DEAR MISS MANNERS: As a female, is it inappropriate for me to give gifts of flowers to other females, or to males? What about potted plants, on occasions when I go over to someone’s house? Could I give a potted plant to a male as a gift, and should I casually mention that I won’t hold it against him if the plant doesn’t survive?

Do the same rules apply when giving flowers to little children? I think it would be nice to surprise a little girl with a cute bouquet for her birthday, or present a little boy or girl with a “botany project.”

Are there any colors/species that are totally inappropriate to give in any of these cases -- like, say, red roses for somebody else’s husband?

GENTLE READER: You caught Miss Manners. Up until that last point, she was going to admonish you for gendering the issue. Flowers are for everyone.

Flowers were once considered to convey coded language, and there is still some symbolism in a few of them (white lilies, for example, are generally associated with funerals), but a mixed bouquet can usually get around even that.

However, the floral industry and reality dating shows have indeed discouraged anyone from giving red roses to those who are not viable romantic interests. That would presumably include other people’s husbands. Fortunately, by your own assertion, they would not be able to take care of the flowers anyway.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Lately I have seen able-bodied people kick the automatic door button with their foot as they go into a shop. This is disgusting, as people with special needs use this button with their hands to enter establishments.

What is a nice way of telling these people that what they are doing is not fair to the people who actually need to use these buttons?

GENTLE READER: “I find that pushing the button with my elbow is more effective in making sure that I don’t spread or acquire germs.”

Alternatively, Miss Manners recommends that you take out some disinfectant and start spraying. In the current climate, it would hardly be considered rude or even noteworthy.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: When sending a letter or email to someone with a hyphenated last name, what is the proper way to address the recipient? Do I use the fully hyphenated name, such as Mrs. Jones-Smith? Or just the first part (Mrs. Jones) or the last (Mrs. Smith)?

What if you are addressing the letter to a married couple? Would it be Mr. Smith and Mrs. Jones-Smith, or just Mr. & Mrs. Smith?

GENTLE READER: The full hyphenated name should be used, with separate lines for each if the married couple’s names are different.

However, the owners of hyphenated names should be tolerant when it comes to mixing up the order or leaving out parts. Miss Manners suggests a compromise: that those with complicated names not complain if someone gets it wrong -- in return for not being teased about how many extra names their children will have to juggle when they one day marry another hyphenated name.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: We have a handyman, George, whom we have used for several years. He was originally recommended to us by a close friend, and a small group of us keep him pretty busy.

My husband and I have come to rely on George as a reliable and trustworthy helper, as we have aged out of doing many tasks ourselves, and we pay him generously. We have also learned George’s strengths and weaknesses: For instance, he is a terrible painter and a so-so landscaper, but a great plumber and a good electrician.

On two occasions, different neighbors have approached George when he is outside our house and inquired as to his availability to do jobs for them. I feel that this is 1. somewhat rude and 2. potentially unwise. Instead, I think that they should ask my husband and I whether we mind their “poaching” our employee. If they are wise, they should also ask our opinion of his skills.

I might add that on both occasions, the neighbors hired him and were disappointed by the painting work he did for them, which resulted in minor disputes over what he charged them.

Am I wrong to think that a neighbor should do us the courtesy of asking before trying to hire our handyman?

GENTLE READER: Your neighbors are properly barred from helping themselves to time you are paying for. Time for which you are not paying still belongs to George.

In theory, this means that asking a gardener for his card while you walk by him seeding the lawn is acceptable, if the exchange is quick. In practice, such requests usually lead to a longer discussion, which, if visible to George’s current employer, will be resented if he is being paid by the hour.

For that reason -- and to avoid the subsequent problem with George’s painting skills -- your neighbor would have been smarter to come to you for a recommendation. But you were saved the discomfort of admitting that George forgets to paint the wall behind the couch -- and afforded the revenge, without looking too ungracious, of pointing out that you could have saved them some trouble.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Growing up, I was always taught to set the table by putting the fork and knife on the right side of the plate, on top of the napkin. Placing them on the napkin prevented the fork and knife from touching the bare table.

Now I know it’s napkin, fork, plate, knife -- all in a row. Is it OK that the fork and knife are directly on the table, or does doing it this way properly require a placemat or tablecloth?

GENTLE READER: Etiquette makes no objection to forks or knives coming into direct contact with the table. And Miss Manners notes that, unless the meal is at a picnic table, it is just as likely to be sanitary as a placemat or tablecloth, since hosts who forget to keep the table clean are equally likely to be absent-minded about the cutlery.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My cousin “omitted” to tell me that her husband tested positive for COVID while he was abroad.

We have been talking quite often during this time, and when she expressed her fears regarding the virus, I assured her that any person can take some basic steps to prevent contamination.

She had mentioned that some of his colleagues were found sick, but never said anything about her husband. She only confessed that he had been sick after he returned, probably thinking that I might have found out anyway from another source.

Her attitude was, “He tested positive; haven’t I told you?” No. You haven’t. “Um, OK. He was sick, but he’s fine now. He’s doing well, and we expect a quick recovery.”

There was no other information after this news. I have had mixed feelings considering the dishonesty and lack of communication, and I have even questioned our friendship.

Later, I felt a little sorry for her situation, and planned to make a sympathy call to ask her if they needed any help. Just minutes before this planned call, a relative mentioned that my cousin’s family went on a trip to the mountains together with his brother’s family.

I feel very confused, and I don’t know how to proceed when I see her next.

GENTLE READER: If your cousin had come to dinner without telling you her husband’s medical condition, Miss Manners would better understand your complaint. Such an omission could have put your family at risk.

But she did not. She did not even omit to tell you -- she simply delayed, possibly out of embarrassment, and then tried to cover that delay in a clumsy way.

None of this makes you the victim. Since it is past time for you to express sympathy and support, when you do call, you may have to accept gracefully any coolness of tone on the part of your cousin.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: A friend’s wedding was postponed from last spring due to COVID-19. I had RSVP’d yes before positive cases in my state soared.

I have now rescinded my RSVP, because the event is unsafe. The bride is angry and doesn’t believe the deadly pandemic is real. Should I still send a gift?

GENTLE READER: Whether you should want to send a present will depend on how significant a rift was caused when you told the bride that she was endangering people’s lives.

It was once enough for Miss Manners to point out that doing so is not more polite simply because it is true. This was in the days when public health pronouncements were made by trained officials to the public (for whom there was always an exception to the above rule), rather than the other way around.

It remains true that the bride is unlikely to take the news well. A present might heal the rift, and you can even order it online while you are on the telephone discouraging Grandma from attending.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)