DEAR MISS MANNERS: I’ve noticed I tend to respond to emails from my colleagues with the term “guys,” regardless of the gender of the recipients -- i.e., “Thanks, guys.”

I also do this if I’m responding to an email when all the recipients are female. I also do this in person, unless all the people I’m addressing are female, in which case I will use the term “ladies.”

Is there more of an ambiguous or polite term I should be using? And does it matter if I’m referring to only females? For some reason, “Thanks, ladies” seems condescending to me in an email, but perhaps I’m too sensitive. I have a great deal of respect for my colleagues and would hate to learn I’ve ever offended any of them.

GENTLE READER: Email affords you the opportunity to choose your words carefully, and to know whom you are addressing. However, there is rarely a need to identify groups in terms of gender, so why not give it up entirely? “Thanks, everyone” or even just “Thanks” is sufficient to end a letter or discussion.

Miss Manners has noticed that others have taken up her distaste for “you guys” as a generic, supposedly gender-neutral greeting. And the strange notion that a feminine form such as “ladies” is perceived as an insult further corroborates that inherent bias. Until we find a greeting that is truly gender-neutral and satisfactory, Miss Manners suggests that we all give up addressing mass audiences by gender entirely. It seems inevitable to get it wrong or cause offense.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have a relative who exercises during conversations. It used to be that she would drop to the floor and do situps, leg lifts or pushups. Family members didn’t know what to say or do, but after she had left, we all agreed that we thought the behavior was quite strange. She even used to do leg stretches in the aisle at restaurants, and I worried that she would trip the wait staff.

Now, she no longer drops to the floor, but does standing stretches and yoga-type exercises. It’s extremely distracting to any conversation the rest of the family is enjoying, particularly when she stands in the line of sight between two people who are conversing.

Is there anything we could or should do to stop this behavior? Currently, I leave the room when this occurs, taking a very long time to get a drink or find a tissue, but then I miss the conversations. There is often no place I can escape to. Do we continue to tolerate such odd behavior?

GENTLE READER: “Mary Louise, I admire how committed you are to fitness, but it is somewhat difficult to hear you or others while you are doing all that heart-healthy breathing. Perhaps you can take a break while we talk so that all of us can enjoy the conversation. Later, I would love to have you show me some of your more effective moves.”

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: What advice do you have for organizers of annual events, in light of cancellations brought on by the pandemic?

If I were the organizer of, say, the 75th Annual Springfield Souvenir Spoon Show and Swap Meet, I would have already made the difficult decision to cancel the 2020 event. So, what do I call the show and swap meet that I am organizing for 2021? Can it still be labeled an annual event, even though we skipped a year? And is it the 75th?

I just canceled that jubilee event! Can we celebrate our 75th show in 2021 and still, in good conscience, proclaim to be an annual event?

GENTLE READER: While the COVID-19 pandemic may be new, the reality that unanticipated events will affect the best-laid plans is not. Europe is littered with summer festivals that went on hiatus during World War II, if not for the Fourth Crusade.

Next year’s Spoon Show and Swap Meet will be the 75th, even though it is the 2021 event. Miss Manners reminds you that there are two reasons to explicitly label an event as annual: the hope that when people attend this time, they will put it on the calendar for next year; and the bragging rights of being an institution. The former will, one hopes, have effect again soon. And the footnote around the latter will enhance your reputation by emphasizing your longevity.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: We take care of a former neighbor (let’s call her Mary) who is largely a shut-in. When another neighbor recently passed away, Mary wrote a sympathy card to the widower of the deceased, addressed it “John Doe, widower,” and asked us to deliver it.

We feel that this is in extremely bad taste, and are holding the letter until we can decide what to do.

Mary has a barely concealed crush on John Doe, and we feel she has designs on him. Addressing the card “widower” seems like pouring salt on an already-open wound. Oh, did I mention that this letter was written on the day John’s wife died?

What should we do with this card?

GENTLE READER: As it is too late to avoid accepting the letter, you are going to have to speak with your former neighbor to explain why you have not delivered it.

“We saw John and we were going to give him your letter, but he was so distraught that we realized you would not want to make him feel worse with an envelope addressed to ‘widower.’ Would you mind if we put your letter in a new envelope before we deliver it?”

If the friend declines, then apologize and return the letter to her. If not, address the envelope -- and drop it in the mail.

Miss Manners realizes this is not the delivery method your neighbor is expecting, but she is equally confident that you do not want to be associated with whatever further insensitivity is to be found inside the envelope.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I live in New York, and am lucky to have many friends concerned for me during the pandemic (particularly from my home country, which is far less affected). I say “lucky,” but initially, I was drowning in their concern.

At one stage, I received messages from people I hadn’t heard from for years, and requests for video calls from morning to night, which I was unable to keep up with. At the same time, countless “buddy check” text groups sprung up, with each social group requiring a check-in.

I’m still working, plus many of my friends are at home and contacting me at awkward hours. Over time, I’ve been able to gently convince some to back off -- reminding them that I’m well, happy, still employed, have a safe home, and am an introvert who likes isolation.

After spending my whole workday on video calls, this introvert really just needs some quiet time, and I don’t want to blog every day. However, if some extroverted acquaintances don’t see a social media post from me, they’ll send multiple messages asking if I’m OK and attempt to call. I set my phone to do-not-disturb after 7 p.m. so that I don’t hear the calls. They immediately text an “RU OK?”

However well meant, it feels really intrusive. I’m not sure what to do, short of simply ignoring these people entirely -- which feels very rude.

The truth is, I have a really well-developed support network and we look after each other. The presumption that these acquaintances need to do a personal “proof of life” check on me every few days seems absurd.

I’ve asked other friends here in NYC, and they’re experiencing similar frustration with people back home bombarding them with contact requests and check-ins.

What on earth can I politely say to get well-meaning people to leave me the heck alone? It seems like a little thing, but I’m at my wits' end.

GENTLE READER: As if there were not enough divisions in society already, COVID has created another: the Doing and the Not-Doing.

In addition to worrying about the disease itself, the Not-Doing are further oppressed by unwanted free time, which often comes at the cost of financial stability. The Doing -- a group that includes not just first responders, but food workers, teachers, civil servants and others -- are working longer hours than ever. The extra work is due to increased need for their services, but is made harder by the disintegration of any sense of time: Particularly if you are working from home, ”9 a.m. to 5 p.m.” no longer provides any protection.

Miss Manners reminds everyone that theirs are not the only frayed nerves. And she absolves you from responsibility for responding to emails, phone calls and texts for some time after you have assured your distant friends that you are grateful for their concern, but you are healthy, and that your only problem is that there are no longer enough hours in the day to get everything done.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)