DEAR MISS MANNERS: My son will be graduating high school and I'm thinking about how to celebrate. When his sister graduated years ago, we had a nice party at our home: Her friends, past teachers, church families, neighbors and everyone in between stopped by to wish her well.

Little bro doesn't have many friends, and hasn't found any teachers he connects with. We no longer go to church, and have moved 45 miles from our previous hometown. I worry a party just wouldn't go well for him. He says he doesn't want any acknowledgment, but this is a huge milestone, so I want to do SOMETHING.

He suggested a trip, which I have agreed to. But I had an additional idea, and want your advice on it. I thought about sending out graduation announcements with a little card for the recipient to send back. On the card, I would have them finish the sentence, "If I could go back and give my 18-year-old self one piece of advice, it would be ..." or something along those lines. I think it would be neat to hear what advice my older family members have to offer.

My thought is that this would be a way for extended family and old friends to recognize his accomplishment, and maybe also for him to receive some monetary gifts to use on the trip.

What are kids doing these days instead of graduation parties?

GENTLE READER: In order to extract money from relatives and their parents' friends?

Miss Manners was with you until you mentioned that. How nice to celebrate your son's graduation, and in a way that is tailored to him. A family trip sounds like a lovely idea. The idea of soliciting advice for him was undoubtedly well meant, although that might not be on a teenage boy's wish list. And the people you ask might resent being given homework.

It may be a good thing that the pandemic partially halted those grown-up parties for graduates. Guests tend to interpret them as -- well, what you also suggest: gift-grabs. Graduation announcements are also interpreted as such in these crass times, although surely all that is necessary for a recipient to do is to offer congratulations.

Send the announcements if you like, but please only to people you have reason to believe would be pleased to be notified. Excitement about the high school graduations of acquaintances' children tends to be somewhat limited.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I spent a year in England as a transfer college student. I met a nice guy and I'm planning to move there to be with him.

The only thing is, he has requested more than once that I start using their lingo instead of the typical American phrasing. Like saying "loo" instead of "bathroom" or "lift" instead of "elevator." That kind of thing.

He said some English people he knows have an unfavorable view of Americans and it makes me stick out in a negative way. What do you think?

GENTLE READER: That it would be helpful to know what the English gentleman thinks before committing yourself to him. Is it pride in his nationality? Or shame at yours?

Miss Manners would consider it reasonable of him to expect you to use the language of the country you are visiting. But if he is embarrassed at your being an American, and is choosing to cater to the prejudices of others, you should reconsider.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: When I started my current position, I shared an office with a co-worker who was constantly asking me personal questions. One in particular really chafed me.

We were required to put our out-of-office time on the office calendar, and I had noted an upcoming doctor's appointment accordingly. She asked me, "What is your doctor's appointment for?" This was within days of starting my new job. I did not know this woman well at all.

I was taken aback. The appointment was of a personal nature and I didn't want to share it with her. In my former workplace, medical matters were never discussed unless brought up by the afflicted.

Being put on the spot and not having a good alternative answer, I told her the nature of the appointment. I suppose I could have lied, but I wasn't thinking quick enough. I felt strongly (still do!) that it was not any of her business, but I didn't want to offend my new officemate so early in my new gig.

She later asked another co-worker a similar question, in my presence, and was quite offended when they told her it was none of her business. Do you have a suggestion for how to respond to such an inquiry in the future?

GENTLE READER: Perhaps this co-worker will learn from your officemate's response, who was conveniently rude in your stead.

If she has not, and still insists on asking you the purpose of your doctor's visits, Miss Manners permits you to answer, with some surprise, "To see the doctor, of course."

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My 6-year-old daughter received an invitation to an indoor/outdoor birthday party at a friend's home. The invite says "masks at your discretion," and more than 25 people have been invited with no mention of the vaccination status of guests.

Regionally, our COVID positivity rate exceeds 25%. It's incomprehensible to host a masks-optional party under these circumstances.

The invitation came via evite, and I want to be delicate about our choice not to attend so as to avoid offending other parents. I also don't want to lie to the host. Part of the reason we find ourselves in this ongoing pandemic is due to individuals not considering the collective.

Do I RSVP with a note explaining why we won't be coming? Or just say "thanks, sorry we will miss it"?

GENTLE READER: If they have not gotten the health message from the rest of the world, it is unlikely that they will receive it (kindly) from you. Miss Manners suggests that you simply say that you are busy -- without adding "... not getting COVID from you" to the end of the sentence.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: As I was eating lunch with my father today, my stomach began making some very loud noises. We began to discuss other instances in which our stomachs have rumbled or when we have gotten the hiccups in public settings (e.g. a funeral home, a classroom, etc.).

When these scenarios happen in a formal setting, what is the proper etiquette for addressing it?

GENTLE READER: "Excuse me."

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Our pandemic puppy has a lot of energy, so we take her on frequent walks. I try to keep her to the sidewalk or the dog strip (the grass between the sidewalk and street).

Luckily for me, she never does her business on walks, so I don't need to carry a bag with me. However, if there is an empty soda bottle or other piece of trash in those areas, she loves to pick it up. I always tell her to drop it, and she does within a few paces.

Once my pup picks it up, is it my responsibility? What if she carries it from the sidewalk in front of one house to the next house? Sometimes I don't want to pick up whatever it is, as it's dirty. Should I kick it back to where it started? Should I just tell her to drop it and keep moving?

GENTLE READER: Trash is a "9/10 of the law" sort of proposition. Once it is in your possession -- or in that of your dependents -- it belongs to you.

As you have been lucky enough not to have to deal with sidewalk "business," consider this your recompense and start bringing bags and gloves anyway. Or, Miss Manners suggests, help your dog un-learn this particular trick.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am 54 years old, and I have a friend who is 81. We get together for "movie nights" on Fridays.

I was absent for several weeks, and when I got back, I checked to see if we were on for that Friday. She said "Yes, come over." When I got there, she was very sick -- coughing constantly. She said it was a bad cold, not COVID, but she had not gotten tested, so she did not know for certain.

I stayed that evening, even though I felt very uncomfortable, and then my husband and I ended up wearing masks the next week at our home. I wanted to make sure I didn't give him anything.

I wound up being fine and not getting sick. I told her that I would like her to get tested before we get together again, and her text back to me was "OK." She still has not gotten tested and our next meeting is coming up. She has been vaccinated, but not boosted.

What would you do? My husband has comorbidities, so I need to be careful for him; also, I am still working and need to be careful for my co-workers.

Am I overreacting? Who tells a friend to come over when they are really sick??

GENTLE READER: Remember when it used to be considered a sign of brave stoicism to soldier on (and infect everybody) when one was ill?

Those days, Miss Manners assures you, are over. Rather than directly scolding your friend, perhaps you may tell her, "I hadn't heard from you, so I assume you haven't received your test results yet. Perhaps instead of our movie night, I will drop off some soup. Let me know when you are fully recovered so that we can resume."

And then wait however long is currently recommended -- and until you feel safe -- before letting your schedule conveniently open up again.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)