DEAR MISS MANNERS: I’m often in groups where the subject of stimulus checks comes up. People will interject that they have, or have not, received what they’d expected.

Due to my high income, I’m not eligible to receive anything. Since I really don’t want to admit how much money I make, I try to just remain silent. However, when asked directly, I lie and say I’ve received mine. Do you see a problem with my lies?

GENTLE READER: As no one should be talking about money in polite society anyway, Miss Manners will permit you to escape. If you define the phrase “I’ve received my due” as having already earned it within a higher income bracket, then the truth is merely being subjected to semantics.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband of three years has a few habits that annoy and frustrate me. I have been trying for weeks during the quarantine to discuss them, but every time I have tried to bring up the topics, his response is immediately defensive.

A few days ago, my demeanor changed because I have been ignoring these habits of his so long now. They are so annoying and I am so frustrated. He knows something is bothering me, causing tears to trickle out and leading me to talk less, be less playful and keep my distance. He even apologized, though he doesn’t know what for.

It is also difficult for me to start the conversation because I know I must have some habits that annoy him, too, but he always answers “no” when I ask. And my housekeeping is far below par, but I get no criticism from him on that, either.

How can I criticize him when he sees no wrong in me? Should I just continue to cry, mostly in secret, eat in another room to avoid his table manners, and talk to him less since I feel less close because of the other annoyances?

GENTLE READER: Surely, your husband would prefer that you communicate with him, rather than ignore him and cry in the closet. No doubt, he has noticed that you are pulling away. And the fact that he appears to be more easygoing, blinded by love and seeing no wrong in you, does not mean that you must silently endure what are presumably correctable habits of his.

It is a difficult thing to teach someone that there is a difference between intention and action, and that undesirable behavior does not have to be a character flaw -- if that person is willing to adjust.

Miss Manners suggests that you sit him down and explain that you love him, but that living together means making adjustments in order not to annoy each other continually. And the quarantine, has, as you said, exacerbated that.

Start small and focus on what can be reasonably changed. She further recommends that you cease forcing him to come up with annoying habits of yours. Nothing good can come from that.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: On a grandchild’s birthday, would it be inappropriate for a grandparent to post a message that talks of their late spouse and how they “wanted you to know they are watching over you”?

I personally feel that a child’s birthday celebration is not the time to grieve the loss of your husband. Your thoughts?

GENTLE READER: That you are less than thrilled about Nana’s post on Jaden’s 5th birthday announcement.

However, there is a difference between grieving and acknowledging. If Nana was diverting attention from Jaden by posting a page-long eulogy in lieu of a birthday message, that would be one thing. But Miss Manners sees nothing wrong with acknowledging that Pop Pop might be thinking of him as a way of reminding him of his grandfather -- as long as that acknowledgement is kept brief and doesn’t scare the celebrant, as in “Happy birthday, Jaden. Miss Manners is watching you.”

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I love to cook and bake, and am told I’m quite good at it. My husband, who means well but is completely oblivious to common sense, found out that a friend of his was getting rid of her stove and buying a new one.

That she might be getting rid of it because it’s a complete junker didn’t occur to him. I came home from work to find that he had surprised me by replacing my perfectly fine stove with the stove his friend had gotten rid of.

I don’t know why he thought I needed a new stove when I liked the old one. The new one is horrible. The oven has only two settings: too hot (things burn on the outside and are still underdone on the inside) and too cold (things don’t finish baking). None of the burners fits right and they all tilt, which means that it is impossible to cook evenly on the stovetop. After only a month, I’ve come to hate cooking, and dread going into the kitchen to try to make a salvageable meal on that piece of garbage.

Obviously the solution is for me to buy a new stove for myself, which I’m going to do, annoyed though I am at having to spend the money. How do I do so in such a way that I don’t convey to my husband that I hated his gift? Do I need to wait a certain amount of time?

What do I say if he asks me why I bought a new stove so soon after he gave me one? Do I raise the subject, and if so how, or do I just quietly replace it and hope he doesn’t say anything?

GENTLE READER: There is a difference between the surprise element that comes with a personal present and that of a major shared household item.

Miss Manners gives you her permission to replace the oven openly, telling your husband, “I can see why Mandy got a new stove. I am afraid that this one was on its last legs, and we’ll have to get a new one.” She further suggests that you take this opportunity to request that your husband confer with you when it comes to replacing crucial domestic appliances -- if not, perhaps, charm bracelets and coffee mugs.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My sister-in-law sent my husband $1,200 and told him to spend it on clothes and stuff for himself.

It takes me one month to earn that kind of money working 40 hours a week. For the past three months, I have been working 80 hours a week to support us. I am stressed and tired to the max, but I do it so we can be comfortable. My husband does not work, which is an arrangement we agreed on.

We just got married and moved into a house that needs furnishings. I feel that he should not accept the gift if it is tied to how she wants it spent. I think that the money should be used to buy necessities. There are a lot of things we need and want. Clothes are not one of them -- especially $1,200 worth of clothes.

I feel disrespected by his family. I work very hard to support us, and to have them dictate how to spend a gift of cash is creating a huge rift between us. Am I overthinking this?

GENTLE READER: You are underthinking it.

Every time Miss Manners believes she has completed her list of reasons for disliking cash as presents, a Gentle Reader is kind enough to provide another.

Etiquette awards the choice of gift to the giver, but frowns on attaching conditions. (The difference between a suggestion and a condition is left to the reader to determine.)

Etiquette also recognizes the recipient as the beneficiary. Had your husband received a box of chocolates, it would have been considerate of him to offer you some -- precisely because there was no requirement that he do so.

As both you and your sister-in-law are at fault, Miss Manners will address herself to your husband, and suggest that it will be easier on him if, in the future, when his sister wants to spoil him, she precedes it with a private phone call so she can provide an actual present.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My mother died seven years ago. Her sister, who is in her 90s, is the only family member of her generation still alive. She and my mother were not close and I have not had good relations with my aunt.

When my aunt dies, am I, as the oldest member of the next generation, obligated to send flowers or make a donation to her designated charity? If so, can I send it on behalf of her sister, my mother, even though she is deceased? Or can I simply send a short note to my cousin, with whom I am not close, offering her my sympathy?

My mother was a paragon of good manners and I feel obligated to make sure she would be represented well.

GENTLE READER: You are right to represent your mother’s feelings, rather than your own, on the death of your aunt. But the name at the bottom must be your own: Anything made to look like it comes from your deceased mother will be alarming, and might also be seen as disrespectful.

Write a letter to your cousin expressing your own condolences. Although such letters are not typically long, there will be plenty of room to include the kind words you believe your mother would have said to mark the occasion.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)