DEAR MISS MANNERS: I found myself in an awkward situation on a business trip with a colleague whose mobility is impaired due to bad knees. Our hotel was just a block from our workspace, so we did not have a car.

Midweek, we met up with some other colleagues for dinner at a restaurant about a half-mile away, which is quite easily walkable for me, but not my colleague. She asked if we could split a cab, and I said yes, suggesting she get the fare on the way to the restaurant and I get it on the way back.

However, had it been just me, I would have walked both ways and saved the money. How could I have told her politely that I would have preferred to walk and that perhaps she should get the fare both ways?

GENTLE READER: By telling her from the beginning that you preferred to walk, before any unseemly talk of payment became relevant. But Miss Manners would have taken the cab, just to avoid calling attention to your colleague’s problem.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: An artist that I met once long ago and bought a painting from contacted me through social media. He said that he wanted to send me some small items, as he was thinking of me, and asked for my address. Although I didn’t want anything from him and tried to gently dissuade him, he was adamant, so I did send my address.

When I received the package he sent, it contained some tea that his community makes, along with a thick stack of postcards of his work -- and a note asking me to sell the postcards in order for him to make money to print more postcards.

Although the postcards of his work are very nice, I have no way or desire to sell them for him, nor do I really want them for myself. Could you please suggest what I do with them? I am at a loss.

What seemed at first to be a gift is now a burden of time and finance. Do I return the postcards and the tea? Send him $20 and wash my hands of everything? Do I write him a polite note and tell him I have no way to sell anything for him, and ask what he’d like me to do with everything?

I don’t wish to hurt his feelings or burn a bridge, but this “gift” seems onerous. Help! What is the most polite way out of this situation?

GENTLE READER: Express thanks for the tea and leave it at that.

You owe this person nothing, Miss Manners assures you, except the money that you have already paid for his painting. These postcards were sent under false pretenses and are therefore not your problem.

When thanking him for the tea, you may add: “If anyone asks me about where I got the painting, I will give them one of your postcards to contact you. But I am afraid I am not in the business of brokering talent.”

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Upon being asked by my daughter’s future mother-in-law for my thoughts on a bridal shower, I texted my daughter before answering. The maid of honor is my 20-year-old, so I offered to pay for the bridal party to host a shower at a local, trendy brunch spot, inviting future MIL, daughter’s stepmother, and all grandmothers.

My daughter then let me know that she and her fiance preferred to ask her stepmother and father to host it at their house instead. I let her know that I wasn’t sure how I felt about that. When it wasn’t dropped, I was impolite and stated, “I love you, but I don’t love anyone enough to sit in Daddy’s house with his parents and family.”

I have always been a good co-parent. I made sure we all sat together at every school program and graduation since elementary school. We did college move-in days together. I made sure my girls’ sister from their stepmother’s first marriage was in every picture with my girls at these occasions.

However, this seemed a boundary I needed to draw, especially since the shower was not yet planned.

She asked her stepmother, and perhaps shared my response. Her stepmother then offered to host at a restaurant instead. I explained to my daughter that there was never any issue with coming together as a family, and an alternate location in the middle would have been fine from the start.

But she and her fiance are deeply hurt and feel as though I was not willing to “suck it up” to celebrate them, and that my issues “should not fall back on them because it’s not their fault.”

I certainly wasn’t refusing to see anybody, and had not expressed a negative opinion about having to see them at the wedding.

Besides the reactive, impolite way I set my boundary, have I demonstrated poor etiquette by preferring a more neutral location? I am struck by my daughter’s reaction and reminded her that she might need to take a step back and consider how I have always carried myself, and loved and supported her. On every other matter, I have told her that it’s her wedding and to do it her way. Please advise me on my missteps and what apologies I may owe.

GENTLE READER: Mistakes have been made, starting with the idea that any parents should be giving the bridal shower. Obeying that would solve the entire problem.

And it is a mistake to give your daughter the impression that she can have her way with her wedding without regard to other people’s feelings.

All that aside, you made a reasonable request. But Miss Manners fears that this may have negative repercussions. You will not want to be excluded from future family events “because of that thing with the shower.” So in the interest of family harmony, she suggests that you express thanks and mild apologies to both your daughter and her stepmother. Take comfort from knowing that Miss Manners absolves you from the rudeness of which you accuse yourself.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Is there an ungendered term for “hostess gift”?

GENTLE READER: Yes. “Gift.”

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: When a man and woman eat at a restaurant, who should enter a booth first and slide over? The man would enter a car or boat first, if it were to be entered only from one side, and thus experience the inconvenience of sliding over. However, a man walks on the street side to protect the lady from unpleasantness from the street. That logic would put the lady in the booth first, with the man on the outside.

GENTLE READER: Assuming that the restaurant is not unpleasant, the car-boat rule applies -- although, as with transportation, professional manners substitute rank for gender.

That can be tricky, as a subordinate might not want to slide in first if there were a danger of leaving the boss feeling snubbed. If you believe that your companion -- be it your boss or your date -- will not understand your intentions, Miss Manners suggests being explicit: “Let me just slide over so you don’t have to.”

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My social circle and I have reached the age where our parents are starting to pass away. When a friend loses a parent, but there is no significant other or child involved, I know exactly how to address the sympathy card and envelope. But if someone is married and has a family, what then?

For instance, if someone’s mother dies, and she was also a mother-in-law and grandmother, does that need to be noted? Or is the card just for the immediate family member?

I have wound up sending cards addressed to the family as a whole, and writing things inside like, “Dear Bob, Carol, Ted, Alice, Jimmy and Sally: So sorry about the passing of your mother/mother-in-law/grandma,” but that seems far too unwieldy. Should I send separate cards? Limit it to the offspring only?

GENTLE READER: The principal mourner -- a spouse or partner, then an oldest child, then a parent, then a sibling -- is important for many reasons. One of these is being the recipient of the condolence letter, who can be asked to convey the writer’s condolences to the rest of the family. In addition, there is often a family member designated to handle funeral arrangements -- and adjudicate disagreements -- in the name of the principal mourner.

Miss Manners would think you would also want to write a condolence letter to the relative with whom you have the closest connection, although you can ask that it be conveyed to the others. In any case, your sympathy should be expressed to other relatives at the funeral.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: When a woman needs to wear both a nametag and a piece of jewelry, such as a brooch, what is the correct placement for each?

GENTLE READER: The French word for looking as if you do not own a mirror -- deshabille -- does not carry the same unpleasant connotations as the English word “unkempt.”

But the latter is, in Miss Manners’ experience, more likely to capture correctly the impression you are likely to leave, should you attempt to wear both items closely together. When donning a nametag, the sensible woman adjusts her jewelry, moving brooches to a symmetrical position, or pocketing items that cannot be reconciled.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)