DEAR MISS MANNERS: During the entire quarantine, my “friends” have been getting together with people from their extended families and other friends for continuous parties and holiday celebrations -- like 26 people!

My husband and I are following the stay-at-home orders. We have never been sick, thank goodness, and are not going to any events, not eating at indoor restaurants, etc. We’re only going to grocery stores.

I’m missing out on so many things and have lost touch with my friends, I guess due to my jealousy that they are still having a good time and seeing each other while I am at home.

I feel so conflicted and sad. Any suggestions on how to move forward, knowing I may not have these friends in the future?

GENTLE READER: Because they might forget you? Or because they are courting the virus and might not be around?

But you are not really looking into the future. You are just piqued and sad at being left out of the fun, even though it is because of your own good judgment.

Miss Manners understands and sympathizes. And she is glad that it is not taking the mean form of wishing your friends ill consequences.

Now let us consider the future, when it will be possible for you to see friends safely, including ones who escaped infection despite rash behavior.

That depends entirely on whether you and they have the strength never to mention the choices you made during the pandemic. If they crow about theirs, it would be unbearable. But should you speculate that they should have been made sorry, or even express bitterness at your sacrifice, it will not go over well.

If you feel that the friendships are worth saving, you could start now by keeping in touch virtually, listening to their doings without scolding them, and saying that you are looking forward to seeing them later.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Does it still hold true that one should blacken the wick of candles before displaying them? I think it looks nicer to have fresh candles on display, but a friend pointed out this is not correct. Is this practice archaic and obsolete?

GENTLE READER: Archaic and forgotten, possibly, but that does not mean that Miss Manners has taken it off the books. The rationale is to indicate that the candles are actually used, and not just there for show.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband and I jointly owned and worked full-time in a business for over 25 years, and last year, we sold the business and retired. Now when we bump into friends and acquaintances, they ask about his retirement: what is he doing with his time, etc.

They don’t even look at me, much less ask the same questions. Usually hubby will say things like, “Ella is volunteering at the animal shelter and has new hobbies” in an effort to include me. They usually nod and continue asking him questions.

I want to wave my hand and ask if I’m invisible! These are people who know full well that the business was ours, not just his. Is there anything I can say to include myself without sounding petty?

GENTLE READER: “I suppose you are wondering what I’ve been doing in my retirement.” Miss Manners hardly supposes that anyone would be rude enough to reply, “No, actually I’m not.”

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My mom has succumbed to fake news. She frequently shares outlandish information with me that she is passing off as fact.

Sure enough, when I look it up, it is usually related to some sort of internet hoax or misinformation. I think she's spending way too much time on social media, and I feel concerned for her.

How can I politely handle this? I have tried letting some pieces of "data" pass by, and actually challenging only a fraction of the claims she makes, or by selecting only the most serious or concerning (e.g., those related to inaccurate reasons not to get the coronavirus vaccine).

In these instances, I will verbally note confusion about the statement she made, then send her a link to a reliable website that debunks the theory. But I also imagine that could get annoying for her. Any recommendations?

GENTLE READER: Good-naturedly strike a deal: “I’ll stop sending you corrections when you stop sending me inaccuracies.”

DEAR MISS MANNERS: A cousin's child was married this weekend. It was delayed because of the pandemic. I am over 65, but this wedding was very important to me, so I attended. I had to drive 800 miles each way. The lodging was expensive. I gave them a nice present. I had visited his family regularly, and they visited me frequently, so I wasn't just a random guest.

At the rehearsal dinner, I was sitting with three of his mother's siblings who had traveled as far as I had. He and his intended visited with every table but spent only about five minutes with us before they were off.

The wedding was lovely, but because of the virus, there was no receiving line. The wedding party was outside getting pictures taken till dinner was ready and the groom's father went out and told them that was enough pictures.

Throughout the evening, the bride and groom visited tables and people, but never came near us. I never felt comfortable crashing their visit with other tables with people I didn't know.

I feel so sad that the feelings I have always had for him weren't reciprocated. I had always been told that the bride and groom should visit every table. I just felt ignored and not worth their time. Am I wrong to expect more than five minutes out of his time?

GENTLE READER: Yes, this was bad form. But Miss Manners would not balance the history of this relationship on this one event.

No doubt, since the couple came to see you during the rehearsal dinner, they crossed you off the list as successfully visited.

You are correct, however, that ignoring one’s guests for a lengthy photo opportunity is rude. That is where they could have spared some time -- and in the absence of which, you may bear resentment. For the sake of family harmony, Miss Manners will permit you to do so for the same amount of time that they were gone -- before you then forgive them and move on.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: There were two people in line in front of me in the grocery store, an adolescent boy and a man I assume was his father. They were pooling change to buy a can of soup. One can of soup.

I desperately wanted to give them some money to help them out, but I didn’t want to embarrass or offend them. How could I have helped without making a spectacle of any of us?

GENTLE READER: By catching the cashier’s attention and saying, “Why don’t you include that with mine?” And then, with an apologetic and warm look directed at the father and son, continuing with, “I’m in a bit of a hurry.”

If you are able to carry off just the right look, Miss Manners’ hope is that it will imply that they are doing you a favor -- and perhaps counter any embarrassment because you have done one for them.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: A very good friend's mother passed away recently. I promptly sent a condolences card by U.S. Mail upon learning of her passing.

Unfortunately, the same friend's father then died, literally less than a week later. All this must have been a terrible blow, and I am genuinely so sad for him and his family.

I suppose I should send a second card, but I feel like it seems untoward for some reason. (Especially since I use note cards from a purchased sets -- it then is obvious that I'm working through the same box of cards.)

Would one normally send two cards back-to-back like this? Should I at least switch up the type of note card that I use?

GENTLE READER: Given the doubly tragic circumstances, it seems highly unlikely that your friend is keeping track of your stationery. And if these cards are truly suitable for condolence letters, they are plain and unremarkable anyway.

Miss Manners does recommend, however, that you take pains to ensure that the content of your second letter is worded differently, and refers to the father, as the previous one was about the mother. Your friend’s grief will not likely sufficiently cloud their memory if the sentiments are (the handwritten version of) cut and pasted.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Where I live, it has become commonplace for cashiers and managers to ask whether you will leave a tip, even when the personal care is unworthy or the provider owns the salon.

I think the place could post a discreet sign or have a receipt with a line for tips. Otherwise, the customer is being publicly shamed.

Most of my personal care providers own the business, and I always give them a generous cash gift at year’s end. I really don’t think I have to explain this or be embarrassed by nosy questions. How would you respond?

GENTLE READER: “Not today, thanks” would be Miss Manners’ answer. When said pleasantly, it gives hope that the request will be fulfilled at some point -- but puts the timetable and manner firmly and rightfully in the customer’s hands.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)