DEAR MISS MANNERS: My question is how to respond to applause.

Golfers get it on every green, even if they have missed two putts. Some do not acknowledge it at all; some just raise a hand to the waist or even lower. The better ones touch the front of their cap or wave to the crowd, both rather classy gestures.

Most efforts are desultory and perfunctory at best. It’s clearly a bother to some, as if they’d rather not have any audience at all (perhaps to distract them). Some overdo it, I think.

I think that golfers are entertainers and should follow some rules. In a theater, actors bow and acknowledge applause until they leave the stage or drop the curtain. They know who is paying their salaries. Golfers seem ungrateful.

GENTLE READER: How entertaining golf is as a spectator sport, Miss Manners will leave to those more knowledgeable than herself. She agrees that, generally speaking, professional sports, like theater, are entertainment.

The recent invention of street applause -- for first responders and teachers -- is more akin to a traditional bow, and should be acknowledged as such (assuming those being thanked are actually present). But actors are not expected to take bows mid-monologue, and athletes, doctors and teachers cannot be faulted for concentrating on their game.

What to do, then, when the sport does not establish a time for accepting the trophy, or for protesting that the victory would not have been possible without your teammates, your mother, your significant other, your agent and your fans? A tip of the hat or raised hand seems a reasonable -- and grateful -- compromise.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: When traveling by public transportation, is it proper to move from a seat next to another person to one next to an empty seat?

Americans have a tendency to spread out when we can, so I generally expect that the person next to me (especially if she or he is seated by the window and can’t easily move) would appreciate the extra space. But I don’t wish to give offense if my moving is likely to cause my seatmate to think I find his or her proximity unpleasant.

GENTLE READER: The pandemic has changed so many things about our daily lives that it is noticeable when something stays the same.

Switching seats was never rude -- so long as it was done with an absent-minded look, as if you thought you were getting off, realized this was not your stop, and sat back down in the nearest available seat. Miss Manners insisted on this bit of playacting so as to preserve the possibility that your action was not a complaint about size, body odor or telephone habits.

It is all the more useful to avoid implying that a person may not only be carrying a fatal disease, and is heartless enough to knowingly inflict it on fellow travelers.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: A family friend is on disability and Medicaid, but has not received a stimulus check and has not valued a word I have to say about it.

She always asks another family member why she has not received her check, and this person always assures her she will. We know it’s probably because of a Social Security issue, but she won’t call to find out. How to go about convincing her?

GENTLE READER: The temptation to give advice to those who don’t want it is, Miss Manners appreciates, strong. Resist.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: A man I know from work, who is 36 and never married, has been dating a woman for about two months. (She is 41, but I do not know much else about her.) He has become very distressed. Apparently, they had a fight when she asked him how much money he makes, and he refused to tell her. She did not like that, and told him so.

For the rest of the weekend, she was cold and distant to him. He spent the entire time trying to “soothe her feelings.”

Another woman and I agree that this was a totally inappropriate question -- especially since they had just started dating recently. We feel that there should be a time limit before asking a question like that.

He would like to continue seeing her, but we feel that she is a gold-digger and he should just leave her behind. What is your opinion on this?

GENTLE READER: The time for such a question between uncommitted couples is, in Miss Manners’ opinion: never.

It is not unreasonable for a lady to want to know the answer before she accepts a proposal of marriage. And at that point, he can inquire about hers.

Yes, the question was rude. But whether you can convince the gentleman of this -- or should even try -- is another matter.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I broke up with my girlfriend in March. While we were together, she friended several members of my family on social media. Since our breakup, she is still friends with my family on the site.

I really don’t want her in my family business. Is it not common courtesy to unfriend your ex’s family after you break up? Is there a way I can tell her or my family to cut ties?

GENTLE READER: Prior to your breakup, the propriety of telling your girlfriend what to do (or what not to do) may have been in question. Subsequent to the breakup, it is not.

Miss Manners therefore urges you not to raise your concern with her. Family members can be asked to limit contact from their side. But if you and the lady split amicably, there is no etiquette requirement that family members take a harder line.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I regret to inform you that I am one of those persons you have repeatedly chastised for failing to ensure that generous gift-givers receive personal thank-yous -- only, please, let me explain!

I graduated this past May and received a number of congratulatory gifts, mostly checks, from relatives. I kept a list of who had sent what, so I could send out appropriate thank-you cards. I then composed said cards and drove to the post office to send off a whole bundle.

However, several months later, my grandmother informed me that her sister was irate at not having heard from me, and that several other relatives had asked if their presents had been received and/or used. It appears that the entire stack of thank-yous was somehow misplaced in the mail -- and of course, now I do not accurately remember who sent what.

I feel terrible. My relatives must now think me ungrateful and ungracious, and I do not know what I should do. If I send off new notes, will relatives think I carelessly delayed my thank-yous? Is it possible that those relatives who have not voiced their displeasure did receive their notes? Or should I not mention the lost notes at all, because relatives will not like to hear excuses?

GENTLE READER: No one likes to hear excuses, but if one must, Miss Manners would prefer a more plausible one. One letter being lost, maybe; a bundle of them? Not too believable.

You can get copies of those checks from your bank. And if you kept a list of objects, even if you threw it away, surely you could remember some?

But you do not need to convince Miss Manners if you can convince a parent to contact relatives and say, “I saw Trevor writing to you; he was so grateful, and now he is so distressed that you never received his letter.”

Failing that, just write, “I am devastated that somehow you never heard how grateful I am ...”

DEAR MISS MANNERS: When writing a letter to the first lady of the United States, what is the proper salutation? Would you simply use “Dear Mrs. Washington,” or is there a more formal greeting that should be used?

GENTLE READER: Actually, that particular person preferred to be called Lady Washington. This did not go over well in a country that had just freed itself from monarchy and a class system.

Subsequently, “first lady” (and “firsts” for the rest of the family, including any pets) has come to be used as if it were a formal title -- but it is not. The president’s wife is someone upon whom we dump expectations and grant precedence, but the position has no official sanction or, for that matter, salary.

She is properly addressed as “Mrs. Washington.” The only distinction is that it need not be as “Mrs. George Washington,” as everyone knows which Mrs. Washington you mean.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)