DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am currently penning thank-you notes to two different sets of friends I enjoyed hosting this fall: thank-yous for their time, company and hostess gifts. I enjoy writing a simple note to dear friends.
However, as a high school English teacher, I receive thoughtful thank-you gifts from students -- primarily, but not exclusively, thank-yous for writing letters of recommendation on their behalf. A thank-you note from a student is cherished and a thank-you gift is not necessary, but appreciated.
I feel guilty that I do not write those students a thank-you note for the gifts, but there are many that all come at nearly the same time, some quite expensive (dinner for two or similar) and I don’t have time. Am I obliged to write a thank-you note for a thank-you gift?
GENTLE READER: That this question is asked frequently astonishes Miss Manners. Letters of thanks need not be answered, but presents, for whatever reason they are given, must always be acknowledged.
She is even more shocked that this comes from a teacher -- and one who writes letters of thanks to friends and appreciates receiving them from students. Why would you not want to take a few minutes to dash off a few more short notes to give your generous students the same pleasure? Do you really want to set them an example of ignoring thoughtfulness?