DEAR MISS MANNERS: Both of my parents died fairly recently at ripe old ages (90 and 98). As the writer in the family, I collected relevant information, drafted both of their obituaries and asked my siblings to review them and make suggestions. I have also been asked to write obituaries for several of my friends’ family members.

I regularly read the obits published in newspapers and online to get ideas on how to make these important memorials interesting, informative and meaningful.

Being in my 60s, I decided to draft my own obituary to make things easier for my husband and children when I eventually die. I have been honored and privileged to be designated as godmother of four people -- all children of various close friends. I have taken this responsibility seriously, and, except for one instance where the mother’s erratic behavior made it impossible, I have been involved and supportive throughout my godchildren’s lives. They are all now adults, and we have very cordial relationships.

Would it be proper to mention my godchildren in my obituary? If so, should I mention all four, or just the three with whom I am close? What would be a good way to phrase it?

GENTLE READER: An obituary traditionally only includes those who are directly related or who assume that status through marriage. While it is gracious of you to want to include your godchildren, it would be still more gracious to tell them now how much they mean to you.

Otherwise, Miss Manners fears that your obituary will look like a lengthy acceptance speech, thanking everyone who touched your life for getting you where you are today -- well, not the “today” of the obituary, but before your demise. This is a hazard of writing your own obituary.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: What is the etiquette related to eating ramen noodles? They are sloppy and slide off the fork easily.

Since I can’t seem to find an etiquette-able way to eat them, should I just not eat them in public?

GENTLE READER: The method is similar to that of spaghetti -- even if the noodles are annoyingly more slippery. Miss Manners suggests that you take this time at home to practice the twirling skill in private. The slurping noise that accompanies it, however, is considered more sloppy than appreciative in the West.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: A question for you about living rooms. I have no other way of putting this except to give an example: A family sits down in the living room after dinner and everyone takes out their book to read. Everyone is silent except for one person, who is being very loud and rambunctious. Finally, one person, fed up with the noise, asks them to please stop and go elsewhere if they will continue to be loud. Who is being rude?

GENTLE READER: Is the rambunctious person trying to make conversation? Or protesting reading time in favor of family togetherness? In either case, Miss Manners suggests that the terms of the living room’s use should be made clear on any given evening. Otherwise, it should be renamed the library -- and another room designated for more verbal activity.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am a middle-aged woman and I live alone. Across the street from me lives a family with young children, whom I am quite friendly with.

During this pandemic, the kids have taken up baking as an activity to do at home. A few months ago, their mother began leaving trays of baked goods at my doorstep.

I was touched by the thought, but these items are, to be honest, not very good, seeing as they’re baked by young children. Plus, it’s an enormous amount of neon-colored icing and sprinkles! I thanked the kids and complimented them on their baking skills, as any friend would, but tossed the baked goods out.

My problem is that now the family brings me the kids’ creations in great volume, at least twice a week, with notes saying they are working hard to bake more for me since I like it so much!

Is there a kind way to gently refuse these gifts, or at least to cut down on their frequency? Or is the kindest thing to simply continue graciously accepting them and throwing them out?

They’re delightful neighbors and I am so grateful that the kids think of me.

GENTLE READER: Then let’s not insult them.

This can be accomplished, Miss Manners is confident, without submitting to a mountain of sprinkles and icing. It merely requires tact.

First, no hurtful truths. Neither the baking team of Jenna and Josh, nor their mother, needs to know that the cake batter didn’t fully set or that there was a button in the M&M topping.

Second, no accusations. We will not suggest that they are trying to kill you because you are diabetic or lactose-intolerant or neon-phobic.

Third, no extraneous information. What became of the last batch is irrelevant.

And finally, no lies -- at least, not ones that are likely to be exposed. We will not be confiding that your bridge group loved the cookies if your partner is the children’s third-grade teacher.

Call Jenna and Josh’s mother (we do not want the young bakers in on the conversation), thank her profusely, but explain that, grateful as you are, it is just more than you can possibly consume. And if you have neighbors of whom you are not overly fond, you could add that they might enjoy some treats.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Is it acceptable to mix up foods on your plate or in a bowl prior to eating them?

For example, if you have bananas, pudding and whipped cream in a bowl, must you mix each bite individually? Or is it acceptable to mix the bowl up and then take bites?

GENTLE READER: One of the functions of table manners is to help dinner partners ignore all the mixing, mashing and masticating going on in close proximity. Operations that can be carried out without drawing attention are likely acceptable.

But as Miss Manners realizes this is an imprecise directive, she suggests you avoid activities that may test its limits -- and learn to slice vertically through that bowl.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Degradation of the English language has become a prickly burr under my tail. While speaking with someone, if they say 6 times 5 equals 35, it is not considered impolite to correct them and say no, it’s 30. So why is it considered impolite to correct someone’s grammar?

GENTLE READER: Even in the halcyon days when we naively thought that facts were immutable and universal, there were problems with your premise. Miss Manners has no trouble imagining rude ways to correct a person’s multiplication.

As she is in the business of making the world more polite, not less, she will limit herself to one general example: delivering said correction in a way that belittles or embarrasses the recipient. It is to avoid such a result that etiquette has rules against correcting others. And of course, there are exceptions -- responding to a request, teaching, saving someone from a worse fate (like underpaying the dinner bill) -- many of which still require careful handling.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: We are throwing a small baby shower for my niece and would like to put a small note in the invitations requesting that everyone be aware and please make sure they have not been exposed to COVID-19. Any suggestions how to word this? Obviously in a polite way!

GENTLE READER: A small observation: Miss Manners sympathizes with your desire not to have your guests put your own, or one another’s, lives at risk. But this is not the way to accomplish it.

Guests who have been careful during the pandemic will be offended at the suggestion that they were not. Guests who have not been careful during the pandemic will be offended that you think they should have been. And no one will change their behavior.

Surely that guest list is small because it is limited to a very few people you know extremely well. Go over it again with your niece, and eliminate anyone about whom either of you has doubts. If this makes it impossible to assemble even a small party, surely that is valuable information.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I attended my daughter’s grade school program, an annual event that was completely reimagined in light of the COVID-era restrictions. I could tell that her teachers put in tremendous hours of preparation in order to make it a success.

After the program, I sent an email to her teachers expressing my gratitude and complimenting them on a job well done. I copied the principal and the headmaster of the school.

I did not receive an email in return. When someone takes the time to send you an email of praise and thanks, is it necessary to respond?

GENTLE READER: Ordinarily, thank-you letters do not require a response for the practical reason that even Miss Manners cannot spend all day writing thank-you letters for thank-you letters for thank-you letters.

She does, however, agree that it feels wrong not to have your spontaneous, unexpected -- and non-mandatory -- gratitude acknowledged. Note that this advice is only of practical use when you, yourself, are the recipient of such a letter. Being mad at the overworked teacher who did such a lovely job on your daughter’s program is unproductive.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)