DEAR MISS MANNERS: What is proper placement at a dining table? Specifically, where is the head of the table?

GENTLE READER: The head of the table is where the host is seated. Miss Manners presumes you are asking in your capacity as host, and not as a guest, but the answer is the same.

The only difference is that, if the table itself does not make the answer obvious, then you will need to convey that information so no one sits in your chair. This can be accomplished with place cards or by telling guests individually where they are to sit, both of which are less work than constructing a dais or procuring fan-bearers.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: When one person is already in a narrow hallway, and another person comes down the stairs and tries to enter the hallway and pass by the person already in the hallway, what should happen?

GENTLE READER: Who yields place to let another pass is generally determined by factors other than physical location, such as age, gender, ability (or disability) and even visibility (of the space or the people). But in very narrow spaces, where there may be a limited number of places to go when getting out of the way, Miss Manners is content to have the person closer to the pull-off give way.

She notes that your question was more open-ended (“what should happen”), but if the situation you are describing involves, for example, two newlyweds who have just moved into a first apartment, what may happen in tight quarters is not, first, an etiquette question.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: If someone is riding in the back seat of a car with friends, and the driver drops off the other friends first, should the remaining one in the back seat move up to the front seat?

GENTLE READER: Etiquette encourages this without demanding it, although Miss Manners takes into account the distance to the final destination, the outside weather conditions and the car speed at the time the previous friend disembarked.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Years ago, when gentlemen walked on the outside of a woman when walking along the street, the way I heard it was that it was to protect the lady from threats. Was this, or is this still, the case?

GENTLE READER: It was and is the case (although other countries always put the lady on the gentleman’s right), and threats from the street have not, unfortunately, disappeared.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Could you please tell me proper etiquette for a wedding reception that has now been changed to a “pre-elopement party”? Does this call for the same gift as a wedding?

GENTLE READER: The pre-elopement party is a new one on Miss Manners. She is inclined to classify it still as a wedding reception -- for which presents, though perhaps appreciated, are not customary. She assumes that the guests are not expected to bring ladders to abet the impending escape.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am 70-year-old man from Asia, where old people are more respected. So it bothers me when teenagers or very young people whom I have never met before call me by my first name, when I have never given them permission to do so.

I think the protocol is that they address you by your last name, like “Mr. Johnson” or “Miss Smith,” until you tell them that they can call you by your first name, reflecting the relationship that has developed or whatever is your preference.

I have heard from many foreigners that Americans are rude in certain ways, and this is one of them. Can you please clarify this issue?

GENTLE READER: Yes, but you will have to turn your thinking upside-down. In America, youth is respected. Strangely, even many old people endorse this feeling, to the extent of feeling insulted if they are treated with respectful formality.

Mind you, Miss Manners believes that this is a terrible system. It means no one has anything to which to look forward. But so it is.

Furthermore, there is a widespread belief in instant friendship. Steps to intimacy, including the use of given names, have been all but erased. Therefore, the young who address you are not intending to be rude. They believe that they are being friendly, however unlikely it is that a friendship exists between you.

So their behavior is based on two patent falsehoods: that you are young, and that you are their friend. This is enormously patronizing, and Miss Manners shares your distaste.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: These days, folks assume an invitation or announcement is a solicitation of a gift. How can I convey that my intent for sending an announcement or invitation is truly only to share news, and truly only to wish for someone’s attendance at a celebration?

Putting “no gifts, please” on the correspondence doesn’t work, and is rude. But I am chagrined to think that announcing family milestones is interpreted as a gift grab. There were times when the presumption was not inherent, but it is not these times. What to do?

GENTLE READER: How many times does Miss Manners have to state that invitations and announcements are not bills?

It is true that there are certain occasions to which presents should be brought by those who actually attend: children’s birthday parties, and showers for weddings or expected babies. Otherwise, presents should be given when the prospective donors care enough about the people to want to give them tangible evidence of their warm feelings.

Yes, there is a catch. People who don’t care enough should not be attending those weddings and other ceremonial occasions; and ones who do care, but cannot attend, should want to send a token of their affection anyway.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Servers in a fine dining room at an independent living home for elders have been taught to both serve and remove plates from the right.

Residents believe you serve the plate from the left and remove it from the diner’s right. Please comment.

GENTLE READER: The servers are wrong. As you are the clients, you may instruct management to retrain them.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My sister-in-law of 40+ years, who I thought liked me, stated that she hates Democrats, knowing I am one. I jokingly replied, with a smile, “Hey! I’m a Democrat.”

She responded that the area she lives in is Republican and doesn’t work well with Democrats. I was taken aback. Am I too sensitive? Do I bring it up to her?

GENTLE READER: The way to deal with a mean remark that someone is trying to pass off as a joke is to take it seriously:

“You HATE me? Really? I know we have different politics, but I’ve always been so fond of you! This comes as a terrible shock!”

This leaves her with having to say, “Of course I didn’t mean you,” to which you can reply, “But I’m a Democrat, and you said it to me.” Miss Manners advises saying this with a trembling lip, if you can manage it. And do not crack a smile as your sister-in-law wearily tries to back-pedal.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: About five years ago, I was deeply in love with a man of interests and passions so attuned to my own, it was amazing! Through a series of misfortunate events, we parted ways after two years together. I have healed about 99% with infrequent memories.

I also had strong feelings for his mother (mine has passed). She is widely adored and a kind, loving lady. We shared many happy times together, and I felt a strong connection.

After all this time, I would like to write her a short note of respect and admiration. Am I silly? Would this be inappropriate?

GENTLE READER: While Miss Manners takes your word for the fact that you are motivated only by a desire to be back in touch with this kind, loving lady, and are not using it as a way to get back with her son, she cannot promise that the kind, loving lady will do so.

But yes, write the letter, as it should give the lady pleasure, but omit any mention of the gentleman. And if she does not answer, you should accept the possibility that she consulted her son and he said it was better to leave the situation alone.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Lately I have been to a number of funerals where there is no receiving line. Dozens of people are all milling about and hard to see. As a result, I only get to talk to the family members I recognize, and it’s often been many years since I’ve seen some of them.

Do you agree with me that if the no-line protocol is used, then the people I have come to share condolences with should wear nametags in order to be known?

GENTLE READER: No, because Miss Manners believes that the only way to make sure that everyone has a chance to see the family is a receiving line.

The same is true of weddings, which are often equally frustrating to the guests because of the silly idea that receiving lines are “too formal.” As if funerals and weddings are casual occasions.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)