DEAR MISS MANNERS: What’s the new lipstick rule? There’s got to be one, right?

I remember that a lady was never supposed to refresh her makeup in public, although I used to see women brushing their teeth on the bus.

The problem now is not being able to put on lipstick at home because you are going to be wearing a mask. Sure, you can put it on when you arrive wherever you are going, but then others see you do it. And besides, then it’s fresh, and you get it on the glasses when you drink.

GENTLE READER: This isn’t the beauty department, but Miss Manners would suppose that there are lipsticks or lip pencils that claim to be kiss-proof, or that you can blot into submission -- or go for a look that concentrates on the eyes.

She will now scurry back to her own jurisdiction.

It has been a century since etiquette conceded that “ladies who painted” (not a reference to Mary Cassatt) might not be entirely lost to salvation. It permitted them to bring out a tiny compact, preferably jeweled, for a slight touch-up.

This was probably a mistake, because soon they were startling onlookers by drawing on their eyes. As you point out, grooming of all kinds has gone public. You can see the entire routine just by pulling up next to another car at a red light.

But if you promise to limit yourself to a quick application and blotting of lipstick, preferably while you park your coat before appearing to others in your pod, she will grant you an emergency suspension of the old rule.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Because of safety concerns, I only invited a select few people to my physical wedding ceremony. Many friends attended virtually.

We received a mix of well wishes, money and gifts from our registry. I was shocked at the spectrum, as the money divide was quite large: Some people gave us $25, some more than $500. I’ve appreciated all the gifts a lot, as I spent as much as a “real” wedding would have cost. And with these crazy times, money is often tight for people.

Some of these friends have upcoming weddings of their own -- some virtual, some not. I was under the impression that about $100 per person was the usual amount to give, but it feels awkward giving that when that wasn’t what we received.

If a guest attends virtually (and doesn’t send a gift), do I give more for their physical wedding, even if I don’t attend? If they are having a virtual wedding, do I give them what they gave me? Are gifting rates different from in-person weddings to virtual ones, even though both are weddings?

GENTLE READER: Please stop this unseemly accounting. Nobody owed you a cent for getting married. Nor do you need to return the amount given when the donor is married.

If you cared about these people enough to invite them to your wedding, Miss Manners would think that you would want to celebrate theirs. There are no “gifting rates.” But the decent thing is to be generous to those whose circumstances are, as you say, tight.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Sadly, these days it’s not unusual to receive requests for prayer, action or positive thoughts for people going through difficulties. When one hasn’t heard any more about the situation in a week or two -- is the person out of the hospital or improving? Has a new job been found? Does the family perhaps need a meal? -- is there a polite way to inquire how things are?

Often, I’ll make a statement rather than ask a question, such as, “You’re still in my thoughts, and I hope things have improved for you. My offer of assistance still stands.” But I don’t get a response, and am still in the dark.

If the situation is still dire, I don’t want to intrude, but if the need has passed and I could be helpful to others, I’d like to move on.

GENTLE READER: There is no need to make these actions mutually exclusive. If those in need are able to ask for help, presumably they will reach out again if there is further necessity. In the meantime, Miss Manners assures you that you may safely otherwise direct your thoughts, prayers and generous deeds to others who may require it --whether they specifically reach out or not.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband and I were thrilled when I became pregnant -- in particular, because the baby would be my parents’ first grandchild, something that they’ve been looking quite forward to. I’m generally a very shy person, but as a consequence of their excitement, I made an effort to celebrate each step of my pregnancy with my family, including sharing sonograms, pictures and daily developments.

However, after my baby shower, and much to my surprise, my brother’s wife suddenly revealed that she, too, was expecting, and that her baby was scheduled to be delivered just days before mine. Why she’d concealed her pregnancy for so long, or how she’d been able to do so, have brought up countless questions, none of which have been answered.

My parents are ecstatic over the news, if not a bit overwhelmed. While I am happy for my sister-in-law and brother, I feel ridiculous that they let me amplify my pregnancy for so long while making no mention of their own. Is it too much to press them for an explanation, if not an apology?

GENTLE READER: For what exactly would your brother and sister-in-law be apologizing?

That you felt ridiculous, Miss Manners understands, but to demand an explanation for not wanting to update their relatives 270+ times in a year is unfair. In fact, this couple should be commended for their discretion and in granting you the spotlight, even if it was in the name of gratifying grandparental excitement. (And are you certain that their being overwhelmed is not at the prospect of now being doubly inundated with baby stimuli?)

There is a current and prevailing thought that public advertising of personal events should not be shamed. The same courtesy should be granted for those who wish to keep it private.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I work at a small company in a relatively small and tight-knit industry, and was previously an officer in our industry’s national association.

Last summer, my wife died unexpectedly after several months of illness. The outpouring of sympathy I received was very comforting. Many industry colleagues sent emails, cards or flowers. Others left comments or likes on a co-worker’s post about my wife’s passing on his and our company’s social media websites.

Through all of this, there was one person I expected to hear from, but didn’t: a former co-worker who had left to work for a larger company in another state at the beginning of my wife’s illness. My company had a farewell party for him on his last day, which I was unable to attend because I had to drive my wife to a medical appointment. I sent him an email explaining this and wishing him well in his new job. He sent me a cordial reply.

Several times each year, when my wife and I had entertained visiting customers, or potential customers, in our home, we made a point to include this co-worker in the dinners. My wife enjoyed his and his partner’s company.

I had assumed that he would at least have sent some form of condolences when she died. I heard nothing, and am somewhat hurt and perplexed by this. I know that he knows of my wife’s death. The same day that a co-worker made a post about her passing, this former co-worker left a comment on another, unrelated post there.

I will probably encounter this person at a future industry convention. How should I react? At this point, my instinct would be to ignore or avoid him completely. If he were to sit at the same dinner table or enter the same elevator, my reaction would be to quickly and quietly leave, to avoid any unpleasantness.

I know that it is probably unreasonable for me to tell him that I am hurt that he never acknowledged my wife’s death or my loss, and I’m not sure if I could ever bring myself to do so anyway. What do you suggest that I do if I encounter him?

GENTLE READER: Presume the best. Yes, it is possible that he is unreasonably angry that you did not attend his last day at work and is now committing a disproportionate retaliation. But it is also possible that his heartfelt condolence letter got lost in the mail. Or something in between.

Before you shun him, Miss Manners recommends that you proceed as though it were the latter. You may say something like, “It is good to see you again. You know, Alicia was such a fan of yours ...” And then leave an opening for him to express condolences, explain his lack of response -- or reenact it. In which case, you may proceed without counting him as a friend.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: How can I let people know I don’t like being addressed by my first name?

GENTLE READER: Tell them.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)