DEAR MISS MANNERS: Though there is always room for improvement, I try to be forward-thinking with regard to my environmental impact.

When I am a guest in someone’s home and water is offered to me in a single-use bottle, is it impolite to request a glass and some tap water instead? I’m equally bothered when handed a disposable red cup at a party, or food on a Styrofoam plate to consume with plastic utensils.

It’s made all the worse because the gracious hostesses in these particular homes do not recycle. I’m guessing I ought to accept these offerings with gratitude and continue to do my part in my own home, but I wanted to see if you had any other suggestions.

GENTLE READER: Only that you must also consider the human environment. While making conditions better for the world, you should not make them worse for your friends. And having someone accept your hospitality and then criticize it is hurtful.

Miss Manners would like to see you separate your advocacy from your behavior as a guest. Sure, you can ask for a glass of tap water, but that is not the time to explain why. There are other occasions when you can talk with your hosts and other good friends about your convictions, although without targeting their habits.

If they decide to change their ways, it will only be if you are able to convince them of the importance of your beliefs. If you seem to sneer at their tableware, they are not going to invite you back, let alone listen to behavioral advice from someone who has treated them ungraciously.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My fiance and I are very traditional and picky about etiquette, and want to do things right for our wedding.

I think response cards and all the extra things enclosed in wedding invitations are tacky and obnoxious. No one wants piles of paperwork falling out of a wedding invitation when they open it!

What are the absolutely required things to include in the wedding invitation, according to etiquette and tradition -- besides the invitation itself, of course? Should there be hotel information, second envelopes or at-home cards?

Also, if we choose not to include response cards in our invitations, is there a way to make it clear to guests that we do expect a reply in writing, whether they will be attending or not?

GENTLE READER: Not to some people.

Sadly, there are always some who have so little respect for those who know them well enough to invite them to weddings that they never respond. And the nonresponse rate seems to be just as high when response cards are sent, even ones to which deadlines and threats have been added.

So just say to them in plain English, “The favor of a reply is requested,” and hope for the best.

In the past, there were such stuffings as separate reception cards, pew cards and even admittance cards, but Miss Manners is in thorough agreement that the formal invitation should not be diluted with all that practical, but informal, information about logistics. You can post that online or send it by email. And at-home cards are sent after the wedding, not with the invitations, when the couple is not yet officially at home together -- even if we know they are.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: How do I appropriately disengage from a friendship of 15 years?

The person in question, one time too many, rudely intruded into both my home and my enjoyment with another friend. After bumping into my friend at an event, this person put her on the spot, grilled her for where and when we planned to get together, and then announced she would join us. And upon arriving at my home, she walked in without waiting to be greeted at the door. This was the last straw.

GENTLE READER: And yet she persists. Leading Miss Manners to think your friend does not much care if she is invited or not. What makes you think that making it official will help?

If this behavior and its borderline trespassing continues, something not just official, but legal, may be necessary. You may want to tell your friend -- kindly, if it matters -- that you do not wish for it to come to that.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: When I meet my mother and grandmother out for a meal, they always order their food and begin eating without me. This is not because I am late -- I arrive at the agreed-upon time -- but they always get there early and claim hunger as the reason to start without me.

Both of them instilled strong lessons of politeness and civility in me at a younger age, but now claim they don’t need to adhere “because they are old.”

GENTLE READER: A handy excuse, but clearly, they should know better.

Miss Manners can think of ways to halt this behavior temporarily -- show up even earlier than they do, or invite them to your house instead -- but the underlying reason for the bad behavior is hard to counter. And she knows that you were brought up well enough not to try.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Is it proper or improper to say “you’re excused” after someone says “excuse me”?

GENTLE READER: Proper. Unless, of course, it is accompanied by sarcasm, question marks or comments.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: The spouse of a relative died, and I attended the celebration of life services. About a week later, I sent a sympathy card with my personal feelings about how he was a role model to me, and how many people attended the services to show how much he was loved.

Since that time, the widow has been out enjoying life with family. I don’t want to call or text her, because it may seem like I am begging for a thank-you. Is it proper to acknowledge the receipt of a sympathy card, or is none to be expected?

GENTLE READER: If a condolence card is used to write an actual letter, it does require a response. However, the bereaved are generally given latitude for its timeliness -- and even allowed to go on enjoying life with their family if they feel so moved.

Contacting the widow to see how she is doing should not be interpreted as a request for acknowledgment of a receipt -- especially, Miss Manners assures you, if you take pains to show that it was not intended as such.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am 23 years old and feel like I’m in a bit of a transition stage with my wardrobe. I enjoy dressing to some of the latest fashion trends, but I also have a sense of sophistication/timelessness when it comes to buying clothing. I feel as though crop tops are a thing of the past, and want to adopt a more sophisticated, yet still fun and youthful, look.

My staple pieces I prefer to buy in a timeless design or color, so that they can be worn throughout the trends and have some class to the item.

I’m in need of a new pair of jeans, and there are three distinct rises: high-rise, mid-rise and low-rise. Which of the three is a more timeless, classic and sophisticated rise?

GENTLE READER: The one whose fit is somewhere between displaying private parts and cutting off their circulation. Reason stands to guess that that is called “mid-rise.”

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have been told twice recently that I “smell good” -- once at my dentist’s office, and once by the property management office when I went in to pay my rent in person.

These are their exact words. Not that my perfume smells good, but that my person smells good.

I do not wear perfume or scents. I just shower every day. I can’t figure out how to respond to this. Just say “thank you”? Or tell them that their compliment is just plain annoying and out of line?

GENTLE READER: While Miss Manners understands that this compliment can easily be construed as lascivious, she is guessing that in most cases, that is not its intention. She therefore requests that you put your annoyance aside and try to accurately read the situation before she gives you permission to adjust the tone of your “Thank you” as needed.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have three children, ages 10, 13 and 15. They have normal disagreements and my husband/their dad and I step in when needed to help sort things out.

But they have a few friends who will chime in during sibling disagreements, taking my son’s or daughter’s side against the other sibling.

I’d prefer to have the disagreement managed just among my children, without any extra input from their friends. How can I politely tell those friends to stay out of the sibling conflict? It’s stressful enough without another child (who isn’t my own) adding their opinion.

If I can move the disagreeing siblings to a different area for a chat between just myself and them, I’ll do that. But sometimes this happens in places like a car, where that isn’t an option.

GENTLE READER: There will come a time, Miss Manners warns you, when your children will have partners and spouses of their own -- and trying to prevent them from expressing opinions on one another’s behalf will be a fruitless endeavor.

Your children are getting old enough so that you cannot always intervene in their quarrels. And probably soon will not want to. Comfort yourself with the knowledge that being a neutral and trustworthy outside party will only help strengthen your relationships with them all.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)