DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband and I are both going to be 68 this year, and we live on a fixed income that barely covers expenses. We were lucky enough to inherit our home, which had been paid for in full beforehand. Still, with taxes, home upkeep, utilities, food, transportation costs, pet expenses and what little entertainment we can afford, we just scrape by.
My problem is that I have a son, a daughter and a grandson -- all adults -- currently living under my roof, as they had absolutely nowhere else to go. They are not contributing any money and are not keeping their areas clean and tidy.
They cook and eat in my home. Please help me with how to get them motivated to clean up after themselves and contribute to our little community.
GENTLE READER: It should not matter, but if you have disclosed the fact that the house is paid for, your family might be under the false impression that your expenses are nominal. Or if they are in the throes of a difficult time, they may be reverting back to their childish ways.
You can have compassion while also creating ground rules: "We are happy to have you here, but you must treat our house with respect, especially if this is going to be a long-term situation. Cleaning up after yourself is required, and contributions to meals are appreciated."
As for motivation? If they are unwilling to comply, Miss Manners suggests you gently start assisting them with other housing options.