DEAR MISS MANNERS: Degradation of the English language has become a prickly burr under my tail. While speaking with someone, if they say 6 times 5 equals 35, it is not considered impolite to correct them and say no, it’s 30. So why is it considered impolite to correct someone’s grammar?

GENTLE READER: Even in the halcyon days when we naively thought that facts were immutable and universal, there were problems with your premise. Miss Manners has no trouble imagining rude ways to correct a person’s multiplication.

As she is in the business of making the world more polite, not less, she will limit herself to one general example: delivering said correction in a way that belittles or embarrasses the recipient. It is to avoid such a result that etiquette has rules against correcting others. And of course, there are exceptions -- responding to a request, teaching, saving someone from a worse fate (like underpaying the dinner bill) -- many of which still require careful handling.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: We are throwing a small baby shower for my niece and would like to put a small note in the invitations requesting that everyone be aware and please make sure they have not been exposed to COVID-19. Any suggestions how to word this? Obviously in a polite way!

GENTLE READER: A small observation: Miss Manners sympathizes with your desire not to have your guests put your own, or one another’s, lives at risk. But this is not the way to accomplish it.

Guests who have been careful during the pandemic will be offended at the suggestion that they were not. Guests who have not been careful during the pandemic will be offended that you think they should have been. And no one will change their behavior.

Surely that guest list is small because it is limited to a very few people you know extremely well. Go over it again with your niece, and eliminate anyone about whom either of you has doubts. If this makes it impossible to assemble even a small party, surely that is valuable information.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I attended my daughter’s grade school program, an annual event that was completely reimagined in light of the COVID-era restrictions. I could tell that her teachers put in tremendous hours of preparation in order to make it a success.

After the program, I sent an email to her teachers expressing my gratitude and complimenting them on a job well done. I copied the principal and the headmaster of the school.

I did not receive an email in return. When someone takes the time to send you an email of praise and thanks, is it necessary to respond?

GENTLE READER: Ordinarily, thank-you letters do not require a response for the practical reason that even Miss Manners cannot spend all day writing thank-you letters for thank-you letters for thank-you letters.

She does, however, agree that it feels wrong not to have your spontaneous, unexpected -- and non-mandatory -- gratitude acknowledged. Note that this advice is only of practical use when you, yourself, are the recipient of such a letter. Being mad at the overworked teacher who did such a lovely job on your daughter’s program is unproductive.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I realize that delivery services send a notice when a package has been delivered. However, I also appreciate hearing from the recipient that the package successfully made it into their hands, undamaged and intact. The number of thefts from people’s porches has recently increased, so I don’t think it’s unreasonable to expect an acknowledgment that a package arrived safely.

When I didn’t receive an acknowledgment from my niece regarding a gift I sent to my 4-year-old great-niece, I sent a text, asking her if she got the package. I didn’t receive a reply for another week, and when I did, it was: “Yes, she loved it.”

That was the complete text. I don’t expect a follow-up thank-you note, but felt a little disappointed in her belated and curt reply.

I’m glad my great-niece loved it, but it almost felt like my niece was put out for having to reply. I know she is very busy, but it takes only a few seconds to add the words “Thank you!” And it takes the same amount of time to respond whether one waits a day or a week, so why keep the sender waiting and wondering if their gift was received? Am I expecting too much?

GENTLE READER: Some people are indeed expecting too much. Your niece evidently expects people to pay tribute to her and her daughter without their deigning to take notice.

You are expecting too little. Asking whether a present has been received long served as the polite way to complain that, rather, it is thanks that have not been received. As you point out, tracking and delivery notices have blown that cover.

But why are people -- it’s not just you -- ashamed to admit that they want to be thanked for their generosity?

The purpose of giving a present is to please the recipient. Why do gift-givers feel selfish if they want to know that it worked? The very company from which you bought it will probably pelt you with pleas to say whether you were pleased with the product and the service.

Miss Manners has always believed that people who do not acknowledge presents are annoyed at receiving them, and she respects that preference.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: How should an immediate family celebrate birthdays as spouses and grandchildren enter the picture?

We have a history of scheduling a celebration for every single birthday, moving it from the day-of to weekends or to whenever everyone can come. With parents, six adult kids, spouses and now grandchildren, this has become exhausting.

How does one gracefully change the tempo? And what (if anything) should it be changed to?

GENTLE READER: As these gatherings have presumably been suspended during the pandemic, you have an excellent chance to redesign them. The key is not to say that you are exhausted, but that you are afraid that others must be.

Some might protest, so Miss Manners suggests jumping in with the idea that you have monthly parties to celebrate all of that month’s birthdays.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: During the entire quarantine, my “friends” have been getting together with people from their extended families and other friends for continuous parties and holiday celebrations -- like 26 people!

My husband and I are following the stay-at-home orders. We have never been sick, thank goodness, and are not going to any events, not eating at indoor restaurants, etc. We’re only going to grocery stores.

I’m missing out on so many things and have lost touch with my friends, I guess due to my jealousy that they are still having a good time and seeing each other while I am at home.

I feel so conflicted and sad. Any suggestions on how to move forward, knowing I may not have these friends in the future?

GENTLE READER: Because they might forget you? Or because they are courting the virus and might not be around?

But you are not really looking into the future. You are just piqued and sad at being left out of the fun, even though it is because of your own good judgment.

Miss Manners understands and sympathizes. And she is glad that it is not taking the mean form of wishing your friends ill consequences.

Now let us consider the future, when it will be possible for you to see friends safely, including ones who escaped infection despite rash behavior.

That depends entirely on whether you and they have the strength never to mention the choices you made during the pandemic. If they crow about theirs, it would be unbearable. But should you speculate that they should have been made sorry, or even express bitterness at your sacrifice, it will not go over well.

If you feel that the friendships are worth saving, you could start now by keeping in touch virtually, listening to their doings without scolding them, and saying that you are looking forward to seeing them later.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Does it still hold true that one should blacken the wick of candles before displaying them? I think it looks nicer to have fresh candles on display, but a friend pointed out this is not correct. Is this practice archaic and obsolete?

GENTLE READER: Archaic and forgotten, possibly, but that does not mean that Miss Manners has taken it off the books. The rationale is to indicate that the candles are actually used, and not just there for show.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband and I jointly owned and worked full-time in a business for over 25 years, and last year, we sold the business and retired. Now when we bump into friends and acquaintances, they ask about his retirement: what is he doing with his time, etc.

They don’t even look at me, much less ask the same questions. Usually hubby will say things like, “Ella is volunteering at the animal shelter and has new hobbies” in an effort to include me. They usually nod and continue asking him questions.

I want to wave my hand and ask if I’m invisible! These are people who know full well that the business was ours, not just his. Is there anything I can say to include myself without sounding petty?

GENTLE READER: “I suppose you are wondering what I’ve been doing in my retirement.” Miss Manners hardly supposes that anyone would be rude enough to reply, “No, actually I’m not.”

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)