DEAR MISS MANNERS: On a recent Saturday, after eating lunch, I walked out to where my car was parked on the street. A car pulled up near me and the woman driving asked, “Are you leaving?” I responded, “Not yet.” I realize, in hindsight, that she must have misheard me as saying “Yes.”

I got in my car and got ready to brush my teeth. You see, I have an orthodontic device, and, pursuant to my dentist’s instructions, I have to take it out to eat and then brush my teeth before I put it back in. I had water bottles set up in the car for the purpose of rinsing and spitting.

As I was brushing my teeth, the woman in the other car pulled up in front of me. As I brushed, she occasionally inched closer to my car. Finally, she did a three-point turn and parked on the other side of the street.

This all happened within a matter of minutes. As she walked by, she shouted to me, “I thought you said you were leaving.”

“I said, ‘Not yet,’” I responded.

She then said that I could have pulled up and let her have the spot while I brushed my teeth, and that what I did was rude.

“Really?” I said. When she said “yes,” I responded, “Have a nice life.”

She then said, “Go away! Go back where you come from!” (That was kind of an odd thing to say. This took place in New York, and I’m from Connecticut.) I left, so that was the end of the exchange.

Most of the people I have told about this incident thought that I had the right to keep the spot until I was ready to leave. One friend told me that what he says in such a situation is, “I need a few minutes,” which would be less likely to be heard as “Yes” than what I said.

However, one friend said the kind thing to do would have been to give her the spot and then brush my teeth elsewhere. Honestly, that did not cross my mind at the time. This friend also thought that our exchange was ridiculous for two adults. What do you think?

GENTLE READER: The etiquette around parking spaces is closer to that of checkout lines than that of rental apartments. People at the back of a line can expect those in front of them to make reasonable efforts to expedite things. People moving into a new rental can have no reasonable expectation that you will clear out weeks before your lease expires.

Miss Manners realizes that the person coming and the person going may have different ideas of what is reasonable. Whatever your own definition was, it will go over better if you acknowledge the other party’s needs by appearing to go as quickly as you can. The other party is then expected to refrain from glaring or showing other obvious signs of displeasure.

Had your response to “Are you leaving?” been, “I’m so sorry. I’m almost ready but I do need a minute,” you might have avoided the subsequent unpleasantness.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: You have endorsed discreetly regifting, donating or returning unwanted gifts. Amen to that. However, one of the examples you provided of an unwanted gift was a donation, “in the recipient’s name,” to a charity that the recipient opposed. Obviously, such a gift cannot be regifted, donated or returned.

I doubt the charity would return the money if the recipient asked for it, although it might at least dissociate his name from the donation and refrain from sending him appeals for further donations (and from providing his name to other such charities -- by far the worst consequence of this “gift,” in my book).

The only solution I can think of -- other than confronting the giver and telling him it was a bad gift -- is to retaliate with an equal (or larger) donation, in the giver’s name, to a charity with the opposite mission and goals. Or perhaps to graciously express an intention to do so the following year.

But this seems too much like answering rudeness with rudeness. Do you have any other suggestions? Is it relevant whether the giver knows of the recipient’s objections to the charity?

GENTLE READER: The giver’s intentions are highly relevant, as there may not be any rudeness to “confront.” A gift that is not to your taste may be thoughtless without being an intentional affront.

In that case, a tepid thank-you (“Thank you for thinking of me”) is in order. If, instead, the choice of charities was meant to irk, then the tone of your thank-you letter can be decidedly different: “Thank you for thinking of me. As you know, I disagree with the goals of the charity you have selected and am therefore unable to accept your gift.”

Miss Manners urges you not to be too literal-minded about what it means to refuse a gift not in your possession. In either scenario, it would be well to call the charity and ask that your name be dissociated from the gift, as well as being removed from any lists of people they intend to dun.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My son is 7 years old and writes lovely thank-you cards.

His uncles and aunts have always been generous with gifts. Lately when they give him something, they tell him not to send a thank-you. They tell him thanking family is a waste.

My son is confused. So am I. How should we proceed?

GENTLE READER: Somebody needs retraining, but it is not your son. It is time to take the uncles and aunts aside and explain that you feel this is an important parenting lesson and you would appreciate their cooperation.

If their intention was merely to save Noah the effort of writing a letter, they will not object. And if they are thinking you are hopelessly old fashioned and no one writes thank-you letters anymore, you will, by making this about not interfering with your parenting, limit their ability to object. The good news is that you should not have to do this more than once or twice per uncle and aunt.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Thank you for being a thank-you card activist. I was not raised with this practice, and shamefully did not do a thorough job after my wedding, which is something I will always have to live with. But I swear I have mended my ways since.

Nowadays, one’s presents are often delivered directly to one’s home from an online store, and the giver of the gift is able to track the delivery. Oftentimes upon delivery, the giver texts the receiver to confirm that they found the package; sometimes, they even call.

During such a call or text, one is apt to repeat the contents of the thank-you card one wrote within 20 minutes of receiving the gift. Should one do their best to avoid repeating those things during the call or text exchange, so that the card is not redundant?

Some of these givers are not thank-you card senders -- they thank via text or call -- so their mode of action is not in line with the expectation of a card. I like to send cards, but do people who do not send or expect them like to receive them? Am I pushing my ways on them by insisting on sending a card and saving the best of my expression for that format? Am I obliged to have a call and send a card if only the former is the giver’s expectation?

GENTLE READER: The only people who are annoyed at receiving letters of thanks, or other courtesies, are those who resent good manners in others because it shows up their own rudeness.

For them, Miss Manners recommends making it clear that you are not merely observing a duty. Something like, “I can’t help telling you how delighted I was to receive your kind present.”

The instant reaction, by telephone or text, is only necessary to reassure the giver that the item has arrived -- because, of course, you write those letters immediately so there will be only a short gap. You do need to put in your thanks, but by all means, save your eloquence for the letters, where it looks so much better.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Which of these is the proper way to thank a friend for a gift certificate? Immediately thank them upon receiving the gift certificate; thank them upon purchasing something with it, and include details of what it is and how much you enjoy it (provided, of course, the certificate is used in a timely manner); or, thank them immediately for the certificate, and follow up with another thank-you once a gift is purchased with it?

GENTLE READER: A gift certificate puts the burden on the recipient, but not to the unreasonable extent of having to write two letters. Miss Manners considers it quite enough to give thanks for the generosity and mention the pleasure they will have in choosing what to buy.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Is it rude to sell a gift that was received, but will not be used?

GENTLE READER: Only if the giver finds out about it.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)