DEAR MISS MANNERS: I’ve been with my partner for over five years, and it’s really starting to get to me how little effort they put into keeping our home clean.

They’ve always been a bit on the lazier side, but I feel like it’s gotten worse over time. (I don’t want to immediately point to their increased cannabis consumption as the cause, but the thought has crossed my mind.) I’m doing my best to keep our home clean, while the amount of effort they put in is next to none. At most, they will occasionally tidy up the living room. The rest of the chores have become solely my responsibility.

It’s gotten to the point, and I know this is petty, that I only wash my own dishes, just to see if they take the hint or even notice. It’s been five days now: All of my dishes have been cleaned after I used them, while theirs are still in or around the sink. I honestly don’t know if they think I enjoy cleaning all the time (I don’t), or if they’re just enjoying knowing they don’t have to clean because I’ll do it.

I know I need to speak up, but I just don’t know how. In the past when I’ve made comments about cleaning, they get upset, tell me that they do their fair share (it’s never been a fair share, but it used to be more), or that they’re trying to get better. I know bringing it up will start an argument, and I hate having to deal with them when they’re in that mood. Knowing this, and knowing a conversation has to happen, how do I tell my partner to start helping out?

GENTLE READER: Conversations like this are always difficult, but letting it build up to the point of ending the relationship and moving out without saying anything is infinitely more so.

Miss Manners noticed that you did not mention this ending the relationship as an option (or perhaps, during the world’s current situation, it is not one), so she is happy to see that there is still hope. Her best advice is to ask for the advice of your partner:

“I don’t know what to do. I am deeply unhappy about the cleaning situation, and I don’t seem to be able to talk to you about it. I know that it is your position that we clean up equally, but I noticed that when I only did my own dishes for a few days, yours went untouched. I am not trying to trick or test you, but I am at my wit’s end. I want this relationship to work and to be free of resentment, but I am finding that particularly difficult right now.”

Your partner will either listen and change, or won’t -- forcing you to make a bigger decision. Either way, you will likely have a clear, less dish- and dust-laden path forward.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband eats eggs that are cooked over-easy as if it were a surgical procedure: With extreme precision, he cuts a square on top of the egg and pulls the flap back to expose the yolk. He then cuts his sausage and dips it into the yolk puddle. He claims this is perfectly acceptable and does not violate any element of good table manners.

For some reason, even as I describe this faux-fondue eating method, I find it a disgusting appetite suppressant. However, I can find no reference in my etiquette books that addresses this matter specifically.

Isn’t this a variation of playing with one’s food?

GENTLE READER: The etiquette rule that applies here is that any eating habit that disgusts one’s partner to the point of nausea should be ceased immediately. Miss Manners recommends that you encourage your husband to eat his over-easy eggs in private -- and serve only hard-boiled or scrambled ones when you are breakfasting together.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I bought my dear friend a wedding shower gift back in January, before the world turned upside down. The gift was purchased through her registry, and I received a notification that it was delivered to the bride and groom.

A few weeks later, both the shower and the wedding were delayed until 2021. I’ve spoken to my friend on the phone several times since then, but she has not brought up the gift.

I completely understand that my gift is not at the top of her mind, and I haven’t felt like it was appropriate to bring it up, but should I check to see if she received it at all? Is it tacky to give her a picture of the gift at the shower next year, or am I on the hook for two gifts?

GENTLE READER: Better to find out now, so that you can rectify the delivery problem, if need be, and alleviate any future doubt or resentment: “With the mail system being a bit precarious right now, I wasn’t sure if you had received the ravioli cutter. Please let me know if it did not come, and I will call the retailer.”

If you would prefer not to blame the mail system, which has enough troubles, you could wait until the event is rescheduled. Miss Manners does find giving a picture of the present a tad off-color. However, a gentle reminder -- as in, “I am so sorry for the circumstances, but I am glad that you got to use the cutter while we were quarantined. It seems that we all had the instinct to make homemade pasta or bread” -- would not be remiss.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My little brother always wakes me up in the morning and bothers me. I have tried to tell him calmly to go. I usually yell at him. What should I do? I want to sell my brother.

GENTLE READER: You might offer him back to the owners first, although being pre-owned, they may not give you the best price.

They can, however, get involved and help redirect these unwanted alarms, or at least propose a more mutually acceptable timeline for them. Barring that, Miss Manners suggests that you get their permission to invest in a lock -- and noise-canceling headphones.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have the pleasure of serving on a nonprofit board in my community for a volunteer program, which takes up a great deal of my time. I am entirely new to board membership -- being young and only recently graduated from college -- and am finding myself ignorant about how to proceed in certain cases.

One such case is before me: It’s been proposed that we add to the board a volunteer with our organization who, though personally pleasant and energetic, I find extremely difficult to work with. She has engaged in some really thoughtless spending with the nonprofit’s money, and created a paperwork fiasco that endangered our founding grant.

We have open meetings, so I find myself with the unlovely choices of announcing these qualms in front of her, going behind her back to tell other board members what I think privately, or standing aside from the vote. Or faking sick until the issue is resolved without me.

We live in quite a small community, and I am worried about antagonizing someone who has worked very hard for us, even though she often works very hard at doing things that we then spend time trying to fix. Do the rules of courtesy have any proposals for how to deal with such a case?

GENTLE READER: It is time to learn a phrase that is familiar to every board member with only slightly more experience than yourself: executive session.

This is the part of the meeting when the board sends away the nonmembers so they can talk about the staff (or anyone else) behind their backs.

Far from being something that board members apologize for, it is the time when they can carry out their primary duty of oversight, or, in this case, vetting the future leadership of the organization. Even nonprofits assert their ability to run “like a business,” and this is the time to prove it by expressing your concerns in an impersonal, matter-of-fact way.

Miss Manners will not, however, object if you conclude your remarks by saying what a nice, well-meaning person she is -- you just felt duty-bound to raise the issue of her past performance.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I’m part of a golf group on the weekends. We’re all friends. But there are six of us, we can only play a fivesome, and I was the latest addition to the group. A few members are VERY unreliable. One time, one of the guys opted out because of travel plans, and I was notified I was playing -- only to be dropped at the last minute when his plans changed. No class.

GENTLE READER: Indeed. Miss Manners would have expected your group to come to an understanding about a regular rotation, but she has no objection to a seniority rule if it works for the members.

However, last-minute invitations are hurtful enough without the additional rejection of rescinding them. This is true even if the activity does not involve clubs or high-speed projectiles.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)