DEAR MISS MANNERS: We moved about four years ago to a small neighborhood in a rural area, where the homes are relatively far apart and people tend to like their privacy. We have a fenced area on our property that is overgrown, and it’s been recommended to me to use goats as an environmentally friendly solution to clearing it out.

Our neighbors behind us have goats, which we frequently see grazing freely around their property. We have not met these neighbors personally (as people tend to stick to themselves here) but have heard through other neighbors that they are friendly.

What is the proper etiquette for asking if we could borrow their goats for a week or so? Should I go over with a plate of cookies, introduce myself and then ask?

GENTLE READER: It would be tempting to issue an invitation directly to the goats, if only they could be expected to answer. (“We would love to have you over. We weren’t thinking of anything formal, you understand, just some light grazing.”)

But Miss Manners believes you really ought to get to know your human neighbors first, perhaps with that cookie-laden approach. You may then, in conversation, admire their livestock and steer the conversation, and the goats, in your own direction.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am a 25-year-old lawyer who worked as a law clerk for a year before passing the bar exam. When I accompany the partner to hearings where the client is present, I invariably get asked whether I am still in law school or how I like being a paralegal.

What is the appropriate response? Also, when I am in the office, sometimes potential clients will walk in and ask me to make copies for them. I usually do this graciously, but I am wondering if there is something I can say to establish the fact that I am an attorney.

GENTLE READER: Etiquette bans correcting someone’s manners. It does not ban correcting their facts -- politely.

The answer to how you like law school is, “I adored it, thank you, but I’m actually an attorney now,” combined with a winning smile that demonstrates (correctly or not) that your feelings have not been hurt.

The request for copies requires you to suppress any resentment enough to remember that while it is not your job to make copies, it is your job to make potential clients happy. This can be accomplished with, “It’s so nice to meet you. I’m an attorney here at the firm, but let me find someone who can do this for you.”

Or you could say with a smile, “You probably don’t want this at my billing rate.”

Being 25 is a time-limited problem, but Miss Manners asks that you remember your dilemma when you are a partner and have 25-year-old associates. That older version of you will be able to save associates from similar embarrassment by always making proper introductions.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I’m an old guy who has recently started getting a lot of tattoos. I belong to an earlier generation that generally frowned upon tattoos, but I’ve been intrigued by them for as long as I can remember. I love my new tattoos and I plan to get a lot more.

It’s easy to deal with compliments -- and I’ve gotten quite a few. But what can I say to people who make insulting comments? Do I stare them down? Cut them dead?

I’ve tried variations of “I got them for me, not for you,” which works, but somehow lacks the little kick I’m looking for. I don’t want to make a federal case of this, but sometimes I just don’t want to let something offensive get by.

GENTLE READER: Try, “Yes, I know they scare some people. But really, I’m quite harmless.”

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Which is appropriate when having an open house for a child?

1. Send paper invites/announcements to those you would like to attend?

2. Send them on social media to those you would like to attend?

GENTLE READER: How old is the child and how big is the house? If your child’s friends are not used to paper, you might not get anyone. If you post this on social media, you may get more than the house can hold.

Miss Manners suggests that you consult an expert on the habits of the circle you want to invite: your child.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I’ve noticed that at checkouts, the clerk often addresses me as “Miss” in a rather dismissive tone. This only happens when the clerks are young men -- never older men, or women of any age, who say “ma’am,” a term of respectful address for any woman.

I feel offended by “Miss,” but I’m not sure why, or if I should say, “Please address me as Ma’am or Mrs. Smith.“

I notice these same clerks often address men of any age as “Sir.” Why not “Mr.” to be consistent, if they are going to call me “Miss”? I think I know why: “Mr.” sounds offensive. But again, why?

I searched the terms “senorita” vs. “senora,” and see that the trend in Spanish is toward calling any adult women “senora” regardless of whether she is married or not. I’m not Latina, but that appeals to me.

I realize my concern may be overly sensitive and trivial, but I would love your thoughts. To put things in perspective, I’m 80 years old, not a young “Miss.”

Perhaps I should just say, “Thanks, Mr.” and grab my groceries and go!

GENTLE READER: Do you know why they call you “Miss”?

Because others whom they have addressed respectfully as “ma’am” have chastised them for violating the fiction that everyone is young or at least pleased to be taken as such.

Miss Manners has been trying for years to dispel the self-hatred that leads people to think of growing old as shameful. She can only advise you not to waste emotional energy on how clerks address you.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I live in a city famous for the nouveau riche materialism of many residents. When I meet such people, their inevitable first question is, “Where do you live?”

I think of this as the “doggie-sniffing-new-doggie question.” It’s a puerile form of “conversation” and a crude attempt to discern net worth, social status and the desirability of my acquaintance.

I have been handling it this way:

Them: Where do you live?

Me: In City.

Them: Well, of course; WHERE in City?

Me: Central City.

Them: Where specifically?

Me: Neither north, nor far north, nor south; Central.

Them: What is the nearest landmark? What are the cross streets?

Since they are so dogged, how may I answer to shut them down? I’ve an address in another city and am considering, “My legal address is in That City. Do you need the P.O. Box?”

I’m very tempted, at their first question, to say with a big smile, “Oh, you’re asking the ‘doggie-sniffing-new-doggie question!’” And repeat that every time they try to pry.

Also, such people never, but never, discuss their own addresses.

GENTLE READER: There are not a lot of safe questions for opening a conversation.

“Where are you from?” and “What do you do?” and “Where did you go to school?” can also be used unpleasantly to evaluate strangers. And we won’t even mention “Who are your people?”

But you, too, are passing harsh, instant judgment on people you are just meeting. Some of them might just be looking for common ground on which to converse. Miss Manners notices that the benefit of the doubt is in short supply these days.

But if you must play your teasing game, just say “Across town” or “Not far from here,” followed by “And you?” with a deeply interrogative stare, to see if they are worthy opponents.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: We are part of a large circle of friends, many of whom often host “bring an appetizer or dessert” parties. If I depart while there are still other guests in attendance, I generally put my remaining food items (finger foods) on a disposable plate to leave behind for anyone who might still be eating.

I heard from one of our most frequent hosts that she resents all the food left behind at her house, as she must then dispose of it. She would rather the person who brought it take it home.

What is the proper etiquette for dealing with food one has brought to a party such as this? Is it different for easily transferred foods, such as stuffed mushrooms or crostini, versus a casserole or salad?

GENTLE READER: To Miss Manners’ disgust, squabbles over leftovers seem to be a feature of communally supplied meals. She can hardly wait for the post-Thanksgiving complaints.

As hosts may differ about accepting the leftovers, the contributing guest can offer them or not, and accept the host’s response. Among friends, it should not be that hard.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Someone told me you said it is impolite to acknowledge another’s personal appearance, even if your intent was a compliment (“My, that sweater looks lovely on you!”). Is this truly impolite?

GENTLE READER: It is if you have no business staring at that person’s sweater.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)