DEAR MISS MANNERS: My daughter is getting married soon. Due to COVID, the wedding has been scaled down from 75 people to 20, and from four bridesmaids to one maid of honor.

After the wedding, my daughter wants to have her bridal bouquet dried and preserved. She was told to save as many flowers from the bouquet as possible, in order to ensure enough flowers make it to be preserved.

The bridal and maid of honor bouquets will look the same, so after the wedding, the bride wants to take both to ensure she has plenty of flowers to get preserved.

I feel the maid of honor’s bouquet belongs to her maid of honor and not to the bride, but my daughter says it belongs to her because she paid for it. I feel her one and only attendant will be hurt if she is not allowed to keep her own bouquet. Your thoughts, please.

GENTLE READER: Those thoughts are all with the poor bridegroom, about to join his life to that of someone who is ready to grab things away from her presumably best friend, and believes that money justifies her doing so.

Traditionally, it is the bridegroom, and not the bride, who buys the bride’s bouquet. So Miss Manners suggests that you tell him the problem. He can then order an enormous bouquet for her, presuming he does not run for the hills.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Is it acceptable to simply stop responding to invitations from a group of friends after I have consistently declined over a period of time?

I’ve never felt close to a particular group of my high school friends, but they have get-togethers eight to 12 times per year, which I have attended on and off the 40 years since graduation. I would go, hoping I’d enjoy it “this time,” but rarely did.

I’ve been declining lately, but would rather just bow out completely and forever. I’m not doing them any favors with my halfhearted presence, and I’d rather just focus on the friends I am close to. At what point can I just ignore the email invites, if ever?

GENTLE READER: After your 40 years of infrequent attendance, your high school friends have been talking about dropping you from the list, Miss Manners assures you. But they are afraid that might hurt your feelings. And surely you do not want to hurt theirs.

So the easiest thing is to keep declining those invitations. No excuse is necessary. But if that is really too much of a nuisance, you could write to the organizer, saying that it is unfortunate that you keep missing their gatherings, but want them to know that you wish them all well -- a statement that is clearly associated with a lengthy departure.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Is it more personal to use “to” or “for” (as in “A Gift For You”) on a gift tag?

GENTLE READER: Although she prefers to write “for,” Miss Manners is not one to quibble with good intentions and generous actions, especially those directed toward herself.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: During my morning video chats for work, my dad always wakes up late, makes lots of noise in the kitchen (where I work) and eats right in front of me.

He is a not-so-pleasant eater, and I can never unmute because they would hear him chewing. He walks right by me so that everyone can see him. I have asked him politely to move, but he says that this is the kitchen and so he is allowed.

I am not allowed to work anywhere else, due to my family’s workspaces. Can you help, please?

GENTLE READER: Unfortunately, Miss Manners cannot retrain your father, as, with the far greater claim of having to work, you have been unable to do. So let us shift to killing him with kindness.

Suppose you get up somewhat earlier, fix him a breakfast tray, and deliver it elsewhere, complete with covers or pots that will keep the food warm until he awakes. That way, you are doing him a favor, rather than asking him to do the minimal accommodation -- it can hardly be called a favor -- you require.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am a healthy 73-year-old mother of two married daughters. Since the pandemic, I have been very careful, wearing a mask and following all the recommendations regarding being safe.

My younger daughter and her family agree with me and follow the rules. I see them, with precautions.

My older daughter and her husband believe COVID is a hoax and refuse to wear masks. I have not seen them in person since February, nor have her sister and family.

The older, less careful, daughter is hurt that we won’t see her. She argues that we are being too careful and masks are not needed. I think she and her husband should respect my position and wear masks in my presence, especially since I am a senior and her mother. Do you agree?

GENTLE READER: The issue here is not so much that your older daughter and her family do not believe in wearing masks; it is that they would rather forgo your company than yield to your request that they wear them for the short time of a visit. It seems to Miss Manners that they can hardly have a claim to being hurt when they have so flagrantly hurt you.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am a 73-year-old female with a pleasant and young-sounding voice. I am in sales, and some of the men I speak with can get a little flirty before I actually meet them in person.

I would like to be able to say something that would tip them off that I’m (often) way older than they are before we meet. Any suggestions?

GENTLE READER: You could try using antique slang. But presuming that you are not yourself flirting during these calls, Miss Manners does not consider you responsible for failing to fulfill any hopes or fantasies these people may have developed during what is supposed to be a business call.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: It seems that Cobb and chopped salads are now on menus everywhere, and are as beautiful to look at as they are delicious to eat. My dilemma is how to eat them.

Does one toss it in one’s plate, so each bite contains a sample of a few ingredients? There usually isn’t a lot of room on the plate to do this neatly.

I drizzle a bit of dressing and eat a little from each section, working my way around the plate, adding dressing as needed once I reach the lower layers. But what is the preferred method?

GENTLE READER: When it comes to giant salads fitted in small bowls, one’s life -- and dry-cleaning bill -- is in one’s own hands. Your method is as good as any.

Miss Manners suggests you approach it like an archaeological dig, skillfully swirling and consolidating the further you approach the bottom. If it is any consolation, at least chopped and Cobb salads have the courtesy of coming in bite-sized pieces. Their cruel sibling, the wedge salad, is not so generous.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: For 50 years, I have enjoyed working with yarn. I gave complete baby sets (a sweater set, blanket and toy) to friends when their children came along. These were well received, with many compliments; pictures of them in use were shared with me, and I was frequently told these items would be saved as heirlooms for the baby’s own children.

Twelve or 15 years would go by, and the friend would tell me out of the blue, “I had to discard your beautiful baby set. We just don’t have room to keep EVERYTHING from Terrence’s childhood. I felt so terrible when I threw it in the dumpster.” (This is a mental image I do not enjoy, either!) Then in another 10 or 12 years, they announce their excitement to be welcoming a grandchild, and ask me to make another baby set.

While I understand the need to downsize, and that the gift is theirs to do with as they wish, I’m at a loss as to how to answer these requests. It feels as though they’re asking me to negate their guilt, while knowing they’ve discarded a symbol of our friendship.

Items are discarded for various reasons over time, but I would NEVER announce that I discarded someone’s gift, no matter the circumstances or amount of time passed!

Can you suggest how I can politely respond to the announcement that my gift has been discarded? In the past I have simply said, “I understand.” I now find great satisfaction in donating my creations to charities -- and not knowing their fate!

GENTLE READER: You cannot chastise them, but you can politely express disappointment.

Miss Manners suggests something like: “Oh, that is too bad. If you no longer had use for it, I am sure that someone else might have. Perhaps even Terrence’s children someday, knowing that he enjoyed it so. Well, if you find yourself in the same position again, I would happily keep it for you or donate it, rather than have it go to waste.”

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)