DEAR MISS MANNERS: Our elderly mother just passed away. My siblings and I live far from the town where we grew up, which my mother refused to leave. Between our frequent visits home, we had to rely on cousins to help with our mother. One family had her over to dinner weekly.
How do we thank them now that she has passed? She left a considerable estate, and we thought maybe to thank them monetarily, but that may give offense as we know their assistance was given out of love. A charitable donation in their name seems not to the point. As for a personal gift, we do not know enough about their individual tastes to buy something meaningful.
How can we express our deep gratitude and not give offense?
GENTLE READER: By expressing it. By writing an effusive letter -- on paper -- saying how grateful you are, and how much you know your mother appreciated their great kindness.
Miss Manners is surprised that the last thing people seem to think of in expressing gratitude is to offer warm written evidence. Surely a testimonial to their great kindness will be more valued than any trinket.