DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am attracted to a close friend of mine; however, she is engaged to someone else. From her attitude and what I am told by her, it seems she is less than satisfied with the relationship.
We get along well, and I feel an attraction between us. Were she simply dating, I would not feel awkward, and would not think twice about pursuing a relationship. Is it wrong to pursue another who is engaged unhappily?
GENTLE READER: Were she in the morals business, Miss Manners would answer “yes.” Being in the etiquette business, she answers “yes” -- but for a different reason.
Implying that your friend has both poor judgment -- she should not be engaged to her current suitor -- and is untrustworthy -- she has feelings for you, while engaged to another -- is impolite. It is also unlikely to be effective. Instead, listen sympathetically -- and wait.