DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am aware that you strongly advise people not to respond to rude behavior or bad manners in a similar way. How, though, can you express in a polite manner that the guilty party's behavior is not acceptable?
Permit me to explain my situation. I am an unemployed librarian. I have applied for many jobs, and the applications are submitted online. Last week I received a rejection email from a college. I had applied for the job six months ago!
I wanted to reply, "I think I gathered that," but I didn't. Some institutions wait months before they announce their hiring decisions, and some libraries treat the issue rather casually. People's lives are in limbo as they wait for decisions.
Is there a polite, but strong, rebuke, to people who wait months on end to let someone know that he did not get the job?
GENTLE READER: The polite ways to register offense are generally nonverbal, because they are meant to be subtle: a haughty look, a cold tone, a raised eyebrow.
Emails, which are devoid of context -- and which are often written and read quickly -- can barely convey simple messages without a risk of being misunderstood.
The polite way to convey your meaning is to be direct: "I am naturally disappointed that you did not choose me for the position, but I am sure there were many qualified candidates. It would have been gracious if you could have conveyed the news in a more timely fashion."
However, Miss Manners seriously questions the wisdom of doing so. Your criticism is likely to be dismissed as coming from a sore loser, and it is no good annoying someone who might be thinking of you as the runner-up if the first candidate fails.