DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have a real hard time with people who give their first child up for adoption and then continue having more.
Example: My brother-in-law gave up a child for adoption, then became a very successful person: retired Marine, business owner, real estate agent, broker, pilot, and the list goes on. He's been married for 30 years and adopted his wife's firstborn (although he has nothing to do with him now) and has had three children with his wife.
My husband feels there's nothing wrong with this. Am I wrong for feeling he should never have had more? And I dang sure don't think the family should put him on a pedal stool (sic). Oh, and the child he gave up lives in our hometown, while my brother-in-law lives out of state. It is hush-hush.
Can you give me your opinion?
GENTLE READER: To keep yours to yourself. Reasons for having, not having, adopting, giving up or otherwise handling one's family situation and children are no one else's business -- unless the children are in actual danger.
Miss Manners fears that your real objection is about the pedestal on which you perceive the family has put your brother-in-law for his unrelated professional accomplishments. She strongly suggests that you learn to accept or ignore that, too.