DEAR MISS MANNERS: Before the pandemic, I attended, along with a few other colleagues, a casual dinner party hosted by my boss. The six of us were gathered around the kitchen island, enjoying hors d’oeuvres and wine. I was drinking a glass of red.

My boss placed onto the island our buffet-style meal, including a bubbling macaroni-and-cheese casserole hot from the oven.

Just then, as I took a sip of wine, my boss said something hilarious. I instantly laughed, as did everyone else, but I spewed droplets of red wine onto the macaroni and cheese. My boss did not see it, but I’m pretty sure others did. I took a clean tissue and quickly dabbed my spit droplets from the casserole’s top. Some attendees saw me do this, others did not.

What should I have done? Announced my gaffe and removed the casserole entirely from the menu? Refrained from macaroni-blotting?

I feel that my question bears weight, especially when our society moves back toward socializing without masks.

GENTLE READER: Not a good idea, especially if you and your funny boss are around.

Before the pandemic, this is the sort of blameless gaffe for which you should have delivered a hilarious confession that would make everyone sympathize with you. Schadenfreude would have kicked in, and some people would have said that a little wine didn’t hurt, while others would have just skipped that dish.

Your other choice would have been to change your name and move to another country, taking the offending macaroni bowl with you.

But we have all learned a different standard of hygiene, and nobody is going to laugh at what would now be considered a deadly weapon.

So please do not let this happen again. If it did, you would have to make an abject confession to your boss, insist on ordering rapid takeout, and polish your resume.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My wife and I are blessed with a wonderful family. The problem is that one of our kids likes to give us outsized books as gifts.

These are NOT coffee-table size: The latest is 20 pounds. These books are on subjects that we enjoy, but it’s just not comfortable to read them. What would you advise?

GENTLE READER: An idea for your children on the next occasion that they want to give you a present: a lectern, with adjustable height, so that you can use it while seated or standing. Meanwhile, if you have a sturdy music stand around, try that. (Total disclosure: Miss Manners has art books like that. She reads them on the floor.)

If you just want smaller books, she suggests talking enthusiastically with the givers about the subject matter or an illustration, and volunteering to show it to them. Then you say, “But would you mind holding it for me, please, as it’s too heavy for me to manage.”

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: A few years ago, I was riding my motorcycle and pulled into a parking lot. I noticed a woman coming out of a coffee shop and pausing to look at me. Yes, I looked at her for a brief second as I parked. I then pulled out my phone and looked up my destination, still sitting on my bike.

This woman came up to me and said hi. I said hi back, and then she proceeded to ask me if I could take off my helmet -- she said she wanted to see how old I was because the helmet always throws her off. I thought, “You have some nerve!”

I wonder what you would think, Miss Manners, if I walked up to your car window and knocked and said, “Hi, could you roll down your window so I can see if you’re pretty or young enough for me?” I bet that would go very well.

This isn’t the only incident that I have experienced with brazen women, but it is the most egregious.

Dating in the U.S. is one-sided. The average woman has 100 messages in her dating apps and the average guy has seven. It truly is a woman’s world and us average guys are left feeling like we are on display, or like we are back in elementary school, hoping someone will pick us in a game of Red Rover, but never getting picked.

Please advise me where I can find a woman who values the content of my character more than the beauty that I have, which is only skin-deep.

GENTLE READER: The argument that this is a woman’s world -- and that men are only regarded for their looks -- is not going to gain much traction, Miss Manners is afraid. Nor make you any more popular.

However, it is true that no human, of any gender, should be treated as you describe. In your situation, you might have said, “I beg your pardon? My helmet is on for my own protection” and left the impertinent woman to ponder from what -- or whom -- you were actually being protected.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I live in a condo, and the upstairs tenants have three children. I understand that kids generate a lot of laundry, but on some occasions, they run their washing machine late at night and it interrupts my sleep.

I was going to write a note asking that they please refrain from using their washer after 10 p.m. because it is noisy and prevents me from sleeping. Is there a better way to say this?

GENTLE READER: With three children living above you, Miss Manners considers you lucky that only the late-night laundry is costing you sleep.

You might point that out in your note, thereby making it all the more gracious: “You and your children are so thoughtful and light-footed that it pains me to ask you, but would it be possible to run the washing machine during earlier, waking hours?” Then quietly rest up for the children’s adolescence.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Both of my parents died fairly recently at ripe old ages (90 and 98). As the writer in the family, I collected relevant information, drafted both of their obituaries and asked my siblings to review them and make suggestions. I have also been asked to write obituaries for several of my friends’ family members.

I regularly read the obits published in newspapers and online to get ideas on how to make these important memorials interesting, informative and meaningful.

Being in my 60s, I decided to draft my own obituary to make things easier for my husband and children when I eventually die. I have been honored and privileged to be designated as godmother of four people -- all children of various close friends. I have taken this responsibility seriously, and, except for one instance where the mother’s erratic behavior made it impossible, I have been involved and supportive throughout my godchildren’s lives. They are all now adults, and we have very cordial relationships.

Would it be proper to mention my godchildren in my obituary? If so, should I mention all four, or just the three with whom I am close? What would be a good way to phrase it?

GENTLE READER: An obituary traditionally only includes those who are directly related or who assume that status through marriage. While it is gracious of you to want to include your godchildren, it would be still more gracious to tell them now how much they mean to you.

Otherwise, Miss Manners fears that your obituary will look like a lengthy acceptance speech, thanking everyone who touched your life for getting you where you are today -- well, not the “today” of the obituary, but before your demise. This is a hazard of writing your own obituary.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: What is the etiquette related to eating ramen noodles? They are sloppy and slide off the fork easily.

Since I can’t seem to find an etiquette-able way to eat them, should I just not eat them in public?

GENTLE READER: The method is similar to that of spaghetti -- even if the noodles are annoyingly more slippery. Miss Manners suggests that you take this time at home to practice the twirling skill in private. The slurping noise that accompanies it, however, is considered more sloppy than appreciative in the West.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: A question for you about living rooms. I have no other way of putting this except to give an example: A family sits down in the living room after dinner and everyone takes out their book to read. Everyone is silent except for one person, who is being very loud and rambunctious. Finally, one person, fed up with the noise, asks them to please stop and go elsewhere if they will continue to be loud. Who is being rude?

GENTLE READER: Is the rambunctious person trying to make conversation? Or protesting reading time in favor of family togetherness? In either case, Miss Manners suggests that the terms of the living room’s use should be made clear on any given evening. Otherwise, it should be renamed the library -- and another room designated for more verbal activity.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)