DEAR MISS MANNERS: Do you have any ideas on how to stop my husband from yelling and cussing? He's a good person and doesn't cuss at me, but almost everything makes him mad. Except for me, he calls everyone names -- even his mother -- but never to their faces.

He is always polite in front of people, but I have to listen to him complain about everyone, every day. I can't listen to any more of it.

How can I keep my marriage but get him to stop? I'm at a loss. He won't talk to anyone about it.

GENTLE READER: Have you tried "Honey, that upsets me"?

Evidently, your husband can control his anger when he does not want to upset other people. And he is under the common but disastrous mistake of believing that he need not exhibit such manners at home.

Miss Manners is afraid that you will have to explain to him gently that the consequences of making life unpleasant in one's own home are far greater than those of annoying outsiders.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I had two tickets to the ballet and wanted my friend to go with me. I called and asked if she'd like to go, and she said "we" (she and her husband) would love to.

I was shocked and uncertain of how to respond. Did I do something wrong, or did she? Is every invitation to a married person assumed to include the spouse?

GENTLE READER: But you doubtless said, "Would you like to go to the ballet with me?" And that is a problem of the English language, where "you" is both singular and plural. Trying to make the distinction has led to the use of the colloquial "you all" (or "y'all") and the often misapplied "you guys."

Married people should be invited as couples to evening social events and ceremonial ones, such as weddings. Such invitations as yours, or invitations to luncheon, may be issued to one person, who can then decide whether or not to go it alone.

Next time, Miss Manners suggests that you open with, "I have an extra ticket." You can still say it in this case: "Oh, I'd love to see Zach another time, but I have only one extra ticket."

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I'm in my mid 60s, and am encountering more and more situations where friends and family repeat the same stories.

I guess I should consider myself fortunate that I can remember who I have told what, but I would appreciate a gentle way to remind someone that they have told me a particular story more than once, or that they told me the story the day before.

I'm trying my best to be patient, but sometimes I just want to scream.

GENTLE READER: Please don't. But neither do you have to sit through the same story over and over.

The polite stop signal is "Oh, yes, I remember; I love that story." Miss Manners suggests beaming at the speaker and starting a related topic.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My neighbor insists that when mailing a card, it should be placed with the front facing the front of the envelope. Whenever she receives cards during the holidays or on her birthday, the first thing she does is to comment on whether it was "correctly positioned" or not.

I know of no such picayune dictates regarding card placement in envelopes, and feel that my neighbor is being petty.

Will Miss Manners please clarify this not-so-pressing issue on which I've dwelled far too long?

GENTLE READER: The mystery is why people who rudely criticize others' manners are so often ignorant of the rules. Unsolicited instruction is not a picayune matter, because it taints etiquette by representing it as rudeness.

Aside from the greater transgression of belittling people in the act of wishing her well, your neighbor is just wrong. Because envelopes are opened from the back, where the flap is, the contents should face that way.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: How should I react to a friend and fellow church member who sent an email asking for the business of selling my father's house -- just one month after his passing?

The email asked nothing about how I am, or how the family is doing, though she did bring us flowers two weeks ago.

GENTLE READER: So your friend did express sympathy. Miss Manners trusts that you have already thanked her for that. Yes? Because that is the only reaction you owe her.

Nowadays, emails announcing "Someone wants to buy your house" are sent indiscriminately, even to people who don't own houses. That your sympathetic friend misjudged when you will be emotionally ready to face the problem of what to do with your father's house does not seem as intrusive.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My fiance and I are slowly planning a wedding to take place next year. We are very lucky to have large families and many friends.

We also have a nice home, full of inherited silverware and dishes and everything else that we could need or want. We find wedding registries tacky, and have no need or desire for cash gifts or a "honeymoon fund."

Is there any way to express to our guests that we will not be registering for gifts, and not make it sound like a cash grab? All we want is for those we love to come and enjoy our special day with us.

It seems that in this case, it's lose-lose: With a gift registry, you are asking for gifts, but without one, it seems like you are asking for cash. We don't want to communicate either of those things to our guests.

GENTLE READER: Isn't it sad that people now assume that bridal couples must be expecting to profit from their guests in one way or another? And you are probably right that any demurring on your part will raise the suspicion that you want payments without the trouble of laundering your take in the form of presents.

Miss Manners is afraid that your only response to inquiries should be, "You know, we haven't thought about it because we are really not concerned with getting anything."

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Shortly after boarding my flight today, I noticed that the passenger sitting next to me had his mask below his nose. In a very polite tone, I asked him, "Would you please put your mask over your nose?"

He responded that masks are "ineffective," to which I replied, again in a perfectly civil tone, "Science says otherwise, so we'll have to agree to disagree."

He grumbled, pulled his mask up, and typed a message on his phone, in very large font, that he was sitting next to a "mask Nazi" and a "(misogynist expletive)."

From the size of the font and angle at which he held his phone, I guessed that he wanted me to see the messages, but, as I have young children, I recognized this outburst for what it was: an immature and guilty reaction to being caught doing something one shouldn't do. I declined the bait and opened my book.

Later during the flight, he again let his mask fall below his nose.

What might Miss Manners do in such a situation? Ask the neighbor again? If so, how? Should one ring the flight attendant to request their intervention? Should one ask to be seated elsewhere?

GENTLE READER: If one can. At the very least, you may make a show of it to the flight attendant by asking: "Is it possible for me to change seats? I do not wish to police this gentleman, but I do not feel safe with his mask improperly fitted."

At which point, the flight attendant will likely scold him for you, and possibly even reseat you. Miss Manners is afraid that you may still have to endure his childish complaints that you told on him. But at least you will do so from a safer distance.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband, myself and another couple went out for dinner last summer (during the pandemic). We were in a tourist destination, at the beginning of what we have come to call "supply chain issues." The restaurant was busy and no one had thought to make reservations, so we had to wait about 30 minutes to be seated.

Soon, after we were seated and our server was taking our orders, it became clear that one of our party was deeply unhappy with the menu items available; there were some items that had just been exhausted. The unhappy party then vented at the server, saying that "more buffalo should have been ordered," and demanding to know why it hadn't.

We were so embarrassed that I felt like leaving. What is the best way for bystanders to react in this situation? I have never witnessed anything like this in my dining experience.

GENTLE READER: Treat this person as you would a child having a tantrum: with an apologetic look to the server and, if possible, a swift removal of the complainant.

Miss Manners suggests you offer to take the offender outside, saying, "I know this is disappointing. Perhaps you need a moment to compose yourself?" And then pad the server's tip.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)