DEAR MISS MANNERS: I was standing in line at the post office, wearing a mask. The man in front of me turned around and started shouting at me for wearing a mask.

I chose to ignore his initial shout. He continued shouting, telling me his views on masks, virus protocol and radio shows that are telling the "truth."

No one else in line, nor any employee, said anything. He got called to the window, conducted his business, and proceeded to shout at me again as I was leaving.

How should one deal with such an aggressive person? I have the feeling that no matter what I said, it would not matter to him.

GENTLE READER: There are many reasons not to engage with people who shout at strangers in public, not the least of which is fear of how quickly such situations turn to violence. And as you point out, attempting to reason with him would have been futile.

Nevertheless, Miss Manners cannot help wishing that others in line had come forward, using their numbers as some protection, or that some postal authority had done so.

You, as the sole victim (was no one else wearing a mask?), need not feel deficient for having done nothing, which was the correct response. And you may be sure that any embarrassment others felt would not have been about you, but about themselves for feeling helpless.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My father died earlier this year. He was loving to his immediate family and a few friends, but to many others, he was very abrasive and obnoxious. Additionally, our extended family is unhealthy and negative.

My father did not want a big to-do when he passed. My sisters and I chose to have a private service for only our spouses and children and my father's best friend, so that we may mourn our father's passing without having to deal with any unnecessary issues.

I'm being given the message by others that the decision is selfish, and that we are disrespecting his memory by not allowing an open service.

Are we, his immediate family, within our rights to have a private service? Or are other people correct in casting judgment?

GENTLE READER: Your question is whether outsiders are within their rights to berate the bereaved; no, they are not.

But Miss Manners has noted, when the pandemic contracted or suspended funerals, the emptiness felt by people who may be beyond that immediate family but nevertheless crave the opportunity to pay their respects. To see someone simply disappear feels even worse than if there is a ceremonial leave-taking, sad as that is.

So the response she would suggest you make to that unwarranted criticism is, "Well, we preferred a private service. But we would be interested to hear what you might have said about him if we had asked you to speak at a public funeral."

This could provide a small outlet for their feelings, presumably following the rule against speaking evil of the dead. And if not, at least it would deflect them from going after you.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I'm an online dating coach, and I often work with female clients who are flooded with date requests the moment their profile pictures go live.

It's very common in online dating for women to reply selectively, ignoring the many messages from potential suitors who don't seem like a good match -- or who seem to have copied and pasted a dull boilerplate message to 100+ different women.

For the most part, I permit and even encourage such selective reply behavior.

However, I know you regularly indicate that all invitations, no matter how casual, deserve a reply. (I admit I'm sometimes guilty of not replying to online invitations, particularly since I receive messages to attend art exhibits or contribute to fundraising campaigns all over the globe.)

I'd like to get your take on replying to online dating messages and invitations. How diligent do you feel a lady must be in responding to potential suitors?

Is it appropriate to roughly match the amount of effort the suitor seems to have put into the message? For example, a message reading simply "Hi cutie :)" does not necessarily merit a response beyond "Hello," but a message thoughtfully indicating a suitor has read a woman's profile and would like to meet her in person for a nice outing would deserve a polite reply, even if the answer were ultimately in the negative.

This is strange new territory for traditional etiquette rules, but I think there's value in keeping them in mind. I'd love your opinion, both out of curiosity, and to have something to point my clients to, in print, that indicates they may wish to reconsider their communication tendencies!

GENTLE READER: Much as she appreciates your deference, Miss Manners must qualify that injunction to answer all invitations. All genuine invitations, yes, but solicitations do not qualify. If you are invited to the opening of a store that does not interest you, must you respond to the advertisement that invites you, even if it is addressed to you by name?

Online dating generally requires mutual agreement before socializing. Positive responses may lead to such, and therefore require the social niceties, but there seems little point in negative responses to opening overtures.

As everyone is self-declared as available, the little excuses of being busy are patently false, and the rejected person can only conclude that it is on the basis of appearance or other qualifications. Better to be left in doubt, consoling oneself with the notion that it is the non-respondent who is deficient.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My spouse's siblings obviously are my in-laws, but are their spouses my in-laws as well? Just wondering about terminology.

GENTLE READER: Do you like them?

In that case, yes; commonly, they are also referred to as in-laws. But if you really can't stand them, Miss Manners gives you leave to refer to such as "my brother-in-law's wife" and "my sister-in-law's husband."

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I've been working from home. One morning last week I was in the bathroom when my 5-year-old daughter barged in with my phone and yelled, "Phone call, Mommy!" It was my boss.

After a minute of chat, he chuckled and said, "I asked your daughter where you were, and she said, 'She's on the toilet.'"

I was so embarrassed! I said I'd call him back, and he said, "Oh, I just have a couple of quick questions." But I replied, "This is inappropriate," and he ended the call brusquely. Twenty minutes later, I called him back and we had a civil conversation. Was I wrong?

GENTLE READER: Not wanting to conduct business while you are ... well ... conducting business is certainly not wrong. But using the word "inappropriate" might have come off a bit brusque to your boss.

If the relationship has returned to being civil, however, Miss Manners would leave it alone -- or make a joke at some point about reinforcing boundaries with your daughter. The insinuation that you also must do so with him will no doubt be implicit.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: A friend of mine from high school, whom I have seen a few times in the intervening 50 years, came to my home with his wife. They suggested they would like a tour of our home, but I deflected this request.

Our home is relatively comfortable and well-kept, but not exceptional. I am a very private person and do not care to invite acquaintances, strangers or even friends to gawk at my personal space or paw through my belongings.

When we entered our home, my friend's wife began to wander freely throughout while I talked to her husband. From across an open area I saw her pick up items in my workspace or pull them aside to see what was beneath. I was so stunned by her rudeness that I said nothing at the time.

Can you please offer a polite rejoinder for such occasions? It seems inhospitable to call out, "As I implied earlier, I do not care to give you a tour of our home. Can you please join us, Megan?"

Loading the medicine cabinet with marbles is tempting, but installation and clean up would be very time-consuming.

Such a request from an acquaintance and a stranger who have arrived for a brief visit seems wildly inappropriate, but perhaps I am missing something here? Are requests for home tours now considered a polite means to express interest in others?

GENTLE READER: Unwitting guests who have been forcibly taken on such tours may now think so -- and suddenly feel required to ask.

A polite response to the inquiry might be, "Oh we don't want to bore you with that; there's really not much to see." And then Miss Manners suggests that you tell Megan that she will not want to miss appetizers in the living room -- and politely decline all requests for help in the kitchen.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)