DEAR MISS MANNERS: When I meet people I do not know, they ask me what I do for a living. Most often, when I reply what subject I teach, they say, “Oh, I always hated that in college.”

To which I want to reply, “And I am sure that I would hate what your life’s passion is, too. Please tell me what it is.” But I know that would just make matters even worse, as it would put them on the spot and make them apologize. Maybe that is what they should do, but not how it should come about.

Could you please give me a reply that tells them what they said was not very nice, but at the same time not make me an enemy for life?

GENTLE READER: ”I often hear that from people who are bad at ...” whatever it is that you teach.

If you had told Miss Manners your field, she could have helped you make it more specific. For example, “I often hear this from people who have trouble figuring out a 15 percent tip.” She asks only that you deliver it with a smile and a sympathetic tone.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: When my daughter got married, the wedding was quite small -- immediate family only, without a reception or party. The ceremony was at our house, and she left afterwards for the city where she and her husband live.

Shortly after, she sent out wedding announcements to her close friends and our friends/family. It was a simple announcement without any mention of gift registries. She was concerned that including that information would appear as though she were trolling for gifts.

She has heard from only a handful of people. Her comment was that she had hoped for some sort of congratulatory note or acknowledgment.

So what is the proper response to a wedding announcement? Is she wrong to have hurt feelings? I must admit, I am somewhat disappointed and hurt, also.

GENTLE READER: That is, unfortunately, a common disappointment. Miss Manners is afraid that it has gotten so that people react to receiving wedding invitations or announcements by wondering, “Do we have to buy a present?” rather than with pleasure at the happiness of others.

And if no present is required, they feel that there is nothing to be done. And so they do nothing, omitting the decency of wishing their friends well. Your daughter has informed friends that she was married -- and they have turned away without saying anything. That they will claim that they didn’t know they were supposed to do anything is no excuse.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: One of my male co-workers recently asked me out for supper. I agreed, thinking we were going as friends. Over dinner, he confessed he has been admiring me and had wanted to ask me out for a long time, and that he would like me to consider being his girlfriend.

Miss Manners, he is a very nice guy, but I am not interested in him as a boyfriend. What is a polite way to reject a guy? I don’t want to hurt him at all.

GENTLE READER: This couldn’t be easier: “I don’t date anyone at work.” And hope that he doesn’t admire you enough to find another job.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: In older films, one sees men shaking hands with women when they are introduced or when they meet casually.

How do you explain that now, men of all ages insist on kissing women on the cheek as a form of greeting? When and why did this custom develop?

GENTLE READER: Cheek kissing, previously relegated to intimate friends and relatives pre-World War II, started running rampant in the 1960s with the social revolution. Presumably, it was an attempt at ridding society of class distinctions. Unfortunately, those distinctions -- amongst acquaintances and in business situations -- only seem to apply to women, rarely men.

Miss Manners sincerely believes that a number of confusing and unwanted interactions could be avoided if we all agreed to keep our lips to ourselves, at least until some degree of intimacy is agreed upon. A second meeting would be a start.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: For our wedding, my fiance and I chose to include not only family, but also friends and co-workers. We come from different cultures (South Asian and Russian), and in mine, individuals are not generally given a plus-one unless they are engaged or married.

This is something we were in agreement about when inviting individuals from both sides. Invitations were sent out several months ago (it will be a destination wedding for many), and the deadline is nearing.

Certain individuals from my work who originally RSVP’d as “yes,” and who were single at the time, are asking if they can bring a plus-one as they are in new relationships. Other co-workers were only given plus-ones if they were engaged, married or in domestic partnerships.

It puts me in an awkward place to say no. Additionally, our wedding is a formal, black-tie affair, and costs approximately $250 a plate. I don’t want to be rude or make someone upset that they cannot bring a date, but the additional costs associated make it difficult. (I am also not sure if I want strangers at the wedding.) There are other co-workers who are single and who are coming, who also were not given plus-ones.

How do we handle this without hurt feelings or being rude? Some of these co-workers have never been to a South Asian wedding, and want to share the experience with their significant others.

GENTLE READER: Not wanting to have strangers at your wedding does not have to be a parenthetical. As a rule, it far outweighs the one that involves you balking at the cost of having them.

That couples must be in a long-term and/or established relationship in order to be invited is perfectly reasonable. In fact, when it comes to secondary guests at your wedding (such as children and pets), Miss Manners allows you to make any criterion that you like -- as long as it is universal. And if that rule goes on to produce new engagements, by forcing your guests to socialize, your co-workers may then thank you -- or blame you -- for the push in that direction.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My friend got me a job at the company where she works -- a temp job for a few months’ time. It was a real help for me, and I don’t know what I would have done otherwise.

My friend is acting as my boss, and she is generally very nice. However, she told me that although she is my boss, I make more than her, and she feels pretty bad about it. I told her I was shocked to hear that and that they should pay her more, but I didn’t know what else to say.

Now I’m feeling terribly guilty and have an impulse to send her money, but I’m afraid if I did, it would be a passive-aggressive move. Is there anything else that can be done? I will be out of here soon anyway, and unemployed again.

GENTLE READER: Well, that should make her feel better.

There are so many things that are exceedingly wrong here and all for different reasons: that a temp would get paid more than a boss; that your friend would think it necessary to mention that to you; that you would feel that any of this is your fault -- and especially that you would think it your responsibility to send her money to make up for it.

Miss Manners finds the last one more confusing than passive-aggressive. Your best course would be to be supportive of your friend: either in her asking for a raise -- or helping her to find a better job.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: This afternoon, my spouse asked me to text our new roommate the location of the thermostat so he could turn on the air conditioner while we were out. I tried to, but accidentally sent the text to a completely different person (the dog groomer). I sent another text to her explaining the previous text should be ignored, and sent the original text on to the intended recipient.

But this got me wondering: Is there a specific etiquette rule on what to do if a message is sent to the wrong person? This text was innocuous, but I sometimes send racier texts to my spouse. What if one of those went astray?

GENTLE READER: This, it seems to Miss Manners, is an excellent argument for not sending saucy texts. But far be it from her to intrude on anyone’s fun.

If a wayward text is sent to the local hedge pruner instead of its intended recipient, a simple apology and redirect is all that is necessary. Convincing your spouse that the mistake was innocent, however, might be a bit more complicated.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Are you required to invite the grandparents of the bride and groom to the rehearsal dinner?

GENTLE READER: What would be the advantage of not doing so?

Surely, excluding them in favor of your Color Palette Specialist and Cousin’s Ex-Girlfriend’s Roommate Who Also DJs will not be worth the family tension that will likely ensue.

Unless, however, Nana and Pop-Pop are given to voicing loud opinions on controversial subjects -- or your marital union. In that case, Miss Manners gives you permission to limit the dinner to only those standing up in, or essential to, the ceremony itself -- however you choose to define that.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)