DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have an old friend from high school, and we carry on a very cordial correspondence via email and social media. Most of our exchanges are lighthearted and brief. We are both very busy, and I, especially, do not want to get bogged down with the need to read and respond to very long emails.

The problem for me is that my friend loves to travel -- and even more than the travel itself, he loves to write excruciatingly long, detailed trip reports. He emails these out with the expectation that everyone read them AND comment on them. And even though he can’t travel anymore due to COVID-19, he still writes up reports from decades-old trips! Every time he sends one, I want to pull my hair out, and I am already mostly bald!

I don’t want to hurt his feelings, but I can’t think of a tactful way to tell him I would rather read a book in the small amount of spare time I have rather than read and respond to another of his voluminous travel emails.

GENTLE READER: It is not often that Miss Manners has the chance to relieve people of the obligation of responding. You do have to respond to invitations with a definitive acceptance or expression of regret. You do have to respond to presents with letters of thanks. You do have to respond to your friend’s personal messages if you want to maintain the friendship.

But guess what? You do not have to respond to social media postings or mass emails, as these are not tailored to the recipient. They are more like press releases, widely distributed in the hope of catching some interest.

But if that seems callous to you, simply reply with “Nice trip!” This can be done without having to read the accounts. Or tearing out your remaining hair.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I know that dinner rolls and butter are not traditionally part of a formal dinner service, but if I do want to serve butter at the dinner table, how should I do so?

I have a collection of antique butter pats in various patterns that I would love to use, but I am wondering exactly how these were traditionally used. When I have tried to search online for “how to use butter pats,” most of the results refer either to slices of butter from a stick, or to implements for making and shaping butter -- not how to use these tiny plates.

GENTLE READER: Did you bookmark the link about shaping butter? Not if it’s about sculpting a chicken out of butter as a centerpiece, that is. But it may be useful if it has to do with making tiny shapes -- roses or pleated balls, for instance -- to put on those little plates, confusingly themselves called butter pats, which are for serving individual portions of butter.

You can just whack squares from a butter stick, of course. But such plates were generally forgotten, or pressed into humiliating service as inadequate ashtrays, and Miss Manners presumes you would like to make them proud again.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Please advise on how to converse in three (or more!) COVID “pods.” One couple is seated in each pod -- socially distanced, masked and alfresco -- but with no chance to circulate, except by changing seats with the other in the same pod.

As a host, I find that three separate conversations can take place simultaneously within three pods, and as guests must speak loudly to make up for the distance, the resulting sound levels, confusion, cross-talk and distractions are stressful and not enjoyable. I prefer that one person per pod speak at a time, with all others remaining silent, and the “baton” move from pod to pod as conversation flows.

When hosting, I encourage guests to speak and I remain silent while they are speaking. When a guest, I yield to the hosts and to other guests.

Needless to say, my wife disagrees and feels that guests should not be “controlled,” including by good example, if that penetrates their general obliviousness. She feels the noise level is a metric of sorts for the “success” of the event, and that I yield too readily to others.

Perhaps conversations at circular dining tables provide some lessons.

GENTLE READER: Hospitable people often have the mistaken idea that it would be an affront to offer guests any guidance.

Nonsense. Look at the way they hang bashfully around a private buffet table (there are no such inhibitions about a commercial one) until the host has to keep repeating, “Please go ahead” and handing the nearest guest a plate. Or if there is no seating plan, the way they stick to their own spouses, as if parties were a good time to discuss their problems with their computers or their children.

It is only when a social routine is well known to all participants that instruction does not seem necessary. (But Miss Manners has been kept busy with complaints about those who break the rules -- such as hosts who are vague about time and degree of formality, and guests who don’t give, or keep, definitive commitments.)

However, the socially distanced dinner party is a new form, in need of some order. It does bear resemblance to the round dinner table, where there is generally one conversation, but without the occasional opportunity for soft, side-by-side talk. And while a party of eight would be fine if seated together, more than six now would require a lot of acreage and handheld microphones.

It is not impolite to suggest that keeping to one conversation will make this work, and to ask if anyone would care to begin, or, for that matter, if one of the guests would like to lead it. If not, the hosts should be prepared with some opening lines. And along the way, they will have to keep reasonable order, with such prodding as, “I think Jenna wants to say something about that,” “But what do you think, Adam?” and “Just a second, Andy; I don’t think Chris is finished.”

Gentle guidance will save you from an unpleasantly chaotic evening punctuated by shouts of “What?”

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am an old single guy with no children, and as such, I feel I should be exempt from being expected to watch others’ “birthin’” videos. I know I can say “No, thank you,” but is it inappropriate of me to offer to watch a video of the conception instead?

GENTLE READER: Just please promise not to say that Miss Manners encouraged you by laughing.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My partner of 25+ years has a huge local extended family. They regularly and frequently gather for holidays, birthdays and minor celebrations. The celebration population varies from 25-50 people, from infants to septuagenarians.

These celebrations have continued well into the COVID-19 pandemic. No behavior has been modified. No face masks, no social distancing. Potlucks and hugs all around.

I told my partner I am not participating in any future family celebrations until a vaccine is available.

I am now the bad guy. Not only am I “pooping the party,” but I am also holding the family’s favorite uncle hostage. (Staying home with me was his free choice, but he is not happy with my convictions, either.)

I do not wish to offend, but I feel my position holds substantial merit and follows the guidelines and laws of our state and local municipalities. Also, my partner falls into the vulnerable population of potential COVID-19 fatalities.

How to proceed politely to maintain family harmony, both extended and within my own household, without apologizing for upholding the law?

GENTLE READER: You might remind them that the future well-being of their favorite uncle is dependent on his being kept healthy and safe.

But Miss Manners supposes that that will poop on the party, as well. As a compromise, you might promise a blowout party, sometime in the vague future when all of this is over, hosted by you and your partner. In the meantime, you are available for planning and socializing via videoconference. So’s their uncle.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My daughter has a habit of acknowledging my birthday and other holidays with a text in lieu of a card -- or, preferably, a phone call.

This year, she sent a “Happy Father’s Day” text, which I did not immediately respond to. After several hours, she sent another text. I don’t want to encourage this type of holiday greeting, as I consider it lazy and disrespectful.

I sent her flowers for both Valentine’s Day and Mother’s Day, and her acknowledgment came in the form of a thank-you text.

Are we at the point that a text is socially acceptable as a way to say “thank you” for a gift? Do I need to reevaluate how I perceive things? Assuming that it is not an acceptable form of communication, is there a polite way to try to get some sort of upgraded acknowledgment or response?

I’m not particularly happy that I’m writing, and feel like a grouch.

GENTLE READER: If you would like her to communicate, then communicate.

She is your daughter, and it is never too late to parent adult children -- particularly in regard to their behavior toward you.

But treating what she may consider a perfectly acceptable greeting with silence, Miss Manners points out, is actually the larger transgression.

If you do not like the method with which she is communicating, tell her. “Texts feel so impersonal. I would love to hear from you. When is a good time to talk on the telephone?”

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)