DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am expecting my first child in August. What to do about the baby shower? I’m disappointed to miss the chance to gather with our friends and family, and like many couples, we would greatly appreciate gifts. Sweet toys and blankets will be loved today and treasured keepsakes tomorrow, and more practical gifts will be greatly appreciated lifesavers!

I have seen “virtual” or “remote” showers suggested. One forum even recommended a drive-by shower, where people drop off gifts in the driveway while the couple sit in lawn chairs and wave, like some sort of feudal lord and lady gathering tributes from their subjects!

To me, a baby shower should be an opportunity to celebrate with friends and family, and should include food, drink, entertainment, party favors, conversation and togetherness. Gifts are an optional yet non-negligible “bonus” of the event. Without the party, a registry seems a purely materialistic grab. On the other hand, if it were a friend having a baby in this uncertain time, I would eagerly contribute a gift and be the first in the tribute-drive-by!

What would Miss Manners do?

GENTLE READER: Aside from not planning her own shower? And aside from reacting in horror, as you do, to the idea of presiding at a sort of viewing stand for the purpose of collecting tributes?

She would be happily anticipating the birth of the baby, secure in the knowledge that friends and family will be even happier to celebrate after that event (and perhaps to bring those keepsakes-to-be).

It should not matter that this will not take the form of a shower. If, by then, people are still not able to pay the customary first visit to a new baby, surely you will want to have virtual visits with them.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: May I please cut the label flaps off my good towels? They are nothing but a bother.

GENTLE READER: Only if you allow Miss Manners to cut those pesky little tags off of her scarves. No matter how she drapes the scarf, the tag insists on being on top.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I inherited a silver bracelet from my mother. It is a Greek key design featuring ancient Greek temples, gods and boats between the stations. How should l wear it?

I like having the stations and designs face me, but maybe they should face outward so others could see them?

GENTLE READER: The acceptable reasons for wearing jewelry are to enjoy it oneself and to show the person who gave it to you how much pleasure you get from it. Showing off, however satisfying, is not a proper reason.

Therefore, wear your bracelet facing you. Should you be seized with the secret desire to show it off, Miss Manners could point out that by merely raising your arm from the elbow, you will give anyone within range the proper view.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My daughter is a high school senior who graduated this year. However, due to the coronavirus, there was no graduation ceremony.

At the beginning of the school year, we ordered graduation announcements that stated the originally scheduled location, date and time of the ceremony. My daughter thinks it’s “stupid” to send them out, since graduation did not happen.

While the ceremony was canceled, my daughter’s graduation is a milestone for her, and I would like to mail the announcements to family and close friends. Is it OK to mail the announcements even though the details regarding the ceremony no longer apply?

GENTLE READER: Your daughter has learned something in addition to her high school studies. It is indeed strange and misleading -- ”stupid” is a bit harsh -- to announce a ceremony that has not taken place. And it is especially tactless to do so over the objections of the person most concerned.

Yes, Miss Manners understands that you are proud of your daughter’s achievement. There are ample ways for you to mention it to everyone whom you believe will be interested without using announcements that would prompt them to think, “So they held a graduation after all? That was foolhardy. I just hope they’re all OK.”

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I wish to inform my doctor I will no longer require his services. I’ve found a lot of information and protocols for doctors wishing to “terminate” a patient, but nothing for the patient wanting to properly communicate their wish to change doctors.

Were it merely a matter of thanking the doctor for their excellent care, I would not be at a loss for words. This is not that.

GENTLE READER: If you sued him for malpractice, he already knows you are leaving.

Short of that, if you feel you cannot even mention the care while dropping the modifier “excellent,” Miss Manners suggests, “I would appreciate it if you would forward my records to Dr. Nathaniel Tenderhands, as I will be seeing him in the future.”

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I’ve often wondered about the correct usage of “please.” Should it be used in this way: “Please hand me that item”? Or, rather, “Hand that item to me, please”? Or the third option of, ”Could you please hand me that item?”

Two of these seem to be making a request, but one sounds demanding. Which would be most proper?

GENTLE READER: The “please” should go before the request. But now that tedious people are given to resisting the simplest of conventional courtesies, Miss Manners is grateful when it is in there at all.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: When writing a letter on stationery that has only one deckled or torn edge, should the straight edge or the torn edge be at the top of the letter?

GENTLE READER: If it is torn, don’t use it. Miss Manners is only guessing that it is intended as a sort of petticoat ruffle, which goes at the bottom.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am ready to yank my fingernails out with vise grips!

One of my best friends lost his partner several months ago, and keeps bombarding friends and family with tribute requests. I acquiesced initially, but I’m taking a firm stand now and refuse any further participation.

How do I convey my message without losing a friend?

Mind you, his significant other was a tough 22-ton tanker times 10 -- a two-fisted hardcore alcoholic. On any given day, he would be in a stupor at best, breaking coffee tables at worst. For us to contribute to a liver foundation because he died of liver disease, I feel, is outrageous!

It’s been going on nearly a year now, and my friend is asking if he can count on us for yet another memorial donation. Please give some soothing advice, or else I’ll be going in for a medical manicure very soon.

GENTLE READER: “I have limited resources and will be turning my attention to another cause this year. But I will be sure to drink a toast in Thadeus’ honor the next time we are all together remembering him.”

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have a dear friend who is only available to speak with me late at night, around the time I am having something to eat. It has come up that she doesn’t approve of my eating while on the phone. I understand, but the alternative is that I would call her back later, which she also doesn’t want me to do.

I am hungry, distracted and need to eat something, so I am torn between eating or talking with her. How should I handle this?

Oh, and I am not in need of losing weight, so that is why I don’t see this as an opportunity to do so.

GENTLE READER: While Miss Manners would never have jumped to that conclusion, you now have her wondering about the timing of these conversations and how long it takes you to digest.

Would not the logical solution be to pick a time that is mutually satisfactory? Late enough for your friend, but after you have had time to eat? She suggests that you start setting some parameters: “9 p.m. is when I have my muffin break. Perhaps you can call at 9:15.”

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I received a call from a man who had gotten my phone number from my niece. She did not ask me first if it was OK for him to have it.

Is it all right for her to have done this? She thinks I’m overreacting.

GENTLE READER: Perhaps she would change her mind if you reversed the situation. Miss Manners does not necessarily recommend putting this into practice -- she is not in the business of exacting revenge. But the mere suggestion that you know lots and lots of eligible people her age who would just love to chat with her, constantly and without warning, might be enough to make your point.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)