DEAR MISS MANNERS: On several occasions, I have met someone new at a party or an event, and in the middle of a pleasant conversation, had that person look me right in the eye, smile and say with regret how heavy they are and how much they need to lose weight.

I am an overweight woman, and although I try every day to eat right and stay fit, I do struggle with it. Invariably, this new acquaintance is someone much thinner than I. I am perplexed at how to respond, so I usually just stare expressionlessly and try to change the subject.

Of course I can’t agree with them, because it isn’t true. I suspect they want me to say that they don’t need to lose any weight at all, and that certainly I am the one who must lose weight.

However, this is so obvious that it doesn’t seem necessary to even say it, and I don’t want to discuss my weight or theirs. It strikes me as being very rude to tell a heavy person that you yourself want to lose weight, especially when speaking to someone who is perhaps twice your size. What do you suggest as an appropriate response?

GENTLE READER: “Oh dear, I am sorry to hear you say that about yourself. My experience is that people can be healthy and attractive at all different sizes.”

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am a teacher looking for a polite way to respond when people tell me that “it must be nice,” in reference to not working and receiving pay for July and August.

The fact that two months of our salary is held back to preclude filing for unemployment is lost on most people. Similarly, people also say that teachers work a half-day. Most schools have teachers on site for seven hours, with less than an hour for lunch. I am contractually “at work” for seven hours. Most jobs are eight. And no one wants to think about the hours spent at home working.

I’ve tried to be polite and explain. I’ve been snippy. I’ve just rolled with it. After 28 years, it is enough. What comment might get through to people?

GENTLE READER: “Oh, I’m not sure you understand how the teacher’s day and school year work. So tell me, do you actually get to pick when you have lunch and go on vacation? That must be heaven!”

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am familiar with the attempts to come up with an agreed-upon word that English speakers can use as a gender-neutral, third-person singular pronoun, and I had wondered whether people are also trying to come up with a gender-neutral title and term of address.

When I was sending a comment to one of my senators via his website, I noticed Mx. was one of the prefix (title) options. (According to an online dictionary, it is pronounced “mix.”) Is Mx. sufficiently codified, or do you have an alternative that you recommend instead?

I know that Ms. is the title to use if you know you are addressing a woman but don’t know if she prefers another title. Is it correct to use Mx. if you are addressing someone whose gender you do not know? For example, is it acceptable to address an envelope to Mx. Pat Smith? Or is it better to omit the title?

Is Mx. also the gender-neutral term of address, equivalent to “sir” and “ma’am”? If not, what is?

Ms. happens to be my preferred title, and I remember when it came into everyday use. Your explanation of the proper use of Mx. (or whatever the codified term turns out to be) may help it to be adopted more quickly and easily than Ms. was.

GENTLE READER: Having lost the battle with the pronoun “they” -- she is absolutely in favor of its neutrality, just not its confusing grammatical ramifications -- Miss Manners is going to be brave enough to try again, and proclaim her endorsement of Mx., or perhaps just M., as the French have sometimes done. It can be used in formal business settings and written correspondence where first names may or may not be needed.

However, she does not recommend addressing anyone, of any gender, face to face, as Mmmmmm.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am a foreign-born American who came to this country decades ago and who speaks English with only a slight accent. Although I am proud of my heritage, the United States has long been my home, and I am a full-fledged citizen of this country.

I have begun working as a customer service representative dealing with a number of people by phone, and although I love my job, my accent has led to a number of awkward situations.

Occasionally, people will politely ask where I was born and I will tell them, then steer them back to the matter at hand. Other times, however, some will assume that I am speaking to them from a foreign country, which I am not, and make nationalistic remarks that are disturbing. Even worse is when I’m blatantly told that they’d prefer to speak to another representative “who is an American,” though that is my nationality.

I understand that “the customer is always right,” but how do I do my job and reply to impolite remarks that question my background and abilities, particularly when I’m generally speaking better English than the person that I am talking to?

GENTLE READER: “I am so sorry, it sounded as if you said you thought that I was not American? I could not quite understand your English.”

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have been accepted by two graduate schools, which is very exciting! I have already put the deposit down on one, and plan to go there since it seems it will fit my life and learning style best. I was wondering: What is the proper way to decline the other school?

GENTLE READER: There is an argument to be made that applying to a school is a business transaction, meaning that the university, as the seller, should be content with a simple, “Thank you, but I’ve decided not to enroll.”

Miss Manners is not, however, confident that you will never need them again -- whether for the next graduate degree, employment when you graduate, or when your university of choice turns out to be on a flood plain.

She therefore advises the extra effort of telling them how grateful you are to have been accepted, how impressed you were by their program, and how much it pains you not to be able to accept.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: If my husband and I go out to dinner with our two adult children, we pay most of the time. The kids always make a point of saying “Thanks, DAD.”

If I cook a meal at home for the family, I may or may not receive a thank-you from these same adult children. What gives, and should I say something about it?

GENTLE READER: It is worth allowing for the possibility that they are saying, “Thanks, Dad” rather than “Thanks, DAD.” The former could be an unthinking habit, perhaps because your husband is the one physically making the payment.

Miss Manners does not therefore approve the status quo. Both parents should be thanked for both activities, although thanks for everyday cooking more often takes the form of a compliment on the results. Teaching your children this lesson does not fall solely to you as their mother, but it does land on either you or your husband.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My daughter’s in-laws host small parties, and extend invitations to me through my daughter, saying to her, “Tell your dad he’s invited.”

The in-laws have my phone number and are known to send texts. Is it too much to expect a phone call, or even a simple text, directly from the hosts for such invitations? Do such indirect invitations reflect an insincere wish for my attendance, perhaps just for the sake of maintaining appearances?

GENTLE READER: They do show a lack of effort. It is up to you to question -- delicately -- whether they show a lack of sincerity.

Next time your daughter relays the message, tell her that you appreciate that they do not want to exclude you. But you are old-fashioned enough to recognize that these invitations are merely an afterthought, and you therefore will not be burdening them by attending. Your daughter will attempt to convince you that you are mistaken. Assure her that you are not complaining, that you like them very much -- and that you will certainly accept any direct invitations.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)