in your area, he probably thinks that he has free license to insult it -- forgetting that his siblings have remained loyal and do not feel the same.

But that does not mean, Miss Manners assures you, that you have to listen. You might say, "I know that you never thought much of our hometown, and I'm so glad that you have found one that suits you better. But I still love it here, and when you disparage it, it makes me feel terrible. I love having you at my house, and it seems that you like staying here, so perhaps while you're here, you can find some things that you still like about the place that we still clearly love."

And then Miss Manners suggests steering the conversation away from the local news.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am hosting a brunch in honor of a much younger friend, and I only know four of the 47 invitees. Would it be terribly tacky for me to have name tags for the guests?

I'm 67, and the likelihood of me remembering all the names is very small. If it is relevant, the event will be held in my home.

GENTLE READER: The desire to connect with all of your guests is commendable, but Miss Manners assures you that no one will expect you to remember all 47 names. The advantage of having so many guests in your home is that it is unlikely that you will have to greet any of them more than once.

Name tags feel a bit business-y -- or like a high school reunion. Should you need to reference anyone, surely your young guest of honor will discreetly come to your aid -- or indulge you afterwards in a rousing post-party game of "which one was the woman with the purple hair and the psychology degree?"

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)