DEAR MISS MANNERS: I would appreciate some direction about what an appropriate response would be for someone who congratulates me when they hear that my daughter got married.
Unfortunately, I find this comment very annoying, even though I know that it is meant to be positive. I suspect that my interpretation of the comment is based on the following:
1. A rather contentious divorce after 28 years of marriage;
2. I’m really not sure exactly how much involvement I had in my daughter’s ability to get married;
3. In my current situation, not being married, being congratulated on a marriage is not such a good thing.
Perhaps after some time, when I’ve had a chance to decompress and the acknowledgments decrease, this whole thing will subside.
GENTLE READER: Yes -- stop, take a deep breath and decompress. Please.
You seem to believe there should be trigger warnings before well-intentioned people utter simple pleasantries. Remarking “Nice weather we’re having” might set hearers brooding about how that brings on their allergies.
So should the well-intentioned person who thought you might enjoy your daughter’s happiness instead keep in mind that you are only focused on your own divorced state?
Miss Manners should not need to tell you that this was not about you. Nor that the world is rude enough without you nursing insults where none were intended.