DEAR MISS MANNERS: I watched from my house as my new neighbor walked by with his wife, young daughter and beautiful dog. The dog picked my perfect lawn to relieve himself, which I understood. Thankfully, the man picked it up in a blue baggie, saving me from an awkward encounter where I may have embarrassed him in front of his family.

But then he threw the baggie into the bed of my brand-new pickup truck! Shocked, I said nothing ... but now it has become his habit, and I have found several more bags of dog poop back there. How can I tactfully handle this bad neighbor?

GENTLE READER: It is tempting to return to your neighbor what is rightfully his -- in the same manner in which it was received -- but if you want to maintain otherwise good relations with him, Miss Manners does not advise it.

Instead, you may politely let him know what he otherwise must have missed: "I'm not sure how they got here, but somehow your dog's poop baggies have ended up in my truck. If you don't mind disposing of them elsewhere, I would be extremely grateful."

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My mother-in-law has some food behaviors that are jarring and unusual. At family meals, she will take disproportionate amounts of food: For example, she will take every cookie on a plate that is being passed around to share.

I am glad that all of the cookies are being eaten, but I find it rude to the other guests who are handed an empty plate after her. Once, she fished out all of the meat from a stew when it went around the table.

Often our family meals are potluck style. She will volunteer to bring a side dish, dessert or bread, but will actually bring something else, such as an onion or head of lettuce, and then keep it for herself. Other times, she will bring over food for us to cook so that she can take it home with her. The food is not for us to share.

I've asked my husband if he could talk to his mom about it, because her behavior is weird and embarrassing. He doesn't think it worth bringing up, and ignores it.

In the meantime, I just plan to not count on her to bring anything to the table, and instead to take everything from it. Am I overstepping in asking my husband to talk to her? How should I handle this, if at all?

GENTLE READER: Sorry. Miss Manners is distracted by the image of your mother-in-law sitting in the corner with her onion and head of lettuce, emphatically not willing to share.

If the husband approach is not working because he doesn't find this an alarming departure from the way his mother has always behaved, it seems to Miss Manners that family- or buffet-style service should cease when your mother-in-law comes to dinner.

You can either dish things up in the kitchen, restaurant-style, or assign someone in the household -- perhaps your husband -- to act as a server, walking around with dishes of food that guests may then serve themselves. If your mother-in-law lingers a bit too long with the cookies or the stew meat, the server may then suddenly take the platter away, with the excuse that he thought she was finished.

If she's still hungry, you can always suggest that she go back to her onion.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband and I are an older couple, and my husband isn't in the best of health. With that, a lot of care falls on me. I knew this going into the marriage seven years ago, and accepted the responsibility willingly -- grateful that I can share these years with the kindest, most gentle man I have ever known.

Maybe I am being a bit thin-skinned, but my husband's family and kids by a prior marriage seem to think I don't exist. Cards and invitations all come addressed to him only, or him "plus guest." I may be old-fashioned, but I did teach my children that even if you don't care for the husband or wife, you always include both. Lay your battles down for that day and be nice for that event.

The kicker was a graduation where we both had grandchildren graduating. My daughter included both of us on the invitations to the ceremony and party. His son sent an invitation just to my husband. We just went to our separate families' parties. When I saw them at the stadium, we all waved, but his family gave us all the cold shoulder.

This also happened when my hubby was in the hospital: I kept his family informed, but on the two times they visited, I was excluded from the conversation.

Now he can't understand why I refuse to go out to lunch with his family, or even be around them on the very few times it happens per year. I have explained that I am too old for these games. They have made it clear I am unwanted, so I refuse to put myself in the position of being pointedly ignored.

I know it hurts his feelings, and I feel bad. How would you handle this?

GENTLE READER: With a less frank characterization when speaking about the situation with your husband. Yours emphasizes the wrong being done to you. This does more than hurt your husband's feelings: It also embarrasses him, as, being their father, he bears some responsibility for their rudeness.

Say (and mean, which Miss Manners realizes will be harder) that you are happy for him to spend quality time with his children. You know how much it means to them, and you know that they would prefer that it be just with him.

If you can convince him, then he will come to realize that your absenting yourself truly is the easiest solution. That, or he will take a fatherly responsibility and speak to his children about correcting their manners.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I overheard a conversation in which it was stated as fine and customary to listen on the extension when your spouse is speaking with an ex, perhaps about their children.

Is this true? I always thought it was rude, unless all parties on a call were aware of all participants involved.

GENTLE READER: For yourself, and anyone listening in, Miss Manners says emphatically that it is rude to eavesdrop on other peoples' telephone calls, no less so if you have your suspicions -- or if "an ex" implies the existence of more than the usual number.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am fortunate to be the principal of a wonderful school. It is not an exaggeration to say that I receive gifts from children and parents almost daily, partially due to their gratitude that we were in-person during this difficult year.

Spontaneous gifts from children, such as their own personal drawings or sharing of a birthday cupcake, are charming, of course. It is the adult-bought gifts that are the problem.

I love gratitude! But the gifts are misplaced -- it is my amazing teachers who deserve these gifts. I have said so in my weekly principal's column, to no avail.

Ours is a religious school, and my preference would be for a small donation to go to a charity rather than to an item I cannot use and must give away. I had thought about a small yard sale, with the money going to the school, but it would hurt the families if they found out. I cannot even donate the items back to the school for our annual sale for the same reason!

These are wonderful people and I do not wish to hurt their feelings. Nor do I wish to be a curmudgeon. Please help me understand how to word my thank-you notes and what I might do to redirect such kindness without hurting anyone.

GENTLE READER: Educating, as you know, is only half of your job; the other half is working around impediments, be they limited resources, other activities competing for students' interests, or even a child or parent who is having a less-than-wonderful moment.

Your gift problem is not so different. Miss Manners does not like to think of etiquette as impeding anything, but she agrees that you cannot refuse the gifts or convert them to cash, nor should you hurt parents' feelings.

A full lesson plan will include the already-printed principal's column and letters that express gratitude while mentioning that the teachers are the true heroes. It may then be time for a new school rule prohibiting all school managers from accepting gifts -- and perhaps the establishment of a volunteer fair where these families may better channel their charitable impulses.

MISS MANNERS: Can you let us know what might be the proper etiquette for who should be included in wedding photos? I have been to several weddings, in both my own family and my husband's, and the standards for family photos and videos seem to vary considerably.

Most often, we are the uncles of the bride or groom. While we maintain warm relationships with our family members, we are usually not included in wedding photos -- although sometimes we are.

GENTLE READER: It would surprise Miss Manners if you were not caught in any of the wedding photographs, at least in passing, now that wedding photography rivals major commercial films in the trouble it causes.

But she takes it you are referring to set pieces to which family members are summoned. Etiquette is content to have the event live in the memories of those who attended. After that, she insists only that the taking and sharing of photographs be done in a way that offends the fewest number of people. And that the uncles resolve not to feel offended.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)